after a long dry spell,
and a few people who came in too fast and disappeared just as quickly,
i’m re-learning how to open up again while being emotionally sore.

on super bowl sunday,
i was invited to a party at this new place i’m in.
i’ve been here about a month now and i’ve started mingling.
well tbh,
people started mingling with me.
one thing about me is:

people want access to me and get comfortable fast.

i don’t know if it’s my energy,
my softness,
or the way i make people feel safe but it happens.

so i met a straight couple downstairs last week,
and after about an hour of talking,
they told me to come through to this party they were having.
honestly?
it was so much fun.
being around new people reminded me of who i am,
how easily i connect,
and how much i enjoy meeting new wolves…
uh,
people.
meeting new people.

after the high has come down,
i find myself paused on all of it at 411am…

Have you ever noticed how some people treat friendships like a waiting room until their relationship is ready?

growing up,
i went through hell with jackals so i mastered the art of the swerve early.
to this day,
people are still salty i dropped them like a bad habit.

it was never about me being a bad friend or two faced.
it was about them and their fucked up behavior.
too-da-loo bitch.
you know what really grinds my gears tho?…

“What about your friendssssssss…”

that is one of my favorite tlc songs next to “creep“.
do we have real friends in our lives?
or do we have stand-ins who will let us down?
there is always a prominent thing that has happened in my life with past friends…

i am still blown away at chandler bing,
aka,
matthew perry‘s untimely passing.
i still feel like i’m dreaming.
i know watching friends is a touchy subject for many black folks but fuck it:

I loved Friends and he was one of my favorite characters on that show.

like certain artists albums,
that show got me through some hard times.
my cousin politely let me know i’ve become more like monica as i grow up.

i’ll accept it cause its true.
i heard about matthew’s troubles when he was alive.
due to just not wanting to know,
i didn’t do much of deep dive.
i chose to keep him in my happy place.
after he passed,
i ended up watching his interview with diana sawyer and…

Continue reading “i did not know chandler bing aka matthew perry was struggling like this” →

i still can’t bring myself to watch her alleged death video.
i think this country might have failed shanquella robinson.
she went on vacation with her “friends” in mexico,
she was allegedly killed at their hands,
they brought the news to her parents,
ate their food while grieving her death,
and as we waited for their arrest…

Continue reading “so did shanquella robinson die without any justice?” →

you will never be friends with beyonce,
nicki minaj,
or britney spears.
following them on social and buying their shit doesn’t equal friendship.
we are not in their tax bracket to be their friends.
don’t get me wrong,
they can follow you back on socials and invite you to events,
but being true friends with them?…

Continue reading “you will never be friends with rich people unless you are rich too” →