When We Role Play… (18)

This cookie is for you… 

So, you find yourself in a nice relationship.
And ya know what, he looks good too:

Sex is right.
Mind is right.
He caters to you like no other Wolf has.
He has never been with a dude before, but something about you made him pursue.

Everything was good for 6 months until he tells you…

 He doesn’t want to be “gay” anymore because he is scared.
Scared of all the “intense” feelings he has for you.
He wants to go back to females….


He wants to continue sleeping with you.



Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

32 thoughts on “When We Role Play… (18)”

  1. NEXT….no questions asked.

    I am and will NEVER be the type of dude to be in any type of relationship with a dude who is not out.

    Too much drama and you always ended up with the shitty stick…


  2. I would be like, speed on before you get peed on!! Cuz I do not have time to try and make a grown man believe what I want him too and live a lie with you after I’ve chosen to be free.., if you want to be in the bondage of your own mind feel free, but that’s a ride id rather not take!

  3. That’s an easy one. It’s over. One chop. Never answer another phone call or text message from him ever again. I do not support being satisfied with the crumbs of a man’s attention.

    I’m sure there are plenty who would agree to that arrangement, pretend to be cool with it, and stick around hoping he has another epiphany and chooses them. Probably many a fox/hybrid going through this RIGHT NOW.

    1. ^this Fox I met is currently going through this with a popular artist right now.
      I had to get some opinions.

      My take: we can be private as we want to be.
      i WILL always be numero uno.
      or, we have no deal.
      that means thanks for the great 6 months of your body and some nice sex.
      but, you gotta go.

  4. Any queen that would put up with that shit deserve to get what’s coming to him. Don’t be no fool in love with a fool who don’t even acknowledge you in public…it’s bad enough he might do it with a chick…

    1. ^but is there situations where it HAS worked?
      I feel we hear all these nightmare stories that end in disaster,
      But maybe the ones that do work out…
      No one talks about it.

      Just asking.

      1. How exactly would an arrangement like this work for a long period of time? You are the side piece who is strictly used to scratch an itch. There are no late night phone calls just talking about anything. There is no quality time spent building a foundation. No shared memories together doing things outside the bedroom that you both enjoy. You may get a text or some money but you could get that with someone who’s not afraid to be seen with you in public.

        The only thing I can think of that might remotely have a chance of working is if you’re the BFF who’s not REALLY just the BFF. You both look alike and give the same thing so
        no one questions anything but secretly when the entourage goes to their respective hotel rooms the two of you are spooning in the presidential suite.

  5. I could be in a discreet relationship. I don’t need to kiss or hold hands in public, necessarily. But I could never tolerate being in a relationship that allows another man to put me second. I understand in some people’s line of work, it’s best to separate professional and personal and I can’t argue with that. So if you want to appear straight to the public, then do that. Be a bachelor. But there won’t be another female involved in the situation.

  6. Wtf…Nigga you cant be too scared if you want to keep sleeping with.Really?…..Wait for it..here it comes…..Get the fuck out of here!

  7. Very common situation.

    A lot of these dudes are not going to let go of what they perceive to be a more normal life (wife and kids) for a more uncertain one, and it is uncertain. The shit is scary when feelings are involved. With that being said, I can respect honesty because most guys just turn cold out of no where. The calls and texts become more infrequent, and you can just feel the distance increasing.

    I don’t know what I would do, but if I could go along with his arrangement I probably didn’t have feelings from jump.

  8. I think everyone’s being a tad too harsh. He is definitely gonna get a few shags in even after he drops this bombahell. Just saying. Imean if you’re a discrete fox/wolf like I suppose a lot of the guys on here are, I assume you are not out and don’t want your business out there anyway. Not making excuses for anyone accepting the position of side piece but in this gay business is anyone ever really the main squeeze? Especially when youre a fox??Maybe I’m wrong but Ive never encountered any gay experience that is not primarily sexual and let’s be honest, if the fox is fine with still being friends whilst still sleeping with the dude, I’d say let him enjoy- and keep the wolves disclaimer at the back of his mind.
    The types of wolf (like the one in the pic above) we all fantasise about usually come with this deal so let’s not be so quick to assume we’d keep it moving.
    And like someone said, a lot of foxes are in the predicament Jamaris spoken about so any realistic/workable solutions will be appreciated.x x

    1. ^love the last paragraph also.

      This is why I ask these questions.
      As easy as is to say, “I’m gone!”
      When you meet the Wolf/Fox/Hybrid of your dreams,
      You get wrapped up in his game,
      Everything is perfect,
      And he pulls this shit…. Depending on where yourself esteem is,
      You can get caught up.

      Vixens do.
      It isn’t a bad thing to even say you would stick with it.
      Nothing is bad unless you have no control.

      1. Yep. Life kicks your ass and makes you do things you swore you would never do in the past. I learned that the hard way.

        Situations like this are my worst nightmare. I’d rather be trapped in a maze with Mike Myers, Jason, and Wendy Williams chasing me than fall for someone only to have their feelings change later on down the line.

        Shit like that can confirm every negative, inadequate, internal thought.

    2. I can’t say I understand this ‘second best’ syndrome where one would be okay with keeping a sexual relationship with someone who is never going to commit to you but is willing to build a life with someone else. I don’t doubt that there are lots of foxes in this situation but situations like this exist BECAUSE we settle for it. It would be in one’s best interest to be quick to leave this type of situation because it will never turn out in ones favor. Why must we continue to believe that ‘in this gay business’ we are not good enough to be loved and appreciated like those in the straight world?

      1. Because too many gay/bi men hate themselves, they hate themselves more than any homophobe. Even when their family and friends love and accept them they are still suspicious, uncomfortable, and frustrated at the thought of being who they really are. They rather believe someone else’s lies or live someone else’s truth.

  9. It isn’t being ‘private.’ Thats not what the acenario is about. The scenario says he wants to go back with being with women (which I assume means sleeping with and openly dating) but continue to SLEEP with you (which I assume means calling you up whenever he’s in the mood) on the side. That is NOT the same thing as two people being in a relationship. And if someone considers something like that a relationship then that’s a whole other topic.

  10. I dont feel were being too harsh. I think some of us may have experienced a relationship like this and can speak from experience. I dont think anyone said that youll business had to be out. I can understand you being scared and wanting to revert back to what youre familiar to but dont try and have your cake and eat because to me if youre scared of the feelings you have with a man why continue going back to sleep with him, arent those feelings still there? Men are sexual so I would expect there to be more sex in a relationship when being compared to some hetero relationships but theres a difference between a real commited relationship and sexual one. If a fox does feel comfortable being
    bf#2 and can keep emotions out of it more power to you, but lets be real its not that is. Sooner or later youre going to want more and youre not going to get it waiting on this confused wolf so save yourself the heartache and pain and end it. Thats all im saying and ive been in a relationship where I was the main squeeze the do exist lol

  11. That’s not just a gay scenario. Vixens go through that too – primarily cuz of some good dack. Getting d1ckmatized will make someone lose their mind. I’ve seen a good relationship end cuz of bad sex & an awful one continue cuz of great piping.

    You know why dudes pull this – cuz y’all let them. You gotta be the one to stand firm despite your hole twitching when you remember that dack or tongue…lol

      1. I think for vixens it’s about great sex; Eddie said it a long time ago – if you make a woman come really hard, she’s yours & will forgive a lot if ish if you keep putting it on her. For foxes, I think it might be more about loneliness – afraid you’ll never find the one, so you settle for the rough trade/dl-looking guy or the one who piped you just right. Never underestimate the power of some good dick.

        Granted, we also can act a fool over some good ass/pvssy, but not nearly as much or as bad…

  12. Idk I can empathize with the fox. I went through this and its like complicated. You grow to really care for the person a great deal. You want them to be happy more than you might be at the moment. I think that some of you guys are completely justified for looking out for yourselves. However try putting someone before you, one time or another.

    I do not mean you do it absent common sense but consider that he’s doing what he doing doesn’t mean or stop you from continuing to date and live your life. I’m just say blur the lines a little and remember to be safe while doing it and see what happens. Maybe after four failed relationships he’ll realize you were what were right for him the entire time or maybe he won’t.

    1. I’m not sure I understand. “Try putting someone before you…” We’re talking about a man who, after six months, took a good long look at you, evaluated the situation between the two of you, and said “no thanks, I’d rather keep you as a said piece as I pursue my luck elsewhere.” A man who in a very direct way communicated the him and his needs come first despite how you feel.

      And then the idea is still sleep with him while putting yourself on STANDBY (you can sleep with whomever but you aren’t moving on) whilest waiting for him to decide…IF… He’s ever going to chose you at all? It’s not complicated. It’s pretty simple. It’s a classic case of waiting for an unavailable man to make you te exception to his rule. It’s betting on potential and hoping and wishing and praying that this man will see that you stuck by him and bended and compromised yourself to show how much you care and how he should choose you.

      But in actuality, he doesn’t have to. Why? Because in agreeing to HIS rules and guidlines he knows that no matter what, you will still be there. It’s not safe to dream up fairy tales and Hollywood screen plays about what COULD happen. It’s important when it comes to men to keep planted firmly in reality. At least, I think so…

  13. YngBlkWolf :
    I think for vixens it’s about great sex; Eddie said it a long time ago – if you make a woman come really hard, she’s yours & will forgive a lot if ish if you keep putting it on her. For foxes, I think it might be more about loneliness – afraid you’ll never find the one, so you settle for the rough trade/dl-looking guy or the one who piped you just right. Never underestimate the power of some good dick.
    Granted, we also can act a fool over some good ass/pvssy, but not nearly as much or as bad…

    I agree.

    Has anyone ever seen a situation where a top has gone crazy over some booty? I haven’t.

  14. The comments were everything! I digested each one. It’s a very thin line between compromise and conforming. I refuse to conform to the rules of a man.. BUT I will compromise if I am in love and the feeling was BEYOND mutual with my dude. Now with the original situation I wouldn’t exactly run.. I would walk slowly away. I would want to play with those “strong and intense” feelings he has for me. lol 😉

  15. Well, the sex would in theory still be right.
    But his mind ain’t.
    And then the sex prolly wouldn’t either.
    So…bye’n’ CU in the next life?

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