don lemon shares his views about dating in the gay community

it’s hard to date in the gay forests.
so many rules and regulations.
you’ll meet someone great,
but he isn’t your type or vice versa.
everyone is fighting for the last piece of masculine meat they find.
you’ll meet someone fine af,
but he just wants to fuck your brains out.
you’ll meet someone,
the vibe is poppin‘,
and then be hit with:

“I’m not looking for anything serious.”

oh,
you’ll stop once you catch a serious sexually transmitted disease?
noted.
for most of us,
it’s hard to date in the black gay community.
in my past hunting sessions,
some black wolves are pure and utter trash.
don lemon learned that and shared his insight on “red table talk”,
with jada pinkett smith,
willow smith,
and mama adrienne.
this is what he had to share

i mean,
don is right.
i’ve heard don allegedly use to mess with dl black wolves too.
let’s be honest:

A majority of them have the best dick

…but see,
that’s the issue with them.
it’s just dick.
some of these wolves/hybrids/foxes by your legit type too.
the “noah and wade/noah’s arc” situation could be just a fantasy.
as far as the white gay community,
he had to say:

it’s interesting when you look at both sides of it.
the white and dl communities.
there is a “shame” there.


i’ll be completely honest with you foxhole…
i’m at my happiest because i ain’t looking.
i’m finding my happiness being by myself.
i’m literally learning to accept me for me these days.
i’m not closed off from being in a relationship,
or even a sexual one,
but the vibe and attraction has to be right.
i remember when the days when i was always on the hunt.
i learned a lot after work wolf and the jackals that followed.
i’ll also be honest and font i won’t rule out dating outside my race.
my main preference is black wolves,
but i refuse to wait until one sees me as a catch.
if i have to rule these forests with a white/latino wolf then so be it.
i’d love him to have the same swagg as nfl baller wolf,
travis kelce
,
tho:

i need him to have some flava.

lowkey: don seems happy now…

happiness comes first.
no one’s opinion does.

x see the whole interview here

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Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

20 thoughts on “don lemon shares his views about dating in the gay community

  1. I like that Don was honest about a disadvantage of dating Tim is that Tim will never understand what it’s like to be a black man.He mentioned that he often has questions because he doesn’t get certain things but there are more things that they have in common and they love each other.Don said when he dated black guys they got/understood each other completely but unfortunately they were not “out” and he didn’t want to have a secret relationship.(I’m paraphrasing)

  2. I read something on Twitter and ppl were dragging Don for what he said about black men being majority of DL.

    I agree with him about the DL statements, but to a certain extent. I think that you have to attract what you want. If you want a meaningful relationship, you’re not likely to find it on Scruff, Jack’d, Grindr, etc. Delete those apps and tell the universe what you want in regards to a partner. Get to know ppl for more than what they can do for you physically. Go out, make meaningful, organic interactions and just live your life. You will never be able to flip a DL man to become openly gay and in a full fledged relationship. Pure fiction. There isn’t a shortage of black openly gay masculine (or feminine) men out here, believe it or not. You just have to go out and be open to new possibilities.

  3. I will watch the interview again but I think Don was referring to the black guys that he dated not being out or openly gay, not the majority of black guys in general. I’ve noticed people have different definitions for DL.I’ve heard people refer to guys in the closet or guys who are discrete(private about their sexuality) as DL.To me DL refers to a guy who publicly dates women while secretly hooking up with men.I dated a guy who was on the DL about 7 or 8 years go,he’s openly gay now.But I think some DL guys are bisexual but because there is still this myth that male bisexuality doesn’t exist or a stigma associated around it they keep their relationships with men a secret.

  4. Jamari, it depends on where you look. When apps pop up for Black men of substance, we don’t support or just turn it into another trashy hookup app. Black gay men need to take responsibility. The same way we downplay the NAACP and Soul Train Awards for the Grammys that don’t respect us, we need to respect spaces made for us. But we don’t.

  5. Gay men in general are very hookup-centric. Regardless of race. I’ve never been in a relationship but I have been on dates. I’m 22 but I don’t believe in love in this community. I have zero problems attracting beautiful men, its just that most just want to sleep with me. The amount of times I have encountered dudes in relationships who snuck behind their boyfriends backs to hit on me is unbelievable. Once you’re in the other side of that and see how dudes don’t value relationships it makes you question if you ever want to get into one. Hence why so many just have open relationships. I know one thing for sure is that I will never get married. Dealing with an unfaithful partner is one but sharing expenses with one? Hell no.

  6. If you are dealing with DL men, you get what you get (black or white). I feel most black gay men use the “black men are shitty narativne” to justify only dating outside of their race; like straight black men justify not dating black women. If you keep attracting and dating shitty guys, the problem is “you”! I have seen plenty of black gay men in long term relationships with other black men, and their plenty of quality beautiful black gay men out there. I get so sick of some black people buying into the idea that the only way they can be in a successful relationship is with someone who doesn’t look like them (like on most TV shows). In this day and time of MAGA, black men only for me.

    1. “black men are shitty narrative….. Black Men only for me” Cosign!!!!!! 🙌🙌🙌🙌👊👊👊🤝🤝🤝👍

      For some reasons, people black dudes in particular, assumed that I only date white guys… Smh, but yeah black men only for me! PeriodT

    2. My friend said this to me when we were discussing interracial relationships. I had to save it:

      “What I have come to suspect is that these Black people are so desperate to be separate from and other than Black that they eventually learn to just ignore Black beauty. The trouble is …since they perceive Black people as somehow less desirable … in their minds … a “hot” White person is “out of their league”.So they don’t bother. And instead … they focus on the White people they consider “gettable”. Because “anything is better than having a Black person on your arm” …the “just OK” White person is still a prize. Still makes them feel elevated above Black …because they GOT one … even if not a “top-tier” one.”

      And that’s how I feel about Don. He, Billy Porter, RuPaul and Lee Daniels can have a stadium of seats. You NEVER see these “Expand your horizons outside of Black”, with someone CUTE.

  7. Thanks for posting this Jamari.

    I didn’t know Don was on the Red Table with Jada so I’ll definitely be tuning in for the full interview. Based on some of the clips I think I now understand why don has chosen to expand his dating options to white men. I resented him for a long time for not choosing a black man but I now recognize that I was wrong.

    Anyway, so much to unwrap here regarding DL black men and interracial dating but I’m busy with work now so…. to be continued 😉

  8. This topic is so much deeper than what is being talked about here. And honestly I’m just going to say this a lot of you all are delusional about the isht black men do. And a huge majority is down low and we know this so stop acting as if ppl are saying things that are ridiculous when it’s closer to the truth than it is nonsense. I love black men there’s nothing like us in this world but boy have we got some shaping up to do straight and gay. We are still slowly making our way out of slave mentality.

    1. Black men are too divided. Black men born here aren’t allowed to bond or show emotion. Foreign Black men are more comfortable with their sexuality, but live in residual fear from nations where they’d get killed for being gay. We still feel we have to have several children by several different women, to be “manly”. Caribbean and African men have 4 wives and 20 children. Is that any different from a community penis broke thug who has several baby mothers? Then we complain about Black people, but leave the Black person who held us down and get with someone from another race as “growth” is outgrowing an inferior race that doesn’t match your new success, smh

    1. ^carlton don’t leave.
      at least let me know what’s going on so i can fix it.

      are the comments not working?
      i checked the spam folder and there is nothing in there from you.

      sometimes when they are too much people on the foxhole,
      the comments tend to get messed up.

      1. I’m so embarrassed that that posted. I just get irritated when I feel like I am contributing and the internet says, “NOPE! Nobody cares! Stop posting!”

        Don’t get me started on DMs and texts not going through. Much like those nights writing papers, for my computer to freeze and all 8 pages are gone.

        I’m dramatic when I’m emotional. I hope your V-Day went well.

  9. Being gay is such a bother. You find somebody you like and you gotta go through all the stigma and baggage. He’s telling the truth but it’s a shame that it is a truth that we all share.

  10. I would be exhausted if I had to explain simple Black things like that to my lover. Don and the other swirlers need to kill that fake woke faux deep mess. Just say you think pink peen is superior my nigga and keep it moving.

    Most of the time Black men are only DL on the apps. Gays are super messy with the right click saving and screenshooting of pics. It’s not like a DL guy who is interested in dating is going to meet in a back alley with a bag over his head. These frivolous homos need to just admit that they’re shallow and that the white boys don’t make them ask to unlock pics. Laziness and excuses for white supremacy!

    1. “Don and the other swirlers need to kill that fake woke faux deep mess. Just say you think pink peen is superior my nigga and keep it moving.” This was hilarious!

      I rarely see White Top-Black Bottom relationships. I wonder if they exist? White men seem to instantly become bottoms no matter how fem a Black man is.

      I agree though. If I’m going to date someone who isn’t Black, they’ll have to struggle as a minority based on their looks. Black people aren’t the only ones who don’t benefit from Eurocentric privilege. If I’m going to date a Lighter guy, he has to be Black. No blue-eyed Latino with Blonde Hair will understand the plight of a Black man in America. Anybody of another race will have to be dark-skinned and the furthest from White features, period.

"off topic" and other nonsense gets sent to my spam folder. other than that, play nice and let's discuss!