i have a nasty habit

i love the law of attraction.
from very young,
when i would think of something i wanted,
it would somehow appear to me really quickly.
in the teachings of the law of attraction,
you have to act like you already have it.
“fake it til you make it”.
i would apply that same method when i met someone i was interested in.
they would have to show signs they were interested in me also.
i would consciously imagine we were already together in being an optimist.
the problem is…

I would get too emotionally attached before anything happened

id be mentally “in the relationship” before i even got past the gate.
i created a fantasy in my head,
being optimistic,
in hopes it would manifest out in the future.
imagine my face being cracked when the wolf would get with someone else.


i’ve realized that has led to a lot of sadness and hurt feelings on my end.
i realized that is where i constantly went wrong.
those fantasies would become obsessions.
in my low confidence,
it would create lack which would lead to depression.

so from now on,
i’m gonna try something different.

if i’m attracted to a wolf,
i’ll acknowledge that attraction and move on.
i’m going to remain neutral with him until i get solid confirmation.
silly little signs mean nothing.
no more emotional chasing in my conscious mind.
i’ll continue to live my best life and consistently upgrade me.
i will also not let my horniness fuck me up to the point of desperation.

so even tho material possessions are easier to manifest,
other humans we are attracted to have free will.
you can’t make them move any faster or slower.
when they’re ready,
they’ll make a move.
if not,
someone better well.
this is the type of “bad fox” energy for this new decade ahead.
i deserve.

11 thoughts on “i have a nasty habit

  1. @ jamari, on another note, I just saw Aldis Hodges on Wendy Williams!! Damn he’s fine! Now I’m in another imaginary relationship lol!!

  2. Nothing hurts worse than being crazy about someone only to find out that the feeling isn’t mutual. Don’t put all of your eggs into one basket, let them chase you!!

  3. “I’ll acknowledge that attraction and move on.”

    Now this is the kind of sentence that is growth! Acknowledge it and keep building your own foundation in 2020. This is the attitude for the new decade that more should have.

    Lots of gays are in the same boat. The being in a “mental relationship” before reaching the gate boat. I was like that maybe 13/14 years ago over a boy in Texas.

    Even if you mess up in your words, you still should keep going forward. It took me maybe five good times (two with that same boy) to realize the bad habit and he wasn’t for me. Our paths were different.

    Once I strengthen my mind & increased my confidence…I couldn’t be stopped & still can’t be stopped to this day.

    2019 was good to me, 2020 about to be my b*tch.

    I don told my best friend 300 times that confidence is attractive. He ain’t listening for some reason but in any case….oh well.

    Keep a strong mind. Yes, you will have haters or people who will be envious of you & talk down or about you as you gain stronger mental focus. They don’t matter because they are not on your path and there is nothing wrong with you at all. It’s natural. Just remain strong minded. Your actions will show them better than your lips will.

    My bf suggests to write down a list of all the traits you desire in a person that you are looking for.

    I honestly don’t see the power in that. I did it before and even kept notes in my phone and meditated on them and didn’t shit happen… My bestie said that a few days ago too and I don’t understand that at all. How you gonna wish for something in someone else without making sure you have those same qualities or at least some of them. Like attract like most of the time. Stuff changed for me when I go off my scary ass and made some moves.

    This is a good post though.. especially this part…

    *even tho material possessions are easier to manifest,
    other humans we are attracted to have free will.
    you can’t make them move any faster or slower.
    when they’re ready,
    they’ll make a move.*

    People find love at any age and sometimes when they least expect it too.

    1. ^ i feel the growth tbh.
      i’ve had times when i fell,
      but i got up much faster than i usually did.

      i’ve spent time building this mental relationship because i believe you can manifest what you desire.
      the issue is bringing all the emotions into it.

      again: other humans have free will.

      like you fonted,
      confidence and an air of “unbothered” is really sexy.
      even if you are bothered,
      don’t ever look it.
      remain neutral and do your own thing.

  4. Men don’t want anything easy, unfortunately. The more eager, the more turned off.
    So focus less on quantity and quality. Don’t text him 5 times. Tell him once that you were looking forward to hanging out all week, etc

    It’s in those moments when he says “When are we doing this again? This was the most I’ve laughed in a while” and if he says this in front of people and isn’t embarassed…you’re in.

    ” ‘Mari that dude, no cap. I be geekin when we link. It be litty asf” That make you blush in public announcement.

    1. ^omg yessssssss

      i’ve finally learned that when i ignore wolves,
      they tend to want me more.
      meaning,
      i’ll show my interest but i’m not hanging all over them.
      i’m not always around,
      but i’m in their line of sight.

      all males like to hunt.
      if he wants you,
      he will start sniffing around your trail.
      you can tell,
      even the lowest of he low,
      when a male is 100% attracted to you.

      1. if he wants you,
        he will start sniffing around your trail.

        Put that on a Post-It and stick it on your bathroom mirror.

  5. Yes! Don’t wait for the new year to start your goals start them ASAP! And I know what you mean😒😉

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