If Ya Wanna Be My Lover, Ya Gotta Fuck Each Of My Friends…


an f-bi sent this article to me last night.
i had to rewrite it.
baller alert,
one of my favs,
had an article titled:

5 Types of “Friends” to Leave at Home When Trying to Land a Baller

… and i knew it would hit close to home in the foxhole.
i decided to rewrite it for all the foxes/wolves/and hybrids who are trying to be on the prowl.
meet ballers or even just a good guy.
“show me your friends and i’ll show you who you are”….

keep your friends down to a minimum.
you want to be popular and all that,
but that comes with a price.
people talk to much and will put your business out there.
you get in an argument and someone is ready to out who you are fuckin’ with.
it is best to ride with 1 or 2.
personally, none at all.
the less attention you get for being “the popular kid” in this lifestyle,
the better.


do not act like a star struck groupie.
in all honesty,
people like it when you treat them like, “who are you?”
that doesn’t mean playing hard to get like a chick.
it just means that you treat everyone like a human being,
no matter what their “title” is.
don’t go asking to take pictures and autographs.
you are not a sixteen year old female.

vixens talk to much.
the less you hang with them; the better.
vixens are naturally bipolar and their emotions can change like the weather.
do NOT tell them who you are fuckin.
they suffer from insane amounts of jealously and will secretly envy or hate you.
it’s all good when you act acting like the “gay best friend”,
but once you start stepping on their toes and pulling wolves they want to fuck,
shit changes.


some friends bring way too much attention.
they are loud, ghetto, and crass.
they should not even be attending certain events with you.
i judge people based on the company they keep.
chances are,
i won’t even speak to you if your friends are suspect.
imagine what a potential person who is interested in you is thinking?


the jackal can be your bitter sweet enemy.
the jackal is great in fuckin’ all the (baller) wolves you want to meet.
problem is,
he is a magnet for fuckin’ your man too.
you can’t tell them who you are interested in because they will plot to conquer him.
if you hang with jackals and hyenas,
yet you aren’t one,
your association will fuck you up.
the only good thing about knowing the jackal is they will tell you who they fucked.
they have a hoe-lodex of all the (baller) wolves they have taken down.
your job is to be everything he isn’t and connect with that same wolf on a higher level.
that can be tricky because sometimes that same baller wolf is a jackal himself.


say goodbye to the sloppy drunks.
i don’t care what you do,
but if you can’t handle your alcohol,
you don’t need to be drinking.
do not go out with the friends who become someone else once they get some drank in their system.
well, if you are looking to be taken seriously that night.
avoid friends who fight,
and show too much feelings once some alcohol gets in their system.
they are usually the first ones to become the “drug addict you gotta worry about” later on.
the best thing to play is the mystery.
the one who knows all the important people.
the one who is at all the events.
people tryna find out who you are.
the loner is always the best.
add some nice gear and a quiet nature and you are in.
don’t let reality show z listers and attention whores fool you.
all attention is not good attention.
build an aura about yourself as the person people want to be around.
the trick is,
you pick who you let in your world
(and they get but so much).
it is not too late to change either.
people like those who look good,
polite to everyone,
and naturally let people gravitate towards them.
it is great to know many associates,
but the people you walk into a room with matter.
the first step of today is to look at all your friends and see who is worthless.
say goodbye to them today.
i want updates.

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

16 thoughts on “If Ya Wanna Be My Lover, Ya Gotta Fuck Each Of My Friends…”

  1. This has got to be one of the best advice post that you have ever posted on here. This rings so true about friends in this lifestyle or any lifestyle for that matter. I had a situation this summer where I got caught up in some major drama with this couple because I happened to be friends with one of them. How this other person found me and drag me in their shit is still a mystery, this situation has caused me to limit gay friends down to a bare minimum. One of the saddest things is that I have experienced is so much messiness, hate, judgement and jealousy with my so called gay friends than with all the str8 people I know combined. I have never seen so many people who are glad for someones downfall than I have with black gay men. I really wish I could find a new group of people who are mature and happy to hang with. I have now been labeled shady because I refuse to get caught up in the drama that comes along with gay friendships, I limit myself to what functions and parties I will attend and this has left a lot of people upset with me, but oh well, less is best when it comes to gay dudes.

    P.S. Any gay man reading Jamari’s rules, if you want to be successful in this lifestyle, make a copy of this one and tape it to your refrigerator because it will be one of the best pieces of advice you could ever get besides having safe sex. Follow each one of these rules as if your life depends on it because it just might.

  2. How about you rewrite your entry by encouraging them to
    1. Go get a degree and aspire (WORK TOWARDS it not just DREAM ABOUT) to CREATE something
    THEN you in turn will REALIZE that you attract WHAT you are…this dumb shit about clinging to “ballers’ is oldddd. It’s 2013, ANYYBODY can be a baller…you got a job (mcD will do), cosigner, and hell a paycheck (or at least a government stamp) and you can “ball”, You can get 40mil twitter followers and Instagram likes, for the right price (cash or kind) you get into Vip with celebs, hell if you pay the $25 (MOST $50 in Miami to $100 if it is THAT big of a deal..maybe Jesus’ personal angel is coming) you can get in the club who cares if you make it to VIP as long as you’re close enough that they see you…..EVERYBODY is making a “series/show/reality show/video bio” (new “musicians” that come out with “porn” my bad, release their “sex tapes” .even gay porn actors..venom and such) – grab a cell phone and sign up for youtube, if you own a gym membership become a Personal trainer/model/”athlete” ..submit your pictures to all the gay Tumblr blogs AND rant on facebook about how those guys keep “stalking you yada yada” …where is the idea of Quality? The substance and the foundation? Are you that broke (mentally, fiscally, emotionally..etc) that you need someone else to be your baller? How about becoming a baller and then attracting a like-minded baller? Maybe I have modern standards, maybe I’m haute because this thirst advises are getting old..

    1. And you stick around here commenting because…? There are millions of blogs for you to read. It is your decision to read/comment on this one. Why do you do so if you just want to ridicule everything that is posted. Go and get your life because this is not cool. You can respond all you want, but I am done.

  3. Davon they just spoke about Black gay men bringing each other down, why are you doing it now. And I maybe wrong and if I am I will apologize, but I think I know you, like really know you. We have common friends so if memory serves me correct I know and have seen a number of things you’ve done that do not align to the message you posted her so, don’t cast stones. Its nice to be nice, if you don’t like the post comment on your blog about how you feel don’t be negative.

    I think you missed the point, he never specified whom or what a Baller was and he didn’t tell them to not get a degree because getting a degree doesn’t guarantee success, it can signify a large amount of risky debt that can drive a person insane trying to pay back. Modern standards doesn’t involve rude, so chill out.

  4. at this point,
    he comes off like an online bully.
    ive said my peace about him and there is nothing else i can say but ignore.
    for someone who is so against everything i have to say,
    he finds himself here like clock work.

  5. I got to admit when Davon first came onto this blog I was like whoa this dude right here is a bit much, but I also got to admit that I like what he brings to the discussion. I think he tells a lot of truth, he just gives it to you straight no chaser and states how he really feels about a situation whether you agree with or not. I got to respect him for that. His advice about being what you want to attract, and having high standards was good advice in my opinion.

    1. ^and i agree t.
      sometimes he comes on here and spits knowledge…
      …and other times he is being an asshole.
      i have said the same things he has said in entry’s past.
      i have always said you need to go and get your own and be your own person.
      don’t depend on anyone to make “you”.
      be made before you meet “him”.
      i didn’t even make this entry about ballers, per say.
      this is for attracting anyone,
      even a good guy you met in passing.
      davon is just trying to be an attention whore on this blog.

      1. LOL, this attention whoring is out of control. So true you have always encouraged your readers to be better and get theirs. Man after coming here for the last 2 years I try to carry myself like Im a baller and have just as much to bring to the table as somebody I might be attracted too. So glad that you keep dropping needed knowledge about navigating the harsh waters in this lifestyle, you got fans now who love and respect you and actually depend on you.

If you wouldn't say it on live TV with all your family and friends watching, without getting canceled or locked up, don't say it on here. Stay on topic, no SPAM, and keep it respectful. Thanks!

%d bloggers like this: