Today, I Went For An HIV Test And…

…well I didn’t go for a HIV test.
It kinda just sorta happened.


How many have my Foxes and Wolves have been tested… ever?

If you haven’t… EVER… then prepare for me to slap you as this story is NOT for you.
Me, on the other hand, ended up getting tested today.

And BOY OH BOY…

I was feeling ODee sick today, so I decided to call out and go to the doctor.
I am pretty much a health nut so I wanted to make sure I was okay.
The doctor took my blood and then asked if I wanted to take a HIV test.

Nervous. I gulped.

Now I am not the Fox going around being wreckless.
Last dude I slept with was Prospect a month ago, and before that … I went a hard year without a good dick down.
It was just me, my hand, and my imagination.
I was all “Yeah sure!! Lets do it!”.
The African lady came in and was fascinated by how I looked and dressed.

“Are you straight or gay?” she asked after she set her things down.
“Well doc, you get right to the business huh?”

I make jokes when I’m nervous…

I hesitated for a minute but then I became honest, “I’m whatever it is that makes me feel good at the moment but, I prefer men more.”
“Oh, *laughs*, whatever is available?”
“Yeah pretty much.”
“Handsome guy like you, I’m sure you have a lot of options.”
“Well, tell those options to call me since I sleep many nights alone.”

Simple nervous humor.

So before she tests me, she goes into the speech.

“Do I use condoms?…. blah blah blah… Do me and my partner get tested?… blah blah blah…”

I politely let her know the last dude I fucked was a one night stand and I never heard from him again.
She almost looked disappointed in me but, she loved my honesty.
After her lecture, she sticks me with some pin thing and drops my blood in this container.
She swirls it around and left it on the counter.
She rubs my shoulder and tells me to wait outside.
The results would be ready in 20 minutes.
I went with the test feeling like a solider.
But after her words sunk in with me, a Fox got SCARED!!!

“What if I have HIV? I’ll probably never be able to fuck a baller in this lifetime…. EVER.”
“What will my Foxes and Wolves think? They would be so disappointed.”
“OMG… what would I think? I’d probably become a hermit and live in a cardboard box in the kitchen.”
“I’d probably never be able to fuck a sexy dude, like this:

 

 


… I’d be in a world of looking and no touching…”
“I’d become so thin and I’d have to buy new clothes. I’m already slim as it is that I’d become a damn crackhead…”
“My booty would be non-existent. Shit no one would even be worried about my booty…”
“I used condoms with Prospect… or did he pull it off without me knowing??”
“I erased his damn number so I can’t even find him to kill him…”

Suddenly, I felt sick.
I felt my ears start to burn and my skin felt itchy.
The chair I was sitting in felt like there was spikes in it.
I could feel my stomach slipping through my butt.
My throat felt like it suddenly became used sandpaper.
I looked at the room with the door closed and imagined this scene playing back in my head:

As I was ready to 100 yard dash out the waiting room,
I felt this hand on my shoulder.
It was the African Lady and she was smiling.
I hope she isn’t smiling because she gets paid everytime she has a new HIV victim.
She brought me into the room and I sat down.
She smiled and handed me this:

Foxes and Wolves…
PLEASE KNOW YOUR STATUS!!!

Love.

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Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

21 thoughts on “Today, I Went For An HIV Test And…

  1. Honey I believe some of your thoughts were offensive dear. I am glad you are negative and glad that you are using condoms as I have made a post similar on my own blog yesterday. Some of the thoughts you posted are a little offensive to those that are positive, but I know you are a sweet baby and meant no harm. Just be mindful of which ones you reveal.

    I love you and so glad you are taking good are of urself sexually!

    Your gal,
    DElla

    ALSO! U HAVE NOT EMAILED ME…YET AGAIN WE ARE GONNA HAVE SOME PROBLEMS.

  2. Lol those are honestly the thoughts that run through many people’s minds whether they’d like to admit it or not. Everyone thinks back to their sexual encounters when they get tested to try and pin point the moment it might have happened should the results come back positive. But congratz to you for getting tested. Hopefully technology will advance and the results will be more accurate as well as instant.

    (Side note: I see guy #2 at the club all the time. At first it was like omg! thats him!…. now its like… are you always here?)

    1. FYI “UrSoVain” and Himal ….. went to your site and can GUARANTEE you have never seen me in a club there! If so dude walk up and speak next time and take a pic!

  3. Im glad my boo boo is negative! The same exact thoughts went through my head when I was getting tested. I was super nervous even though I have never had unprotected sex with a man! But still lezzys can get it too! Glad to know youre educating these young foxes & wolves 😉

  4. Today was Black AIDS Awareness day, so I’m glad you were tested. Our people are being infected at a disproportionate (sp?) rate, so we gotta be careful & know our status – too many myths abound & unprotected sex.

    even if you psych yourself out or you need to take a friend; heck if you need to get a drink or some herb beforehand, get tested please. And while you’re there, have them do the full STD/STI stuff — HIV ain’t the only thing out there.

    Kudos for getting tested & even showing us the thoughts that come. But even if you were scared, you still did it.

    You’ve come so far & grown, don’t let the ‘what ifs’ pull you back down, baby. Stay positive (no pun intended lol) — a smile & a good attitude never hurts 🙂

  5. Congrats to you for having done it and being honest about it! Now if we can all do the same it will save us alot of greif!

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