First and foremost I just want to let you know that I love your daily blogs. They’re on my top 5 “do to” lists whenever I decide to log on my laptop every morning. It’s nice to have a little haven where we can all relate in some way as black men in the LGBT community.
This is going to be a bit of a ride so buckled up..
Now here is the thing.. I am a 19 year old student and I currently live with my parents. They know I’m gay since I came out to them a year ago but they weren’t too pleased about it (duh) so ever since that day they pretty much brushed it under the rug and never spoke about it ever since. My father took it better than my mother, he thinks it’s a phase and my mother just walked out the room when I came out because she couldn’t take it. Nothing bad happened though, no insults/beatings etc. They just couldn’t wrap their heads around it so it got awkward. My brothers & sister took it well though. Needless to say I feel lost when it comes to having guidance being a black gay man. I feel like had I had a mentor or advice given to me while I was dealing with this then I wouldn’t have made a lot of the mistakes that I’ve made. Especially in my mid-teens.
Anyways, my supervisor at my retail job decided to end my contract a few days before Christmas so as you know I was really beat up about it. Needless to say a modelling agent who scouted me weeks before that just informed me that I got signed to my current modelling agency. However after a month in, I still haven’t gotten any talks about payments for the work that I did so I feel like I was sold a dream. So I don’t have much faith in it anymore..
So here comes to juicy part, I signed up to this site for Sugar Daddies/Babies called “Seeking Arrangement” all out of boredom and curiosity. I am 6’3, bronze complexion, have an athletic build & have a really chiseled bone structure. Now a couple guys have hit me up, and one guy who flew in my city yesterday to visit for business wants me to go on a date with him tomorrow. He let me know that as a part of our arrangement that physical intimacy will definitely have to happen at some point if I want to keep this arrangement going. This guy has a networth of more than $620,000. His profile stated that his networth was $6 mill. I’ll take that with a grain of salt though. He is average looking and he really wants to spoil me.
Here is the issue, I haven’t been paid in a while and I am in real need of quick money. I’m tired of asking my parents for money when I know they have to provide for my siblings too. I have needs. But there is a side of me that feels so grim for even going along with this. I feel like I was blessed with a life where I don’t need to do it and I feel lowkey immoral for it too. I was damn near depressed in class all day today thinking about it. I feel like I’ll be scarred for life if I have sex for money. Because that pretty much what having a Sugar Daddy is all about. But in the other side of my mind I was thinking about all the money that I could get.. I’m just so torn at the moment.
Any insight? Please
i want to thank you for the compliment.
i’m so glad the foxhole has helped so many.
even on days i’m at my lowest,
i know i can come here and have the feeling of family.
again: thank you for all your positive energy!
i’m sorry to hear you lost your job.
been there many times before.
i’m also sorry the modelling gig didn’t work out.
if it isn’t a top modelling agency,
like wilhelmina or ford,
i would pretty expect fuckery.
some agencies like to prey on the young and naive as well.
always do your research before you sign on the dotted lines.
so the age ol dilemma of:
“doing something strange for a little piece of change”
its one that many of us struggle with.
aaaah who am i kidding?
a majority of these animals out here fuckin’ for free.
i remember the time a semi famous animal wanted a piece of me.
he was sexy,
and from what i felt,
the pipe was kinda right.
i was like 21 or so,
and still a newbie in the gay forest.
he took me on a few dates and things were pretty solid.
he said he would help make me a star if i spent the night with him.
“one night with this wolf,
let him bang me out a few times,
and all my dreams come true?
i struggled with the same thoughts as well.
needless to say,
when i finally decided to do it after being pressured,
he showed his ass and proved that if i let him get some,
i probably would not have been a “star”.
he probably just used that line to try and get me in bed.
my wallet was dry AF until i found another wolf to take me out.
life is a risk.
you either try things or you sit them out.
no one can force you to make a decision,
but always remember,
there is a good and bad to everything.
the problem with this sugar daddy is he isn’t letting it come naturally.
like the his conquests of social media past,
he is giving you an ultimatum.
in other words:
he is treating you like a whore
have the money on the dresser after you wipe them off.
i sense you have some kind of morals.
if you tell me you were “depressed”,
then i know this is not for you.
i can’t tell you what to do,
but if i’ve learned anything in life,
a) go with the flow when it comes to wolves and money
b) do what makes you comfortable; people can tell when your heart isn’t in something
if you aren’t comfortable with that arrangement,
it will transcend all in your body language.
the sex will also be terrible and he will drop you like a bad habit.
your wallet will be dry AF and you will feel used.
if you do go through with it,
you may have to call the shots.
just because you have nothing to offer doesn’t mean you don’t have cards.
you have the hole he wants to penetrate,
or the pipe he wants to get penetrated with,
find out what he wants,
who he really is,
and make sure he lives up to his end of the bargain.
silly animals fuck first and ask questions later
you aren’t silly.
i would also get your resume out there still.
it’s always good when you have your own.
when a wolf of status knows you have to depend on him,
you will become “cassie”.
you don’t want to be “cassie”.
you want to walk away like its nothing.
“cassie” will get dumped for “jlo” with no questions asked.
…oh and would i do it?
i just have a few conditions if i’m going to play “the whore”.
i hope this helped you in some way.
i have so many who read my site,
i’m sure someone will offer a life gem for you!
keep me updated and good luck!
sending positive vibrations your way!
lowkey: someone get one of the attentionistos up on here.
they sold their souls and can offer some great advice!
need advice: CONTACT