its so heavy in my life rn,
i had to make a playlist of whitney’s gospel tracks and spiritual songs.

truly.
this year has been…

i faced so many disappointments,
especially with things and people i thought i knew.
i can’t even trust when i’m on solid ground anymore.
shit that don’t even make sense either.
just shit going wrong because the devil wants to fuck with me.
i told a friend the other day:

“if this was 2015,
i think i would have broken from all the weight.”

going further back,
i always use to say 2003 was one of the toughest years of my life.
2025 year has cracked me open to force me to pick up the pieces.
this year has broke me open and all the pieces…

i have had to add pieces back that i didn’t even know i had.

the wild part is that so many people i know are in the same boat.
many people IRL and even in The Foxhole.
everyone is carrying a burden that is bigger than them.
i don’t feel so alone.

this year seems to be the test for the greats.

you gotta lead with all of the lessons you have learned,
trust that things are working out in your favor,
and have faith it will all work out because…

what else do we have besides that?

wild enough that when i look back at 2003,
i remember it being tough but can’t remember most of the tests.
what i do remember is how i didn’t think i’d make it but here i am.