Baggin A Baller 101

So a baller has hit you up!
That means you are special.

No really.
If a baller has hit you up that means you are the choosen Fox.
Here are a few rules…

…so you don’t fuck it up like these other fools…

#1 Keep Your Mouth Shut

He is expecting you to keep all things quiet.
I know you want to go shout it to the mountain tops, but guess what?
People talk and this is not something you want people talking about.
So keep your friends and family out the loop.
Think of it as your dirty secret.
Exciting, huh?

Do not try and be Kat Stacks or all these countless bird braids.
Those antics will get you fucked and left behind.
Be smart.

#2 Realize He Is Busy

He could be rapping, acting, ballin’, or running a company…
Realize the contact will be slight or in-between
especially between important gigs.
Do not whine or complain like some silly ho.
Just go with the flow and keep the conversation
interesting when he does hit you up.
If he is interested,
he WILL let you know.

#3 Fake names and Such

Sometimes he will ask to speak to you under his alias.
A baller with NOT come right out and say:


he will more than likely be a whole different person
OR a code name you will remember.
He has to feel you out and see what kind of Fox you are.
This is not some DL dude.
This is a BALLER.
The object of this game is: SECRECY.
Plus, he doesnt want anything traced back to him in case YOU fuck up.
At least if he fucks up, you know he is SLOPPY and MESSY and you need to MOVE ON!

#4 Meet Me At The Spot

He will request for you to meet him in a private/public location.
More than likely, check out the merchandise before he proceeds.
Don’t be offended.
Wear your best and present yourself as YOU.
If he doesn’t like it – then fuck him.
You should already have an attitude like you are choosing his ass.
Just because he can buy a mansion in a week,
doesn’t mean his shit smells like potpourri.


You need to know stats, record sales, background info…
the whole 9 yards.

What will you talk about?

#5 Sex Him Damn Near Stupid

All those muscles, tattoos, and private parts are what you lusted after.
Now it is time to show and prove.
I say fuck his brains out like the Fox I have trained you to be.
Show him you are flexible and you can throw it back.
Suck his dick like Supahead personally picked you to carry on her legacy.
You do not have to be a whore to make him like you,
but you must give him the best sex he ever had to make him remember you.
He has fucked a tight hole before, but what makes you so different?
Go forth and ride that dick like your life depended on it.

Sweaty “I just put in work” sex is the objective.


If he likes you,
he will probably want to keep in contact.
SO… exchange numbers and let HIM hit you up.
Thirsty groupies will be blowing up his shit trying to lock him down.
Show him you are different.
Send him a text ONE TIME and see if he responds.
Keep all info brief unless he is trying to speak.
You can kinda tell when a baller is not in the mood or busy.

Do not talk about relationships or the like.
Sex talk, sports talk, his issues, or just to vent – good signs.

Do not be a bird brain and fall for the dick.
Let’s try to get in the mind and heart, shall we?

#7 Buy Me Something Pretty

If he is constantly hitting you up and fucking your brains out,
chances are he likes you.
He may pay a bill or buy you something nice.
Take it and shut the fuck up.
If a baller wants to do nice things for you,
why question?

#8 Invite Me To Games

If he feels you aren’t “too out there“,
he may invite you to a game, concert, or even events.
When you go, DO NOT fraternize with the female Foxes.
He may put you in a special section with the wives and girlfriends.
If they ask questions,
say you are something OTHER than affiliated with the baller.
Try being a cousin to the GM, you work at the stadium, or even the assistant to someone in HR.
Maybe just someone with money who got seated in their section.
Less talking on your part keeps the trail cut short.

When the game is over, you go home.
A smart Fox makes sure he has a ride to and from.

#9 Jealousy is a No-No

He will probably be fucking other people.
Men and women.
Be realistic.
You know what you both have so why even get jealous?
You have to keep your feelings at the door when going into something like this.
If you can’t handle it,
then this ISN’T for you.
But guess what?
A man, no matter WHAT tax bracket or lifestyle, will have a ho or two…
So keep that in mind next time your feelings come into play.

#10 Break Up… maybe a Make Up?

If you both separate,
try to end it on good terms.
He may still splurge on you since you kept your mouth shut.
Or, if the dick and tongue was CRAZY,
give you freaky deaky drive bys when he comes in town.


But if it comes to an end,
cherish the moments and move onto the next baller.
If you are tired of that scene,
don’t spoil it for other Foxes who want to experience.
Let them get a taste and have a story to tell.

Just some info I wanted to drop for my Foxes.
Enjoy and tell em:


lol LATER.

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

7 thoughts on “Baggin A Baller 101”

  1. But J know what’s funny bout that the ones that r they conceited feel me. They know a dude b checking them out but it’s some other shit the arrogance. HOLD UP! U tight and all but don’t get it twisted.

    1. That is WHY u never indulge in his conceit. I tend to ignore silly dudes who try and play “king of the jungle”. I know you are a football player or baller, I don’t need to remind u baby…

  2. Number 6 is the most important step and should be NEVER call the cell unless he leaves you a message to specifically to. If your number is locked in the cell it is labeled as pizza or something generic.

    Number 8 is just as important and will get you dumped in a new york minute. You are the account rep for Coke Cola, Tmobile, you are Coach Smith’s brother …… blend in

    1. @third

      I would NEVER call a baller’s cell (only if he says it is okay OR we have been established for longer than a 2 day fuck)….

      Never associate with the wives, girlfriends, hoes, chicken heads…. Be that “who is he?” Person. Once you start becoming “the gay girlfriend”…. Or “let’s fish him for information”… U LOST!

      1. you got it …..

        another secret is find the closest Popeyes Chicken to the training camp facility. I guarantee you will run into one there after practice.

  3. Well this is certainly been another class for me! This made me cheese! The dream. The dream. Taking notes, brothas. 2011 is gonna pop.

  4. I understand the idea of this. The fleeting highs and potential moments of “this can’t be real?” but when it all comes down to it, I’m not sure i could live like that though. It sounds cute in the abstract but in reality, i don’t know who long I could sustain this while maintaining my happiness. All of this i feel encourages the type of behavior that hinders us from finding forever. And then we sit here and complain about how we can’t find a good man and how much being alone sucks. Taking the crumbs of this man’s attention while he gets all physical without having to invest much. His characteristics, personality and behavior give the people he engages with just enough of a HINT of what he could be, if only he wasn’t so busy and self-involved. Pretty much being on his time. Trying to suppress my feelings and pretending not to care. Mistaking his sexual interest in me as genuine “i like you” feelings. Lol, no he in fact doesn’t like me… he likes SEX with me (in exchange for me being grateful for his interest in me).

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