f0xmail: My Fiance Admitted He Was Gay For Pay. Ain’t He As Good As Gay?

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Jamari, I found this question intriguing by some female. She’s been confused and asking questions. I am curious to see what your readers have to say:

*Vivian:
I am engaged to this guy who confessed to me just last week that he has had gay sex in the past. He actually confessed after someone else told me about it. He said he did it for money and not because he’s gay. He said his former boss was into men and lured him to have sex with him and after a few romps, gave up on gay sex. He says he’s 100% heterosexual but I can’t get over the fact that he once let a man sleep with him. He said he was tempted by money but I don’t believe any straight man would have gay sex for any reason. I don’t know how to feel about this. These days whenever I see him talking to a guy, I start to imagine them having sex. A man who has had gay sex is gay, right?


MY THOUGHTS…

good question!!!!!!!!
bad enough it’s her fiance,
but he still should get brownie points for being honest.
in a vixen’s eyes,
he would still be considered gay.
no if,
ands,
or butt cheeks about it.
but in my eyes,
he would be bi (or bi-curious).
straight wolves,
in no way or form,
are attracted to another wolf.
the thought of him being with another wolf is nasty.
when you are in a sexual situation with someone,
you have to be aroused.
you can’t just bend over/bang out someone successfully with/feelin:

deflated-balloonyou ever watch f0xxx with a wolf in a gay scene and he isn’t into it?
he is trying his best to make it work,
but it broke?

x see a perfect example

x another NSFW example

the attraction has to come from somewhere.
maybe the money is the motivation so they force themselves?
how many straight male celebs did the casting couch to get somewhere?

we were just speaking about it in this comment section.
they don’t say “money is the root of all evil” for nothing.
the ironic thing is that straight wolves can get throat from a fox,
be perfectly hard,
and still be 100% straight.
does a mouth not see any gender?
is actual penetration is a different story?
hmm.
i would like to hear some thoughts on this.
i know its friday,
but this is very interesting subject matter.

Can you be gay for pay and still straight?

T9Yqxlowkey: here is a good question to think about:

can the foxhole members,
who are 100% gay,
have sex with a vixen for money?

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

118 thoughts on “f0xmail: My Fiance Admitted He Was Gay For Pay. Ain’t He As Good As Gay?

  1. Hi everyone. I am a straight black vixen (hehe) who has been lurking on this site for a while. I actually found the site because it was posted on a message board. Great stuff here, but I had to come out of lurking to say that if my fiancé ever told me he had sex for money, he wouldn’t be my fiancé anymore. Men who have sex for men are gay. Sure he didn’t like it then, but what happens when he sees some later he is attracted too? Then my ass has HIV? No ma’am. No sir.

  2. Can I be honest? Any guy who TOPS can be gay for pay and go back to pussy. When you BOTTOM, that is when you are fully gay in my book.

    1. ^hmm.
      interesting theory.
      i feel when a man gets his ass penetrated,
      and he cums from it,
      you have already left straight town.

      so another question: the wolves who like tongues and fingers in their ass cheeks,
      what do we say about them?

      1. So is this why us TOPS so scared to give up the ass? We know once a dick slide up there we bending over on command? ? I got a fat ass for a top and niggas stay disrespecting.

      2. Nooo lol. I’m saying that if a supposedly straight dude gives up the ass then it’s over. He can’t have an excuse for doing it, even for money.

        If you got a fat ass, you better expect to get hassled tho. That’s life lol. *shrugs*

    2. Totally disagree. What about the straight men that love anal play from women with strap ons? Does that make them gay, too? A man doing anything anal is always labeled homosexual. He can be fully aware of his sexuality and that he is having sex with a woman who has a vagina. If we’re saying anal sex is only limited to gays, straight people should stop having oral sex because gays suck a lot of dick and balls. They might as well stop doing doggy style too. Gay sex is always portrayed [in the media] from the back. People are always so hung up on labels and quick to slap one on someone who has a past they don’t agree with or understand. Sexuality is fluid.

    3. U sound gay to me. Any guy giving it to another guy and or taking it is gay on some level point blank period. U sound like you’ve only topped before n still consider yourself straight. Yuck. If ur straight why r u messin wit a dude on any level in d first place?»

  3. You never know what someone is going through to stoop to that level of desperation to do something strange for a little piece of change. I remember my ex boyfriend went thru craiglist n contacted someone to give head and maybe something else for a grand, which I never knew until the end of my relationship. I do agree once you bottom its HARD to come back from that in anyones eyes, but to declare someone fully gay because of something they did out of desperation for money is jumping the gun.

      1. He wasn’t Bi but at that point some people react differently to financial pressure. I remember when I was in that position n someone offered be money monthly for him n his wife 6-7k with monthly flights to ATL. When I was at a low point n lost my job. Not all am I into women or turned on by them BUT that could have solved my problems hella much, paid for my school with no loans etc. Now would u call a girl a lesbian? Or bi curious? Or simply money hungry to do anything for it?

        1. ^i think its easier for vixen to jump in and out of sexuality.
          for some reason they can turn it on and off easier.
          reading these comments make me wonder if its harder to “gay for pay” if the person is a beast in the body and face?
          or do you really just close your eyes and think about the money?

      2. Well think of all the gay porn you have seen, and how some of them don’t even have hard-ons…or the ones where its really silent and you hear straight porn faintly playing in the background…Castro is a prime example of that…not face wise but back in the day from the neck down…ME personally, my ass will close my eyes and slip into fantasy land if necessary with guys I am with that can’t hit it right. Now I can only imagine if someone was cutting my monthly checks thats 7k with no taxes taken out…SHYT…

        1. ^that is a really good point.

          xtube and rude has videos of straight wolves who didn’t know they were being taped,
          yet straight porn is clearly playing in the background.
          so then my question is why even fuck a dude if you gotta have straight porn playing just to keep hard?

      3. And thats when I say it comes down to money, not everyone has skills, or believes in themselves that they can work a regular 9-5 job and work under someone. Some people just don’t like doing things the normal, less stressful, less difficult way. Some do porn to charge a higher fee as strippers like Mr. XL….and it all comes back to money. It takes certain woman who are less judgmental and can possibly understand the struggle cuz they’ve been there to be ok with it. But in the BLACK community thats few and far in-between.

  4. It’s a situation where you have to keep a close eye on him. The key is his former boss believe it or not. Was his boss fine? If he looked like Idris Elba or someone like that then that dude is lying and needs to be called out.

    1. His boss being “fine” has anything to do with it? If he’s straight is he supposed to see a guy as ‘fine”?

  5. How can a woman really look at a man as a man, the provider and aggressor, once she knows he has had sex with another man?

    1. Think you are being naive on the nature of animals. Google the Kinsey scale. I’m a big believer in it. Just depends in where your man falls on that sale. Your man could be a 1 or 2 on that scale and still hold u down

      1. Why are ppl obsessed wit referencing Kinsey who was a pedophile and used excons as subjects in his homosexual research….and was focused on brainwashing d masses via gay and deviant propaganda which included bias, heavily skewed and immoral research methods. He wasnt a good person yet gays always want to use him to back their claims on dat dayum scale. Who d f cares. If ur gay ur gay i dony care where on a dayum scale u fall.

    2. The same way a man can overlook a woman’s promiscuous past and make her his wife and the mother of his children. Gay sex doesn’t make a man weak, nor does it automatically give him HIV. If she can look past stereotypes and prejudices and actually listen to his explanation then it’s possible to still believe that he is straight.

      1. ^everyone is showing out in this comment box.
        i want more!!!!
        lol

        i feel in a perfect world,
        we want women to accept it.
        realistically they won’t.
        it takes a special kind of vixen.
        fag hags maybe?

      2. I think people are more accepting then we give them credit for. However I think that the level of tolerance most people have
        (Esp when it has to do with homosexuality) is dependent on societal norms and expectations, and not necessarily based on logic and facts.

        We like to let our bias and prejudice influence our opinion on things because actually THINKING about it takes too much work.

      3. Well i personally wouldnt make a former or recent man ho my husband. U wrote dat statement like men arent huge wh**es themselves and many women overlook dat n allow them to b their husbands. I have standards and my own mind and dont just accept everythng and anythng other ppl feel shud be accepted. Thats d problem wit d world dese days. It seems dat a lot of ppl accept and r into everythng n anythng these days. I dont have to accept dating a gay man or a man dat has messed wit men before. I just find it unappealing bevause i find it unappealing not because societies influences.

  6. Been lurking as well. Bi male. Has anyone ever heard of “milking” the prostate? Women and men can enjoy this to achieve bigger an stronger orgasm. My view is you cud enjoy having something in your ass to help u blow bigger but not actually be attracted to men.

  7. Coming out of lurking as well. Believe it or not, there are a lot of men who are straight and have been fcked by directors, talent agents, and others in higher positions and straight. How do I know? I have and been lead and supporting on a couple shows.

    1. They all can’t be straight. Some of them had to be turned out. If 10 straight men were fucked, I believe at least 2 would like it and try it again on the low.

    2. Exactly. A large number has to be curious, bicurious etc. The thing is not even money will make you do that. If you find something vile, you won’t even do it for money. My thinking is if it is something that resides deep within then of course money will be a good excuse. Just like how girls “blame it on the alcohol” . The question is, does anyone label his sexuality now?

    3. Still maked them gay n even if i wasnt thnking bout sexuality i wouldnt date anyonr like dat bcus dey lack morals n will prob disgustingly sell their souls for anythng since theyve already done it before.

  8. Hi Robert. I am familiar with the Kinsey scale but the issue is he will want a penis again. This is why there is so much down low behavior. They get a sample of that milking the prostate and you know women don’t do that. You say you are bi but do you tell your women about your past and sexual expectations?

    1. I would if I thought they could handle it. I can love you and love getting my prostate milked. U shud be concerned that I cheat period. Whether new pussy or dick. I could crave either. As long as I don’t cheat she shud be fine

      1. Speaking from a woman’s perspective, I’d be bothered to know my man has been bent over getting dick like he do me. But I feel more comfortable knowing he was the top. no offense I had to comment

      2. Damn it’s a lot of women in here. Never would have guessed. Since you say that you would feel more comfortable knowing he topped, would you worry about him creeping out on you to get up in a man’s ass? Women have assholes, but it’s not the same. The DL men up in here will agree. Right guys?

      3. Robert so you are keep it a secret as long as you aren’t cheating? Is your role with men only to be bent over, or do you actually date these men?

      4. When I’m with a chick, I’m thinking about beatin down her coochie. When I’m with a man, it’s all about power. Women are supposed to submit. Men it’s exciting and dangerous.

    2. He gave up the ass? You left that out lol. I forgot his earlier, but it’s no way a straight dude is gonna clean his ass out to have sex. That may be too much information for you to handle as a woman but it had to be said lol. It’s premeditated. Diet even comes into play. Think about it for a second guys.

      1. Son you make a good point. An ass isn’t a pussy and most straight dudes don’t know the first thing about a real clean ass.

      2. Not to mention diet. Dude needs at least a day to prepare. If a dude ate a burrito for lunch, cleaning out to have sex that night doesn’t do a damn thing. It may get messy. A lot of shit(no pun) comes in to play when you think about it.

      3. Nobody preps for shit like that except super bottoms. The fuck. I don’t like overly sissies that clean, shave all up and look all excessively primed up. Ugh.. that is faggotry to me

    3. I don’t tell women cause I’m not going to step out on them. If I’m with a woman, that’s where my mind and heart is. However, all men aren’t that way. Most want both at the same damn time. Jamari has posted many stories about men who want their cake and want to eat it to.

      1. You DL nasty men r d reason im going to just stop dating men period n join d nunnery. Yall r gross n deceptive.

  9. This is such a good topic…it’s bringing all the lurkers out of hiding…congrats JF…i thought i had a clear ans but after reading J’s response & the comments I don’t think there’s one answer. I think anyone can get blown if they close their eyes & dream it’s ur fantasy mouth on ur dick. Penetration is diff. I would have said u have to be gay to take penetration but men get raped & it don’t make them gay…so I guess if u desperate for the cash or job u could force urself to do it. At sum point it’s up to her whether she wants to believe him. Like any relationship either u trust or u don’t

    1. FYI regards to the comment about trying it later. Some men get raped in prison and don’t ever come back to anal sex, some do and get turned OUT. I mean former players turned bitches. So who was gay from the start?

    1. Deborah I give and receive. I’m about pleasure and I enjoy it all. Just love sex. Wet pussy, tight ass, good dick, soft breasts…I tell dudes I’m bi and don’t tell chicks shit cuz then I’m unlikely to get the pussy

      1. Robert so essentially you are lying to women for sex? I’m curious because this is the most I’ve interacted with DL men. Will you getting married and will you still have sex with men?

  10. Can you picture rappers like Jay Z, The Game, or Waka in the doggy style position getting banged out for advancement being straight men? How would that even work?

    1. I want kids someday so yes prob will. But I’m faithful when in a relationship so I’m not worried about telling about my past

    2. I don’t know, the industry is funny. A lot of those dudes get down anyway, or at least are curious. A lot of men in our society like that. You never know who is gay. When they see someone who is fine that not gay shit goes out the window. I was that way before I realized I liked dudes. Guys like Trey Songz would make me feel some type of way.

  11. What is comes down to in our society, Only a girl can be bisexual in societal terms, but once a guy “bends over” for a another guy he’s labeled as Gay in our society even if he’s into women as well. Its a double standard that not everyone has the mind set to try to or want to understand.

    1. The bible teaches us otherwise. Can you all honestly sit here and not see why women would not think this is normal behavior?

      1. The Bible has nothing to do with the double standard. If you can’t accept that your man used to have sex with men (For pay), that’s fine. But you look like a hypocrite if you excuse the behavior of a man that cheats on you with women, or has had a promiscuous past with women. Those men bring home HIV and well as many other STIs as well.

        So if that’s what you’re afraid of, then you should hold ALL men accountable. If you simply think that gay sex is icky and gross and that’s why it’s not “normal” then admit that.

      2. The bible was written by mankind and originally passed down thru stories to individuals which has been subjected to be influenced. The bible tells you one minute to basically love one another and treat equally then the next to killing and stoning and women as secondary sometimes to even be seen and not heard. Normal behavior is what YOU deem ok in your life.

      3. For ATLAnonymous point of the cheating yet judging gay sex

        “Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.”

        Matthew 7:1-5 (Since we’re bring up the bible….)

      4. It is icky and gross. Not in the judgmental way but the I don’t understand way. Knowing my man had a penis in his ass is not really comforting thought.

      5. Well since your deeming a sexual act icky and gross then I’m going to assume you’ve never tried anal sex as a female, which some find to be very pleasurable. To me that is a judgement…as well as ur opinion which your entitled to.

      6. It is normal with the opposite sex. A man and a woman are supposed to do that. How can I sleep at night knowing my man has been in my position? Paid or not it’s weird and he is still gay.

      1. As a straight woman, you are okay knowing your man was penetrated? Are you thinking about gay men who are cute and divas? They all don’t look like that girl.

      2. Yes I do know that. I have gay friends that most women hit on daily. If that was his life before me it is what it is. You can’t change what someone has done in their past, it’s your choice to accept it or not. But if I’m going to judge someone who experimented n chose that it wasn’t for them, who am I to judge if they’re telling me the truth if not?

      3. The mail clearly stated he did it a few times. If you do something once and don’t like it, that is enough. He participated willingly and then didn’t like it? But wants to get married? She needs to run.

      4. No that’s not how anything works, especially when money is involved. Like I said previously, no one knows what mind frame of desperation anyone is in when money comes into play. Last time I checked coerced by money isn’t willingly. Your view defers from mine and it is what it is. To pass up on the opportunity for someone who was probably a good man and didnt have an idea that his past was that way since she accepted him proposal, its on her to accept it and move past it or not.

  12. Lurker but this subject matter intrigued me to leave a comment. Coming from a gay man, I can see why women don’t like it. Just like some bottoms don’t like their man getting fucked, some tops will not bottom ever, and with lesbians, they don’t mess with bisexual women. It’s all in the fantasy and when a female gets with a man, he is masculine and essentially the provider, she don’t want to know her man been getting dug out. Would a woman really want to know her man was moaning like she do because of some bomb dick? She will see a tops as more acceptable because he is using his dick. Just my thoughts but great discussion. Literally refreshing my browser for updates.

    1. Let’s not get started on the bible and all of its contradictions. I would venture to say you cherry pick the things you choose to follow and when broken say a prayer and get a clean slate. No panacea out there. So hopefully you’re not looking for one.

      1. Robert Is that a bad thing? The bible, the many diseases being passed around, and the emasculation of black men has many women confused. Can you seriously blame us? Men are very selfish and don’t think about how their actions effect the pussy as you call it in your lives.

      2. Deborah at what point will you hold women accountable for the diseases they get? If they choose not protect themselves EVEN when they’re in a relationship, then they have to accept the risks. Men and women lie, whether straight or gay. There are risks to unprotected sex, that’s the bottom line. Also, it’s offensive for you to keep suggesting that Gay men are the sole bearers of the diseases out there. Straight men bring home disease as well.

        You should really consider reading academic papers and books that unpack the stereotypes and myths associated with homosexuality, because I fear you are committed to them.

        If the Bible is so important to you then you should find someone who has/will abstain from sex until they marry you. And you should abstain from sex until you’re married as well. Then you won’t have to worry about any of this. 🙂

      3. ATL Annoymous more than likely you are a gay male. If your man commited to you in a relationship use to have sex with women, says he doesn’t do it anymore, but goes and has sex with women, and actually likes it for pay, you would not be upset? What I’m saying is as a woman, who only dates straight men, imaging the shock she would feel knowing he had a penis in his ass for a paycheck.

      4. I’m not saying you’re not allowed to be shocked. However, you do seem to be obsessing over the fact that he had a “penis in his ass.” I’m saying that just because he has done this does not make him gay, especially if he did it for money. I would ENTHUSIASTICALLY perform cunnilingus on a woman if the price was right. Money makes people do things they normally wouldn’t do. Also, the letter does not mention that he “enjoyed” the act. Nor does it tell us whether he was on top or bottom.

    2. The thing is if these women knew the men they lust on and how the MAJORITY of them are indeed getting down with dick/ass I’m sure their opinions will change. The Kerry Rhodes, The Very popular guy in class who is FUCKING all the GIRLS (and still fucks with boys and has that one hood boy who is fucking HIM OUT) , etc. Women just sometimes think so simple I often have pity for them. It’s ridiculous, if you play by certain rules, you own them. Talk tough, look tough, act like you like all things tough (football etc), comment on women’s ass, comment on hers and boom they fall for it. But with guys you can tell who’s low key a diva in fitted hat, etc.. Idk i think women just DON’T want to see it, because ALL the signs are usually there.

    3. Oh and FYI for the females more than 90% of these “models” and IG whores you see GET DOWN. You (females) just make a stronger louder fan base. Sorry to burst your bubble

  13. I am use to gay men being feminine. Now they are looking like men. Masculine and doing what men do. It is a huge culture shock for me and many others.

    1. Whoa Deborah. All gay men are not fem. It has been that way since the beginning of time. Gay men come in masculine form.

      1. Gay men have a look. You knew they were gay by actions or the little things they did. DL men are the only ones who remain true to their masculine form. This site has been a huge culture shock because my gay friend is as feminine and as fabulous as ever. The men he sleeps with look like men. No sign of gay. That bothers me.

      2. That “look” is a stereotype of how people think gay men look. Discreet men such as myself stay true to themselves too. Just so you know DL can be the biggest queens also. They are men who fake their masculinity.

    2. Ha ma, you’re about to be in for a bumpy ride….

      Would you believe the following are gay? (See if you can guess what positions they prefer) These are not even the “downlow” ones… Oh and see if you can spot the brothers. 😉 good luck

      https://insidejamarifox.com/scott-vs-could-that-thing-even-fit-in-my-mouth/

      http://postimg.org/image/jrw20x8nh/

      http://alturl.com/vy3r3

      http://alturl.com/krytq

      http://postimg.org/gallery/c4n5lohq/

      http://data.whicdn.com/images/23043297/tumblr_lz0m0qvQmd1qhtl29o1_500_large.jpg

      http://postimg.org/image/jsy719w3x/
      http://postimg.org/image/j9ee7qh3h/ (b

      http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lg2e8ktlk91qbfgubo1_500.jpg

      http://postimg.org/gallery/1si6rh00/

      Hope I cleared you of any reservoir “looks” thought you had in your head

  14. Engaging in anal sex does not make you Gay anymore than engaging in vaginal sex makes you straight.I have anally stimulated a few guys ,one with a strap on ,they are not Gay
    because they are not physically attracted to Men.One guy refused to be fingered he was on DL now he’s openly Gay and just got engaged to a Guy.
    There are thousands of guys in prison having gay sex who are not gay.They are horny.BTW Im YColette but it said invalid security token when I tried to post so Ill see if this works

    1. U can call it what u want but their all fags. If ur messing with both sexes period ur r bisexual at d least even if its just for d sex n not for d attraction. If ur takn plastic dick u hav tendencies. Regardless i dont want u.

  15. I’m not trying be offensive but I am just learning about this side of the lifestyle. I’m use to the girls. Playing dress up in drag and being fierce. This side of your lifestyle is a culture shock.

    1. Yes, all gay men aren’t fem, Deborah(I had to reply). Like myself, I’m not that stereotypical “gay” guy. I don’t indulge in all the gay lingo, etc. I have masculine mannerisms. Am dl? No. But just because I like men doesn’t make me want to get all Sasha Fierce. I participate in sports, as well.

      1. Most (75%)of the Gay guys I know are not fem.Its just that the fem guys cant pass as straight so the “straight acting” gay guys dont set off gaydar .Most of the masculine Gay guys are not on DL many are discrete.Unfortunately most of the Black Gay guys on tv especially reality tv are fem and they arent many”Out” Black Gay guys in film or music or sports

    1. LMAO! It’s good though, so they keep thinking dudes who mess with guys = broken wrists. So they don’t see when you fucking their oh so macho boyfriend because he keeps telling her he’s gonna go hang out with his ‘boy’

  16. I do think her fiancé should get points for being honest. I was friends with someone who was in this situation. It was wild!

  17. I’m late to the convo but I want to say, I know a gay guy who claimed he was bisexual for the longest.He fucked this chick and she was obsessed with him.She kept making these videos saying she wanted to hook up with him again because the sex was so good and even had a sex tape with him.Now he’s gay and he even acts more feminine, he used to talk with a real deep voice, now it’s high, and he has the limp/broke wrist hand gesture thing.He finally admitted that he was gay and he says he’s just fully gay and doesn’t like women.It’s weird because he even got a girl pregnant, she doesn’t want him to be in the kid’s life because of his life style.He even cross dresses.I know a few gay guys who don’t identify as bi at all, that had babies with women the natural way.I don’t know, people are weird.

  18. I also want to bring up the whole double standard thing when it comes to bi men and bi women.Sherri Shepard on the view said like year or 2 ago that if a man fooled around with another man in college then he’s gay but a woman who messed around with other women aren’t gay.She said she has female friends who used to fool around with women in college and they are now married to men and have kids.I remember a few years ago I was talking to this bi girl and she said that her boyfriend knows she’s bi and is okay with it(I doubt most str8 dudes would have a problem with it).Anyway the thing that bugged me was she was one of those “bisexuals are always judged by both gays and straights” then this bitch says “I couldn’t date a bi dude because I’d think he’d always be thinking about dick and not me.”Um?Contradiction…I guess people have this idea that females are unstable creatures that don’t know what they want.I also know 2 girls that were tom boys when they were younger, grew out of it in their teenage years and became very womanly and then became butch and now like look like dudes.I don’t mean to be offensive with my people are weird comment so I take that back but I guess some human beings are just fluid, personality wise.

    1. Bisexual people are usually the devil. They are never sure of what they want or who they are but they want to give a nigga a class on the gay lifestyle. Bisexuals are here to pleasure and send home. Once I hear you are bi I cut all conversation by unloading this dick in their mouth. Talk to me when you pick a side and stay there. Bi people usually freaks so that’s there redeeming quality.

      1. Coming from the non-judgmental horse? You need to pick your side first before clearing the speck of dust in others’ eyes.

      2. You’re hurting me man. I’m not the devil. I know what I want. I like both sexes. Just like being gay is not a choice, bisexuality isn’t either. We can’t help we like both. Take a minute and think on it. Don’t let one bi dude you met be a representation of all.

      3. This is the exact thinking that a lot of straight people have about gays regardless of being discreet, masculine, or fem. Check yourself with all that bruh. There are plenty of self respecting bi men out there, myself being one of them, who choose not to play games, lie, or be any of the stereotypical bull ish you are selling

      4. Bisexual people aren’t the devil. I think your problem is the bisexual people who are wishy washy or who want a dude and a girl at the same time (which isn’t going to work out all the time). One bisexual person shouldn’t represent all bisexual people.

  19. I don’t know if her man is gay.I don’t think he is.I recently went through a horrible experience(something sexual) and regret doing it.I assumed because I was gay that I would like it and I was wrong.I shouldn’t have done it and now have to live with it for the rest of my life.It was traumatizing for me.He could be the same way, sort of.Everybody is different though.He did the gay sex thing and realizes that he is definitely straight but some dudes find out that they like it.I know a guy who is bi and has 3 kids by 3 different women.He said he’ll never tell his current baby momma (who he is with right now) that he’s bi.Not only that but his baby momma is number 2.He cheated on her with another chick and they got pregnant at the same time.I guess it doesn’t bother because that scenario is so typical with ghetto ass people who have no standards/morals whatsoever.There are also a lot of straight men who get their dicks sucked by men.She should be thankful that he told her though.I think that shows that he cares about her that much to even reveal that because he didn’t have to.If he’s disease free and the sex was good then…shrugs.Anyway I feel bad that that gay boss took advantage of him.There are plenty of masculine gays/bi guys out there to have sex with so some gays really need to cut that “str8 man fetish” shit out.

  20. Down low lurker here. This comment section went in. I agree with a majority of the comments. Deborah, no offense, but you are closed minded ma. Gay doesn’t have a look or act. Many feminine men can be straight, masculine can be gay, and the roles are a toss up. Some people like different roles and I believe everyone has a role. Being vers is a label. So stop basing gay men on your assumption from your queenly friends. Lastly Davon said its faggotory for bottoms to prep before sex. You passed that line once you acknowledged someone giving you dick. Stop being a homophobic homo as I like to call your types. You come off really judgmental for someone who likes dick.

    1. That’s funny you call me judgemental (coming from a “down low” lurker) and turn around and label me a “homophobic homo”. The irony… I prefer what I prefer and if you have a problem with it.. find the closest ditch to place yourself.
      Ps: when exactly have i acknowledged to you that someone “gave me dick” ?

      I don’t like queeny MEN, it’s cool to explore and exhibit your feminine side (playing hard to get, being submissive, , cook etc) when it crosses over to trans -femininity extraness, (calling ass pussy,bussy, saying you have to “prep” for dick etc) I can’t handle that . Why do the most in the name of preferring a dick in you. If that’s your fetish , why are you bothered I don’t swing the way you do?

      1. Sucking dick like this http://www.xtube.com/watch.php?v=mFthA-S779- to me is Faggotry. Why won’t you handle your business like the man you are? Why the EXTRA slobbering and noise making and head bobbing.. If you don’t do that we won’t know you are GAY superhead? Ugh.. If you like GIRLS with dicks prepping their “bussy” for you. Do you, don’t rub off your requisites on everyone else

  21. I want to say this to the lady who sparked this dialogue:

    Sistah, I can tell that you are really upset about learning this information and I empathize with you on that. It’s really difficult to learn that our partners have aspects of their past/present that troubles us. I’m here, not to offer you conjecture, but to offer you hope.

    Without getting into human sexuality, I want you to think about this man who said he was in a desperate situation. There was a time in my college days where I was in a desperate situation. A trusted friend stole my rent money and my roommates where short on their half. I had secured the money needed to pay all of it because I learned early on, it’s better to be prepared than not. After learning that I had been gooped by this a-hole, I was in a bind. I couldn’t become homeless behind this. So I was discussing the situation with an acquaintance of mine, and he told me about this escort service. I was like Hell nah because I was a devout Christian (and not very experienced) at the time.I discarded it because I thought of all the implications that doing that work would bring. Long story short, I ended up contacting the service and went out on a “date.” I never would have imagined that I would do that sort of thing in the first place. At the date’s house, I told him my story. Fortunately I didn’t have to do much to get money. I will not go into specifics about that because this is not about me. I went into this much detail to let you know that when your back is up against a proverbial wall, and your thinking will change quickly. In my case, bills were due and I was about to be homeless….in a place far away from family…and no options.

    I encourage you to think of this man in a different light. He must have done some things right if you called him your fiance. He must have been someone who holds your heart dear because you’re close to being married.

    We all have a past and we shouldn’t judge people because of our past. I want you to think about how he has made you feel and how he has treated you up until you learned this. I can assure you that no one who has exchanged sex for money, for whatever reason, readily divulges that information. People are judgmental as hell. They think they know everything about everything.

    Sexuality is between the ears and in the genes. If he’s not attracted to men or desire to be with them, then he’s straight. I forgot to mention that the acquaintance is a straight man. Sexual acts are NOT the same as sexual identity. People confuse the two all the time.

    I also want to caution you to not go to many sources for insight on this matter. One, they don’t know about your relationship. Two, black men are under constant assault and I don’t want you to be complicit in joining in on the “black men ain’t ish” or “black men will eff anything willing.” We are not like that. Please remember that.

    Another thing to take into consideration, especially when bringing this subject up around gay men and women who are afraid that they might snag a gay/dl/bi guy, is that EVERYTHING a black men does nowadays is under a microscope. When you associate gay with weakness and gay with womb-man killers OR bearers of disease, your heart can’t think because so many gay men are BROKEN! If you don’t believe me, look at some of the comments. Look at how women today are treating men that the SUSPECT are gay! It’s a burden to be gay, trust me when I say this.

    In closing, I want to say this. If you go to him without judgment and a sincere heart to try to understand what was happening at that time, you will get your answer. You will not find it in the mouth of a stranger. (or finger tips for that matter) Tell your mind that you are not going to drum up images of his indiscretion. You’ve trusted him up until now…Have some compassion for his soul. This may explain why he does certain things or thinks a certain way. If you love him, I mean truly love him, be patient….be kind….be brave….be bold…and most importantly don’t judge him for what he’s done and how he did it.

    Wishing you peace with this situation.

    1. ITA sexual act is not the same as sexual identiy and gender identity is not the same thing as sexual orientAtion.Hopefully one day people will realize homophobia,biphobia and transphobia are unacceptable

  22. I want to apologize to anyone I may have hurt with my bisexual comments. It was speaking from experience and did not mean to lump everyone in that opinion.

    I will not however apologize to that Davon nigga. Like I said I have been down low lurking on this site for many years now and this bitch has a lot of nerve. He screams no judgment about him but he is the first one doing the same to so many others. How about when he was judging Kerry Rhodes? How about the readers? He judges JF constantly whenever he puts up a man he is interested in. He is in here judging men who choose to clean themselves and how they suck dick. His contradictions have been endless on this blog for many years but people choose to ignore him. So before he comes at me with the bullshit how about he look in the mirror about a damn speck realize he has a tree in his eye. He ain’t nothing but a true to life classic bipolar sociopath perpatrating online. Those are the types yall need to watch out.

    http://bipolar.about.com/od/glossarys/g/gl_sociopath.htm

    Hows that for judgment?

    1. I also forgot to mention his judgments on skin color, men who are tops and bottoms, the owner of this site, and so on and so forth. If I really wanted to, I could go and pull up all his various judgments, contradiction, and repeated wrong information but there is so much. Continous years of classic sociopath behavior that’s all in the archives for research. Like I said I can apologize when I’m wrong but don’t try to be slick bruh bruh. Bad enough I can predict his answer if he even answers atall.

    2. I definitely noticed d contraction. Calling feminine gays fags when hes obviously a fag too. He puts himself on a pedestal bcus hes supposedly masculine and gay.

  23. i’m loving these comments yall are going in haha great read as well Jamari….and for the vixen thats engaged most men these days have dabbled in both…honestly speaking in 2013 if you’re a black female you’ve dated a gay or bi sexual guy you may have not known at the time but you most certainly were involved with it…i’m gay my family knows and so do all of my friends, 95% of which are straight men and woman, however i don’t feel since a man is bi he has to scream it from the rooftops, some men are into both and they’re not on the dl,just because you don’t tell everyone doesn’t mean you’re trying to hide, i came from the old school, even though i’m only 26 my siblings are all in their late 30’s and my mother raised me traditionally, whereas you didnt discuss sexual matters…PERIOD now it’s like men are bashed because of what they like, while woman are celebrated as sexy if they’re bi…double standard especially in the gay community…the only thing that bothers me is when masculine gay men look down on feminine gay men…at the end of the dayno matter the public appearances, if you’re a masculine brotha but another brotha is blowing your back out somehow along the way, that bitch will start to come out lol just saying

  24. Lol….at some of the comments!!! Im kinda well known…well we getting there…Im gay and have come to terms with my sexuality. I come from a sort of high profile family and cannot be openly gay…but thats my life.

    I had this argument with a friend while walking through central park!!!

    First gay is not defined just by sex people…if you feel an attraction (sexual) to a person of the same sex, whether you go through with the sexual action then you GAY! A man that sleeps with a man…whether its a blow job, full penetration or stay rolling in the hay…you GAY. He had sex for money…even if he fucked his boss…yo sweetie he is GAY! If you chose to go into the relationship knowing this…then we are happy for you…if i was in your shoes….im not sure i would not stay with him….im sure though that your relationship will most def not be easy!

    1. Amen to dat! U make d choice to sleep wit d same sex out of free will, u r gay! I dont care what excuse u make for urself. I wud get 3 jobs before i bcome so called gay for pay. I respect myself n am not gay as well

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