there are two kinds of attractive straight wolves:

Option 1 – He was taught at a young age that his power is to get pussy off his looks,
but because he was also taught he’ll get bent over and graped in an alley by the “Big Bubba” character,
his homophobia is his calling card with gays.
These types come off closed off,
mean,
and can’t network for shit unless it’s with other straights.
They end up fucking up networks and reputations due to this issue.

Option 2 – He is charming and charismatic with everyone he meets,
including gay males.
He has been trained to subtly flirt with everyone he meets.
This type knows how to play the game,
doesn’t care if people think he is gay because he gets pussy regardless,
and doesn’t let gay rumors activate homophobia.
He’ll admit he has great gay friends in his life.
He is so cool and confident,
it makes everyone comfortable around him.

option 2 is the impression i get of brad pitt tbh.
those types are unicorns because they’re fine and have hella aura.
brad knows he’s attractive and learned to use it to his advantage.
it has probably made many gays fall in love/lust with him,
and i’m sure they have tried to ride him,
but he may have had to turn down their requests without hurting feelings.
you know many gays are very sensitive when they want to be fucked.
he was on dax shepard‘s podcast and was asked about gay experiences…

speaking of severe mental health issues…
so are we still pretending britney is just “voicing her thoughts“?
okay,
i’ll continue to play along.
so britney has deleted her instagram again and had her army scared again.

‼️ Britney Spears deactivated her Instagram ‼️

i got scared, i thought she blocked me LOLLLL ???????? pic.twitter.com/GcBrgk1taK

— Britney Spears Updates (@updatingspears) June 8, 2023

this time,
she posted something bizarre again and…

Continue reading “oops! britney did something weird on IG again” →

one of my favorite movies is “mr and mrs smith“.
you can feel the “we’re fuckin each other good” from brad pitt and angelina jolie.
so the day it was revealed that they got together,
i already knew what time it was.
honestly,
i felt sad for jennifer aniston during that debacle.
rachel green from “friends” has always been cool with me.
it’s crazy how people dragged a wife for getting cheated on and left.
after years of getting dogged out by brad and angelina,
karma finally struck in 2018 when they both got a divorce.
jenn held her head up high and kept doing her.
well i guess she has a forgiving spirit because at the sag awards…

Continue reading “the day the internet crashed because two exes had googly eyes at an award show” →

it’s funny how things end up working.
i remember when this whole “brad/angie/jen” scandal started.
it was right around the time “mr and mrs smith” came out.
angelina jolie saw brad pitt,
who was married to jennifer aniston at the time,
and fucked his entire brains and common sense out his head.
…or vice versa?
they probably fucked each other’s brains out until they couldn’t anymore.
he was allegedly fuckin her so good in africa,
around the time when they first started creepin’,
the guards thought she was getting killed.
well jennifer was pretty much humiliated during the whole situation.
she was either…

Continue reading “The Divorce That Broke The Internet (Sorry Kim)” →

so everyone knows i love angelina jolie.
she is definitely one of my main contenders for “spirit animal”.
well she finally got married to super wolf brad pitt,
and i’m so happy for her and all,
but what the hell is this below?…
Continue reading “What Diet Is Angelina Jolie On?” →

listen im about to be all the real honest.
you know i don’t give a damn.
ever since i was a teenager,
ive wanted to sleep with brad pitt.
he sealed my attraction to him in “oceans 11” and “mr. and mrs. smith”.
he is vintage white penis.
anyway even though angie j has sucked the life out him,
i’m sure literally,
he has taken an eye to my lupita nyong’o.
so much so he wants to mentor her career.
uh oh?…
Continue reading “Would You Let This Man Be Your Mentor?” →