i want you to take a look around you real quick.
yeah.
i was saying your room is a little messy.
can we clean this later?
okay good.
no but seriously…
i want you to look at everything happening in your life at this very moment.
are you attracting everything you have desired?
or do you feel like you are at a standstill with life?
well you can come from any walk of life and still have the mindset of:
LACK
one word that makes you feel like you can’t get what you want.
well you aren’t alone.
i have a lack based mentality and i’ll tell you how…
its easy for me to get material things or attract “luxury” situations.
some things have happened in my life that i don’t know how it happened.
from working fashion week or meeting celebs,
it just happened due to my intense focus.
a positive and negative in my life.
i would always imagine how it would feel to live “that life”.
how it would feel to have “that thing”.
the ps4 is a perfect example as well.
i saw everyone around me getting the ps4 when it first came out.
i knew i wanted one,
but i just didn’t know when or how.
i remember watching “the last of us” game playing video last year.
“i’m going to get this game.” i said.
i left it alone and didn’t think about it again.
that usually happens when i want something material.
even when i was a cub.
well how crazy i got the ps4 recently,
with the damn game included in the special?
the biggest lack for me comes with wolves.
i always tend to break my neck looking for the wolves of my fantasies.
nowadays i don’t have any options and an unavailable wolf took over my mind.
i started feeling insecure about myself because of him.
that never happened before.
what i realized with the wolves i always attract in my life is either:
a) this wolf isn’t “like that”
b) why would he want me?
but here is the thing:
a) what if he is like that?
b) what if he does want me?
i mean its by no chance the wolf is in my life.
it also also no chance he is what i’m attracted to.
i keep in that mind frame on what i don’t have,
or other people who are getting what i want,
and low key comparing/beating myself up.
as much as this “wolf wolf” situation has been stressful,
it has taught me so much about myself.
didn’t i say there is message somewhere in the mess?
wealthy people attract more wealth because they don’t focus on it
sexually active people attract more sex because they don’t focus on it
lucky people attract more luck because they don’t focus on it
…see where i’m going with this?
when you focus on what you don’t have,
it creates more “lack” situations like that.
when you look at something,
speak it into existence like foxhole noacid said,
and leave it alone.
like i did with the ps4.
so take these lack-like thoughts out your existence:
i am single and no one wants me
i have flaws and people can see it
i don’t have a lot of money in my bank account
i don’t have him and he will be snatched up by someone better
i want you all to start thinking about where the “lack” comes in your life.
start to see what you are obsessing about.
the lifestyle?
the relations?
the money?
the physical?
the wolf?
the vixen?
start thinking you are WORTH whatever you want.
it may not happen today or tomorrow,
but once you acknowledge that you want something,
think positive that you will have it and then leave it alone.
stop being impatient too.
that is one of my biggest problems that creates lack.
so ask yourself if you can easily attract other things in your life…
Why are you not attract that “thing” you really want?
lowkey: this was a huge a-ha moment for me.
i feel this helped someone today.
life is about to change.
Reading this was like reading about myself. Maybe I shouldn’t focus too much on moving to New York and let New York comes to me
PREACH!! This really hits home.
Thinking and reflecting on this great post, I think many of us feel this lack from living in a social media world. Sometimes its hard to not beat yourself up when you get online and see gay dudes in a relationship going on vacation and you are stuck at home by yourself. You see someone having a good time with their parents and your parents are dead and you feel some kind of way like you are missing out on something. You see these people posting pictures of their cubs dressed all cute and having fun with them and you think damn, I dont have anyone to leave a legacy too. You see these fine dudes posted up with their scantily clad pics in the guise of showing their training workout progress and you see the love and thirst these pics generate and you start feeling your lacking or it could be any other number of things about your life where you are feeling like you are coming up short, not taking into account all the positive things about your life. Im stuck at home this holiday weekend while some of my friends are in Miami and DC living it up, I got a beach ready summer body but a broke ass budget, pissed Im eating a hot dog and watching Netflix this weekend. Its like you get into this mindset that life is passing you by.
^This!!!!!!
Yeah, tajan, your comment definitely hits home for me. Its one of the very reasons I deleted all of my social media accounts, as a way to escape from 1) my past, and 2) the toxicity of feeling the lack.
I’ve been off it for about 2 years now and the time spent in isolation has helped me to clear my mind somewhat. My self-esteem has went up drastically since two years ago too.
Now when I look at a guy’s instagram for “fitness tips” while he’s wearing super tight tights while hugging every inch of his body, (lol) I don’t feel the same lack as I used to (ex: “I want a man, a guy like that will never like me, im not exciting enough, hot enough, etc. I want to be lusted after, I want a body like that” etc.). I just say “good for him, now its my turn”.
Sometimes, we just have to go through the funk to see the light. After awhile, the depression gets really old and tired, and you just want to feel happy again, so then your spirit goes through a transition. If social media is the crux of your anxiety, try taking hiatus from it maybe?
If you take away the temptation then you wont be tempted to fall into the same cycle of negative thought patterns. Sometimes we just need a break from all of the things we are inundated with on a daily basis. We’re surrounded by too much advertising and images of physical standards.
Dignified and Tajan both of you guys comments hit home, what both you’ll said I’m experiencing it. I’m home this weekend I wish I went out of town and partying. Dignified I’m with you about social media I still have a Facebook but I don’t go up there because it’s so depressing. Most of my Facebook friends are people I went to school with, old co workers, old friends and they are getting married, being in long term relationships, having kids and I’m still all by myself. Although I’m happy for some of them I hope one day I can look back at this and say I’m so much happier now and I hope that day comes sooner than later.
Shit, I’ve learned most of these ppl posing on social media are fronting! Living off credit card scams, school loan money, or escorting lol
The people that are really making moves have no time to get on Instagram and stunt! Know that!
I can’t feel bad for any of y’all to be honest. I’ve went over this repeatedly and I’m not the only one. Stop comparing your lives to others and you won’t feel bad, it’s that simple. Live your own life man. Call me insensitive, but we all are men in here and I’m speaking nothing short of the truth.
Keke Palmer talked about it in an interview with the Breakfast Club, people sitting back looking at other people’s lives. SMH.
@ The Man
Lol.. well its natural sometimes for people to compare themselves to each other, a lot of people fall into the psychological trap of “keeping up the Jonses” (in a sense). Its so easy to say “stop doing this” like its a decision someone makes in an instance.
Subconscious behaviour is hard to break. If we’re learning how to break the cycle, sometimes we have to acknowledge that its going to be an every day battle, and for some its just worse than others. Being a man has little to do with it IMO. We’re human. It’s a psychological thing.
Its a major pet peeve of mine when people say “stop being depressed, just go for a walk or something” …like, really? (that’s not directed at you, its just a general pet peeve lol)
You’re not wrong though, that’s the message I’m trying to get across as well…focus on yourself, and your self-esteem will increase.
Its just that its takes some people a lot longer to get to that point. Not everyone is confidant or that sure of themselves. Rome wasn’t built in a day and they’re in the middle of their journey man,try to understand where they’re coming from… or we can agree to disagree JMHO lol.
@Eric Deleting facebook was one of the best decisions I’ve done for myself. I might et back on it, but it will be a new account. Fresh, with new eyes. Perhaps you need a cleanse! That day for you may come faster than you think!
@JAY Tell it brother! Don’t believe everything you see! Social media is a pseudo-brand for people. Its advertising which = fake (for many people who have the “Jones’ mentality”)
I love this. Im currently stuck in that exact mindset, but I’ve been slowly but surely working toward being a lot more positive and patient. Thanks for this.
Great post, definitely working on this and attempting to change my mindset on certain things. I tend to worry about things that are months and even years away.
I guess that’s how these free spirits that just pick up and move with no money or plan always manage to land on their feet lol
I’m a worrier I can’t help it!
One thing I never worry about is jobs. I’ve never left a job interview wondering if I got it. I’ve never had a problem in that area.
Dont know why its replying to my own comment lol. But I was trying to say…Well Said Dignified
Well said
Well said!
Pass the collection plate! This post spoke so much truth. We often get side-tracked by the things we dont have and overlook everything we already have. Focusing on what you have only leads to increase, I had to learn this myself. I use to feel like, “why not me”, but not understanfing that maybe I wasn’t prepared for it and also not taking into account as to how others got what they have or even sacrifing to keep it. Count your blessings and more will come. I so love your site lol!
^thanks rain!
i love your comments!
YES Jamari! This is what I was trying to tell you in your competition post! It’s all a state of mind and how you choose to perceive the situation!
You hit the nail on the head with this one, and I totally understand what it means to feel like you’re coming from a place of lack. Its an every day battle, sometimes its easier, some days, not so much.
For me, lack of material possessions and lack of acceptance is what usually gets me,oh and I’m really impatient, but then I think “wait a minute I have BOTH, Im just focusing on the things I don’t have, and the things I want.”
Everything we could want in the world already exists. Either its within us, or we haven’t noticed or decided that we want it yet.
We are not lacking anything, because we have the tools we need to get what we want, we just need to know what the tools are and use them to their capacity.
You better fucking speak it, this post sums up exactly how I’ve been feeling lately. I’ve been down in the dumps on just about everything feeling less then more than ever. My little sister just graduated high school the other day and I was at her graduation like “ugh I haven’t done shit with my life since I got out of high school, blah blah woe is me” insead of enjoying my sister’s day.
I think you’re right the less we stress about things and situations the easier it becomes to get through them and get what we want. I’m so going to start thinking more positive about myself and situations.
^honestly seems like we chose to focus on the wrong things.
when I really thought about it,
I was like:
“wow it’s actually real simple”
when it comes to things I know I can get,
i am confident about it.
when it comes to wolves or my career,
i feel a lack like I’m not good enough.
it’s time to try a switcharoo.
you ever notice that you will see a fine wolf and a vixen is clueless to him?
she is so use to meeting wolves that he comes a dime a dozen.
to a lack based mind,
he is enhanced.