I Really Want What You May Have

Have you noticed life is funny?

For some, it can be “ha-ha” funny where you go through it with a breeze.
You have a few issues, but you keep positive and know things will work out.
Others are not laughing and feel the joke is on them.
You want to be grateful, but you feel you have nothing to be grateful for.

How do we stay grateful when we do not have everything we desire?

I was listening to my lesbo associate at work,
babbling on about her current dilemmas.
For whatever reason, I am her “go-to” guy for love advice.
All of her dilemmas do not involve a job or school.
Nope, they all revolve around her relationship woes with her many suitors.
I noticed I was feeling a tad jealous and started to drown her out.

In comparison to her, I am more serious about my money, career, and lifestyle.
Even though I want a Wolf, I am not really in situations to meet them.
She still lives at home and although these 2 second relationships don’t work out,
at least it is easy for her to go out there and meet someone.
She spends her whole work day trolling Downelink and Craiglist for dates.

In my mind, she has one thing I need to make me happy.
She has admitted to me, she wants things I have to make her complete.
Both of us are at a crossroads in our lives.

Have you ever noticed that when you have 1 or 2 things on your ‘to-do’ list,
when you are missing one, your blessings do not feel as good?
In life, we always want what someone else has.
We want to prove to the world we have it all together when we can put a CHECK next to things we have achieved.

You can have the career or even the popularity,
but when you are single, it feels like your life has no meaning.
You can have the relationship and the love,
but dream of having more money in those wallets.
As much as you try to remember how far you come,
nothing makes sense until you have it all.

I started to wonder on having everything.
Is that really what life is about?
Collecting everything you dream of on your bucket list until you find true happiness?
And what happens when you get everything on your list – are you truly ever happy?

I had to ask:

Is “having it all” really… all?

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

18 thoughts on “I Really Want What You May Have”

  1. I think that having it “All” will not truly make you happy, if your motivation behind it is to just check the stuff off your achievement or goal list. I support having goals in life. I believe everyone should be motivated to achieve something, but like you said in the post you cannot make your goals and achievements off the status or state of others around you. All the while you have been on a cycle of achieving just to achieve not appreciating the achievements and blessing you already have. I know God blesses us in different ways and what God has for you is for you.

  2. If all you’re doing is looking at what you don’t have, as opposed to enjoying the things you do have, you’ll NEVER be happy. Thank God for the blessings He’s allowed you to experience, and take time to learn from the trials & tribulations. Otherwise, you’re whining & I can’t deal.

  3. But happiness is found in the pursuit of things and not necessarily in their attainment. It’s something that we must work towards and continue to maintain and i think that’s what isn’t really explained to most people.

      1. It is never wrong to want to be in a healthy, loving, committed relationship despite what people will try to tell you. So long as approach it from a positive place as opposed to out of desperation and loneliness where you’re willing to settle for crumbs as opposed to nothing at all.

  4. If I came off as whining,
    then so be it.
    I want what I want and I want that BIG love.
    I do not think that is wrong nor would I knock anyone for wanting love from someone else…
    … especially in this lifestyle.

    1. Just to clarify, I wasn’t necessarily saying you were whining. Wanting to be happy, wanting to have the husband, kids, and picket fence (such that it is) is not wrong. What I’m talking about it missing what you DO have because you’re obessed with focusing on what you DON’T have – or what someone else seems to have that you don’t.

      It’s like giving, if my fist is always closed, trying to hold on to this little bit of change I have, then it can never be open to receive more. So that’s what I’m saying.

      And if you were whining, *smack* buck up! 🙂

  5. Hey Jar:

    I think that tThere is nothing wrong with you feeling a little down about your current situation, because no matter how: rich, poor, old, young, successful , unsuccessful, in a relationship, out..er you get the point lol; you are going to get down from time to time regarding the current course of your life. However, I think strongly it is during these woe is me points that a person can make very honest and valid reassessments of their life. Often times during a flight a pilot will have to make course corrections in order to stay on course and to arrive on time, because of their meticulous plotted flight plan. However, It is almost impossible for a pilot to calculate or predict routine navigation problems that occurs during a flight such as: air speed, wind resistance turbulence, jet streams, bad weather, or miscalculations made when plotting the original course. If these up to the minute course corrections are not made during a flight then a plane heading for New York from Baltimore may end up landing in Ohio lol.

    The same is it with our lives often times we have to make continuous course corrections in order for us to reach our intended destination. I think that you are really in a very good situation that you are looking at your current position and you are evaluating where you are, where you are heading, and where do you want to be at. ;-). The only suggestions that I can give you are as follow:

    1. Be honest with yourself about what is the true source of your current woes, ( lack of money, job, relationship, etc)

    2. Take a honest account of what are the internal forces hindering you from addressing your current woes (emotional state, personal belief systems, personal values, spirituality, world view, etc).

    3. Take a honest account of what external forces are hindering you from addressing your current woes (finanical state, a mean boss, friends, family, significant other(s) lol, etc.

    4. Ask yourself what you have control over and take steps to make changes to those areas that you have control over by making realistic goals to make the needed changes to these areas.

    5. Things you don’t have control over deal with them by as such by saying “well I don’t have any control over this person or that situation, so I am going to control how I react to them.


    7. Learn to find the positives and contentment in your current situation.

    8. If you are a spiritual person then spirituality is always going to lift you up when you are feeling down and help to light your path towards your destination.

    9. Learn to fight fair with yourself.

    10. Be mindful of people who you choose to receive feedback from, because often times a good friend or a family member may tell you what they think are good choices for you to make instead of helping you to make good choices for yourself.

    11. Be mindful of not looking for external things to make you happy ( money, power, respect, a relationship). In the end you must work to find internal peace and balance. Often times people think that a person or situation will bring them happiness only to discover that they don’t


  6. @ Jamari – You can have the career or even the popularity,
    but when you are single, it feels like your life has no meaning.
    You can have the relationship and the love,
    but dream of having more money in those wallets.
    As much as you try to remember how far you come,
    nothing makes sense until you have it all.

    This is so true…I have experience this and all I can say is you have read my heart, soul and mind…..

  7. I heart blkcasting he is my personal OPRAH. Seriously your advice is so right on time,and I am convinced you really are a self-help author who is just nice enough to share your advice for free.

  8. Hey Tajan:

    Oprah, Oprah!!!! I am all Wolf here, how dare you compare me with a woman!!!!!! How about comparing me to Eric Dyson, Montel Williams, or even Dr, Phil but Oprah!!!!??? LOL Just Joking and thank you for your compliment it is very much appreciated ;-).

If you wouldn't say it on live TV with all your family and friends watching, without getting canceled or locked up, don't say it on here. Stay on topic, no SPAM, and keep it respectful. Thanks!

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