i live in new yawk,
but mentally,
i’ve been in another country at a wellness retreat.
when i shut down my personal social media accounts,
the intent was to come back once i was healed.
that means work on this therapy shit hardbody.
foxhole,
i can say i’m well on my way to being healed and reclaiming my time.
i feel like serena van der woodson coming back to ny in the first episode of og gossip girl.
on my final purge today,
on a brand new moon,
my phone’s contact list lost some serious weight.
that hoe is skinny af.
the way i see things now is this…
A majority of folks in my contact list were not my friends.
too many bodies of people i don’t speak to anymore.
what was i holding onto?
a “potential” connection in the future?
that some of them suddenly seeing my worth?
Prove it.
it’s okay to admit and realize you are simply a moment for some folks.
many of these people’s seasons in my life came to a full stop a long time ago.
going forward:
I’ll give new (or past) folks my @.
Again: it’s SOCIAL MEDIA and these folks are social contacts.
DMS works as a phone and even FT.
You can even group call and send nudes that can vanish as well.
My phone number is personal access to me.
Nowadays I’m protecting myself and my energy so I won’t give it up as easily.
potential business can get my number.
serious networks can as well,
but i’ll give them my email and we can chat there.
if i see that i’m talking to someone a lot in dms,
i’ll give them my number and we can take the show over to texts.
gone are the days of me giving my number out so freely in hopes of deeper connects.
that side of me has died.
a majority of these people and even males cannot be invited to sit in your table.
some are meant to just be social only.
Cute for an outing or three; bad for potential friendships or relations
thats perfectly fine.
you want more from jamari fox?
you want to really get into me?
prove it.
I have a phone number for family and actual friends.
I have another phone number for gay men because once I texted my godfather on accident.
And then I have another number for thots, gay men who just want my body. If I don’t see myself doing anything because talking sex with him or who won’t leave me alone, i give them the thot #. Rarely has a guy leveled from the thot #.
And the main people who say “All those numbers is too much work”
1-Too many free apps with temporary/fake numbers to let somebody have access to be toxic forever
2-You have multiple accounts. One for porn. One to stalk/lurk. One for family. One for links. Just stop.
Anyway, I change the gay and thot # when they piss me off. It’s nothing. You won’t ghost me then pop back up 6 months later when you’re bored. Bye bye!
I do the same for social media. I never understood adding coworkers on social media. We’re not friends. The one time I added somebody I purposely told everyone I didn’t know them like that and to not add me. I added one coworker because I trusted her, but even then I set privacy settings so she could only see so much.
I do not play with my privacy. There is no way a guy who sent me nudes will have access to message my job, parents, family because he’s mad I don’t want to sleep with him. I compartmentalize everything and haven’t had any drama yet.
I even have nicknames I give guys. You will not be googling me, finding my address, showing up at my house. I use different usernames/browsers..last thing I need is social media suggesting my thot account to people on my professional account. I use incognito mode and delete cookies.
When I trust someone, they get my full name and that has only happened 3 times in the past 10 years. You will not have access to me if you haven’t proven you are worthy.
Oh my God! Seli I thought I was the only one doing this. Stop telling my business lol