16 thoughts on “I’m Willing To Suck and Get Fucked To Be A Star”

1. tajan :
   Wow Old Head I am blown away, you just never know who reads Jamari Fox, of course Im sure we are all going to be wondering who you are (smile)…/p>

   I know, right? Interesting.

2. I have always been a private person, so me and fame are not a good match. When you’re famous, everyone wants to know everything about you. Look at how hard it was for Michael Jackson to live his life. Every move he made was monitored, scrutinized, and magnified. Is it really worth it? No. If my work or talent brings me fame, that is one thing, but I am definitely not thirsty for it.

3. Old Head :
   Wow, Jamari, you come up with some interesting and real life situations.
   There’s an old saying: the grass is greener on the other side. If many of those craving and seeking fame only knew the down sides, they’d readjust their mindsets. I never wanted the limelight but was drawn to it by stepping up to fill a void and living the values instilled in me as a child to stand on principle and to do the right thing. If only I could have accomplished all the things I’ve done without the notariety, I’d be a happy camper. Thank goodness, I’m comfortable with my sexuality. If I were not, I’d be a nervous wreck.
   I cannot go anywhere without being recognized. I’d love to be able to throw on some jeans or sweats and run to the store without shaving. Whenever I step out my door, I’m under scrutiny. I have to always be “on.” Why? Because, people would talk and they do. I cringe when I read posts of people being outed. (I think it’s great when heterosexists and homophobes who put down gay people are outed). And, having their private business put out by people who’ve been intimate with them. I’ve had it happen to me. So many brothers cannot keep their mouths shut. I’ve actually had people come up to me and give me play by play accounts of what went down in bed between me and others. Fortunately, the reviews have always been good, but that is not the issue. What if they had been bad reviews? The embarrassment would have been major. Still, I felt a sense of betrayal. And, I would have never expected those who ran off at the mouth would have done so.
   And, should I be seen at certain places or on certain sites, people actually pick up the phone and call folk. Therefore, I always know that whatever I do or say has to be something with which I can live, if it should be made public. That’s why I mentioned earlier that it’s a good thing I am comfortable in my skin.
   I’m reminded of something my grandmother told me as a young child. She said, being colored — that’s what the old timers used to call us — I would have to be twice as good as whites because of racial discrimination. Then when I became conscious of that special thing about me, that we all experience, I internalized that I would have to be three times as good, in case my secret would ever be revealed. After years of fear and closetedness as I metamorphed into acceptance of myself, I began to literally breath more easily at each step along the way.
   I once asked an ex if he thought my neighbors thought I was gay. He said, if they did, they were right. And, we both burst out laughing. It was as though someone had stuck a pin in me and all the stress was let out and a ton lifted from my shoulders. So, if the notariety was the only way I could have made the contributions to our people that I have made, I’d do it all over again.
   But, to be honest, I still wish I could do some things, like being fresh, without people knowing who I was. And, nowadays, with people flying now and paying later, you can’t even go out of town or the country without seeing people from back home. I guess it comes down to wanting cake and eating it, too, lol.

   I loved this. So much depth. You should write a book.

   1. Thanks, Random. Actually, I’m way behind schedule. I’ve got three in mind but the problem is I’m still trying to determine if two might be combined as one or done separately. Plus, I have to confess that I’m a procrastinator. I’m told to just write and let the editors decide. We’ll see, lol.

4. That was deep. This is why I respect you so much!

   1. ^thanks Luckey!

5. Wow Old Head I am blown away, you just never know who reads Jamari Fox, of course Im sure we are all going to be wondering who you are (smile) I think I would be ok if people were being famous for a known talent. These fame chasing reality whores have made the entertainment industry a pigfest. I was looking at B-Ball wives and just cringed at the behavior of these supposedly mature, well off women. This show literally makes me sick, I can no longer even watch these types of shows, these shows have actually been a good thing, they have made me start reading again and turning off the TV. I see so many young gay dudes now emulating the behavior they see on these reality shows and saying all the lingo, so I know these shows have a impact on people. I look at Rihanna and she gets so much press for her hair color and her antics than she does for her so called talent, and the list goes on, all these attention starved people who usually break down under the spotlight. There seems to be so few people who are actually sane in the entertainment industry. I guess the old saying is true “Fame is a Bitch”

6. People want to be a famous because of the fame it’s just that simple. Being famous comes with attention and that’s what people like, but they don’t understand that it’s a lot harder than what it looks. Just look at Beyonce, she can’t even walk around with her baby. I swear if I read another story about her and baby Blue Ivy I just might cut a bitch, damn let it go people. It doesn’t take much to be famous nowdays. Just look at Kim Kardashian; she’s a true definition of a woman that came up by laying down on her back. Personally, I don’t want to be famous because I don’t like attention and I like to keep a low profile.

7. Wow, Jamari, you come up with some interesting and real life situations.

   There’s an old saying: the grass is greener on the other side. If many of those craving and seeking fame only knew the down sides, they’d readjust their mindsets. I never wanted the limelight but was drawn to it by stepping up to fill a void and living the values instilled in me as a child to stand on principle and to do the right thing. If only I could have accomplished all the things I’ve done without the notariety, I’d be a happy camper. Thank goodness, I’m comfortable with my sexuality. If I were not, I’d be a nervous wreck.

   I cannot go anywhere without being recognized. I’d love to be able to throw on some jeans or sweats and run to the store without shaving. Whenever I step out my door, I’m under scrutiny. I have to always be “on.” Why? Because, people would talk and they do. I cringe when I read posts of people being outed. (I think it’s great when heterosexists and homophobes who put down gay people are outed). And, having their private business put out by people who’ve been intimate with them. I’ve had it happen to me. So many brothers cannot keep their mouths shut. I’ve actually had people come up to me and give me play by play accounts of what went down in bed between me and others. Fortunately, the reviews have always been good, but that is not the issue. What if they had been bad reviews? The embarrassment would have been major. Still, I felt a sense of betrayal. And, I would have never expected those who ran off at the mouth would have done so.

   And, should I be seen at certain places or on certain sites, people actually pick up the phone and call folk. Therefore, I always know that whatever I do or say has to be something with which I can live, if it should be made public. That’s why I mentioned earlier that it’s a good thing I am comfortable in my skin.

   I’m reminded of something my grandmother told me as a young child. She said, being colored — that’s what the old timers used to call us — I would have to be twice as good as whites because of racial discrimination. Then when I became conscious of that special thing about me, that we all experience, I internalized that I would have to be three times as good, in case my secret would ever be revealed. After years of fear and closetedness as I metamorphed into acceptance of myself, I began to literally breath more easily at each step along the way.

   I once asked an ex if he thought my neighbors thought I was gay. He said, if they did, they were right. And, we both burst out laughing. It was as though someone had stuck a pin in me and all the stress was let out and a ton lifted from my shoulders. So, if the notariety was the only way I could have made the contributions to our people that I have made, I’d do it all over again.

   But, to be honest, I still wish I could do some things, like being fresh, without people knowing who I was. And, nowadays, with people flying now and paying later, you can’t even go out of town or the country without seeing people from back home. I guess it comes down to wanting cake and eating it, too, lol.

   1. ^i am so blown away from this comment myself.
      thank you for sharing your story.
      I hope my readers and lurkers actually paid attention to this.
      I hope in some way that all my lurkers who are actual celebs feel comfortable in reading my site.

      1. Thank you, Jamari, for this site. Reading the posts and sharing with each other is one of my pleasures. What I really like about it is that we get to share, simply as brothers, with no rank or status — just brothers sharing our stories with each other without any pretense. It’s awesome, and I love it.

8. there are so many paths to financial posperity. many far more rewarding than being say a football player or singer (see tech and other startups). heck where i used to work, everyone sitting beside me was making at least 6 figs, AT LEAST! However, most young black youth desire the artist route, even though they’re aware (even subconsciously) it’s harder to make money. as brian michael cox said, “you got more ‘producers’ than artists” WTF?

   a million squirls searching for 1 Nut. 99.99999% won’t make it. yet they still crave it.

   why? because although u see a lot talk about building their paper, it’s really about the fame. lights, camera action. even if it means being broke…. so long as they can FALSE FLOSS

9. its what people yearn for they want to see their name in light and a star on the side walk. At one point in my life i wanted the same thing but then i grew up and realized i dont need fame to make me i can be who the fuck i want to be. i think Matt Damond or Ben Afflack said a regular person can go to McDonalds and get a burger. if a star wants to go to get the burger its on the news when i just want a burger its like everything we do is on camera. He wants a normal life while they have loosers who think their satars acting like ass holes. fame is a drug and the only durgs i do are over the counter, sex, and the gym and weed every so often lol

10. I don’t need or want fame. I want to be able to be financially free — able to do what I want when I want…and help out others as well. You can keep the fame – Iont need you to know who I am

11. I have absolutely no interest in being known. Even if I was famous, I would be the type of celebrity to keep my personal life extremely private.

12. I wouldnt Say im addicted to it, like you said there are ppl who are passionate about the industry and the art of entertainment ( like myself) who would and could do ot for free just becasue this is what they love, ive seen actors and models just doing this for fun or popularity and they have interests in something totally diff, but i feel like the ones that do this sincerely because of the love & they want respect for their talent make it farr really far & the ones that do it just for the fame or the popularity it shows in the long run and they slowly go down ….

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