The Divorce That Broke The Internet (Sorry Kim)

how-she-stole-himit’s funny how things end up working.
i remember when this whole “brad/angie/jen” scandal started.
it was right around the time “mr and mrs smith” came out.
angelina jolie saw brad pitt,
who was married to jennifer aniston at the time,
and fucked his entire brains and common sense out his head.
giphy-1…or vice versa?
they probably fucked each other’s brains out until they couldn’t anymore.
he was allegedly fuckin her so good in africa,
around the time when they first started creepin’,

the guards thought she was getting killed.
well jennifer was pretty much humiliated during the whole situation.
she was either…

the victim
the tail end of many jokes

that was 12 years ago.
since then,
jennifer aniston is married and moved on with her life.
i’m sure she felt some kind of way during those years tho.
she watched her ex husband “win” with the mistress.
for anyone who has been on the outside,
watching those who do us wrong “win” and being cheered on,
it can feel like torture of some kind.
pick one.
it all feels like tears and a prescription for zofran.

jennifer-aniston-crying-02d6f7b9-69a2-41a6-bf38-7af6a2427121well,
i’m sure you heard,
but the “mistress turned wife” is now leaving the husband.
reason: the cubs.
angelina claims she didn’t like how brad was around them.

drug use
anger

the words being thrown around to paint him to be this bad parent.
how in 12 years you now realize he wasn’t good with cubs?
did we not do a proper “screening process”?
the crazy part is,
he is experiencing a smear campaign jennifer experienced.
he left jennifer because he wanted cubs and she didn’t,
but now you’re getting divorced because of cubs with someone who did.

irony?

tumblr_inline_nktfixcqvd1rrrkdesome call it “karma”.
others call it “how you get em is how you lose em”.
i call it:

A FEW LIFE LESSONS:

 the grass is not always greener on the other side.
they are only just good enough to fuck (that one time)
lust will make someone “the one”…
until you’re out the bed and gotta get to know them
upgrading from “side” to “full time” isn’t really worth it
getting married after dating for so long can be the kiss of death

“until you do right by me, everything you even think about gonna fail!”

giphyafter “by the sea” bombed,
and the many public appearances looking like they couldn’t stand each other,
this was bound to happen.
honestly.
truly.
i thought they would have at least played it off,
allowed each other to fuck other randoms and co stars,
and slept in different beds until old age.
as soon as they see cameras,
just act like the are a happy couple with the rainbow coalition cubs.
something BIG happened that isn’t being said.
yet.
she wants full custody.
even tho i like angelina and brad,
it is what it is.
it isn’t too hard to tell that they got what was coming to them.
this is about to be a shit storm tho.
no one plays media games like angelina jolie.
standoffstay tuned for the mess.

lowkey: so i guess this means no “mr and mrs smith 2”?

15 thoughts on “The Divorce That Broke The Internet (Sorry Kim)

  1. I was shocked and a little disappointed when I heard the news. I had such amazing hopes for them and their beautiful 6 children. But I guess it is what it is…team Jolie all the way too!

  2. I was saddened to hear this news I’ve kind of always look at them and thought that their love for each other would overcome things like this but hey they’re only human. Sometimes you can see certain sides of people that you didn’t see before or that never came out before until a certain situation arises or plain and simple you can just fall out of love with somebody.

    1. ^i love this mikey!!!!
      good breakdown.
      this is why some don’t want to put up really good lookin animals.
      they only see the pictures and the fantasy.
      this good looking animal shows an emotion and is dumped with the quickness.

      imagine what the attentionisto must face???

  3. I believe Brad did something to one of the kids while he was under the influence.I mean something like physical discipline which Angie doesn’t approve of.I am predicting an announcement of rehab for alcoholism and weed .I haven’t read this anywhere,it’s just a feeling I have.I don’t believe a third party caused this because to be perfectly honest I don’t think cheating would be a deal breaker.I have a feeling in time this divorce petition will be withdrawn,that this is a wake up call.If the divorce isn’t withdrawn It will be sad because divorce is awful for kids.

    As for Aniston her fans need to stay quiet since her current husband hooked up with her while he was living with his girlfriend of 14 years,Heidi Bivens.So don’t say sh## about Karma before it slaps her upside the head.

    BTW I don’t really believe in Karma because I have seen too many great people suffer and too many assholes like Trump succeed.

  4. That’s all distraction. How this more important than Terence Crutcher? media and their priorities kill me. Aww a rich white woman divorcing a rich white man… they will all be still rich and still fine with their white privilege. It’s sickening that people are more shocked by that divorce than the murder of a black man who call the police for help. I mean that’s just too much. kate upton who voiced her “opinion” and protesting on the 9/11 is on mute now. Anyway. Another black person, another hashtag.

    1. I agree Susan Sarandon made a post asking CNN why this Hollywood divorce is taking priority over Terence Crutcher’s murder.And D.L Hugely asked why all the players who criticized Colin Kaepernick are silent now.

    2. #KKKate is receiving a lashing as we speak. And she deserves every last bit of it. Sick of these people who are so worried about folks not pledging allegiance to a damn FLAG but yet ignore the very same reason WHY they are doing it. A man was killed COLD BLOODED which was caught on footage. FOUR cops couldn’t tackle an unarmed man? I’m so sick of this shit!!!

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