I Hope You Will Stick Around After You Pull Out…

tumblr_mp4bznZ5tf1qjm9bpo1_500“come here baby.
aww look at you.
you know you bring joy into my life?
yup, you.
i thought i would be alone forever,
but you made me see otherwise.
you take care of me.
you protect me.
you love me.
i know.
i know baby.
your kisses are so wet!
hold on…
let me put some food in your bowl.
who is daddy good boy?”

moka-happy-dog3that’s your story.
couple years from now.
talking to your only companion in this world.
your dog.
somewhere along the line,
you gave up on the hope of finding someone.
you became bitter and sad.
you were either too picky,
too hoish,
too stuck up,
too negative,
too angry,
too annoying,
too crazy,
…too something.
it has left you sitting there,
getting ready to watch another reality show,
with something that sits and barks on command.
proud of yourself?
are you satisfied with that?
have you come to the conclusion that would be your future?
or does that make you want to vomit?
i had to ask,
when you look at your life now..

Do you think you will die alone?

i think i might be an idiot.
i have this crazy notion that i will find someone.
even though i’m not sitting on some sex site,
twiddling my thumbs for the next big dick to bone me.
i have this insane feeling that i will find my wolf.
he’s out there!
he is out there somewhere!
he maybe thinking about getting up at this very moment,
to walk to the bodega,
where I’m planning on going after i post this.
we will bump into each other,
i will look at him crazy,
but we will lock eyes.
somehow one of us will have the balls to get the #.

it could happen.
no i haven’t gone crazy.

i don’t want to sit with the feeling i will be alone forever.
that is absolutely scary.
i also don’t want to feel i have to hoe myself out for it.
ive had enough pipe to know i want more than a nut.
that’s crazy.
why should i speak down to myself?
i stay optimistic i will find a good paying employment,
own a closet full of “expensive”,
racks on racks in my accounts,
and take this site to higher heights.
even though i’m unemployed,
my clothes are on struggle,
my money is funny as hell,
and my site is just “here” at the moment.
why can’t i hold on to hope someone is out there too?
and i won’t have to put wear and tear on my butt cheeks to find him?

some have turned all the way on,
  have it turned off until further notice,
or the shit just broke and you too lazy to fix it.
i often wonder if it’s crazy to know you will find someone,
even if you aren’t actively pursuing it?
i notice when i chase a wolf,
he runs.
when i’m nonchalant,
he stays.
i guess i get excited and click my louie loafers too soon.
especially when he is fine as hell and exactly my type.
don’t act like you don’t.
maybe i’m just weird,
or delusional,
but i have to hold on.
so i had to wonder when it comes to you…

The eternal optimist or idiot?

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

10 thoughts on “I Hope You Will Stick Around After You Pull Out…”

  1. They can be, but different strokes for different folks.

    I prefer to stay firmly rooted in reality. I feel like probability and statistics are more tangible and reliable.

  2. Honestly, no, I did when I was a child but adulthood killed that. Shit gets real when the bills come in.

    I think fantasies and dreams/aspirations are two different thing. You can make your dreams or aspirations come true if you take the proper initiatives. Fantasies seem more outlandish and unattainable.

  3. I wrote about something very similar to this, Jamari. I’d say stay attached to reality, but at the same time it’s perfectly okay to gaze in a dream of future possibilities.

    The question is: what are you doing to bring this optimism into affect? Or are you just hoping it happens along with life?

    1. ^i go about my life as usual,
      but i believe in staying positive and just holding onto things being better.
      walking out the door with the belief of meet someone.
      being open to the possibilities,
      rather than chasing men online.

  4. I really don’t have fantasies, I have dreams and goals. I try not to strive for things that are impossible. I take things for what it is, and go as far as I can to be the best I can be and get certain things I know I can have. Like Jay said, when you reach adulthood you come to terms with reality.

  5. This is a great post, and the short period of time I have been here been going through your archives, you seem very personable and real as a person. I have visited other blogs and a lot of the owners seem fake and come off as if they are better than people. I don’t get that from you in regards to your posts and how personable you seem to be in them and the way you write them. What steps are you taking in regards to looking for employment and what field(s). I have great advice and methods that works when a person is seeking a job, especially in this bad economy.

    1. ^well thank you dee.
      i’m not good at being fake lol
      when i threw my hat into the blogging ring,
      i wanted to bring myself to this arena.
      no other way.

      well i updated my resume and sending it out.
      new york’s economy is so crazy right now.
      everyone is chasing the same thing.
      those who have good degrees are downgrading themselves.
      its bad in the streets.
      what advice do you suggest?
      i would love to hear suggestions and i’m sure my readers who are also looking may need some advice as well…

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