it’s time to say goodbye…
2019 is outta here.
2020 is where we are going.
we are legit going into a new decade.
as i was cleaning today,
i was reflecting on everything that went down this last decade.
there were was a lot that went down:
star fox – this was probably the biggest thing that stood out.
the year my best friend was murdered.
i will never forget that day for as long as i live.
from when i woke up and got the message,
how loud i screamed,
and the way i blew up his phone hoping it was a mistake.
he was taken from this world way too soon.
i was thinking so much about him because this decade closes that chapter.
i miss my friend so much.
work wolf – the saga.
i can admit that in some ways that was my fault tho.
it didn’t start out genuine between us.
i gave him my number the first time and he never called me.
we actually connected off of female drama he was in.
he texted me all the time and did suspect things,
but he didn’t wanted me.
the attention i gave him is what he enjoyed.
i threw myself at him in hopes he would.
that situation taught me so much.
i haven’t heard from him in close to a year.
he has vanished,
but i hope he is well.
jobs – i was let go from a lot of jobs this past decade.
many of them were because i clashed with management.
i’m always amazing at my job duties,
but 98% of my past managers were trash.
depression – i fought hard with depression and suicide.
it continues to be an uphill battle for me.
these last two months completely destroyed me,
but i was able to put all the pieces back together.
i’ll be completely honest with you foxhole,
but i think i’m just meant to be an emo type of fox.
most of my best lessons this decade came from hitting rock bottom and climbing back up.
mi – i tried.
i don’t regret giving her a place to live,
but i do feel sad that it ended up the way it did.
she nearly killed me in this apartment.
she is letting her disease get the best of her.
i have fantasies she will get it together,
but i’ve realized she is the only one who can help herself.
wolves – mess.
i thought i could be a thot and do the one night stand shit,
but ended up with an hiv scare that damn near killed me.
it came back negative,
but i really calmed down with being “out here out here”.
i went on a few dates after,
and even pulled an baller wolf,
but nothing panned out.
there is one wolf on my radar these days,
but i don’t know where it is going.
this new year will bring me good dick and relationship goals.
career – amazing.
it took close to ten years,
but i finally started getting acknowledged for the foxhole.
i ended up on “tmz” twice,
which was such a blessing.
2020 will be the launch of my podcast.
i’ve already done about 6 test-casts and getting comfortable with it.
i’m so excited of what is to come for “insidejamarifox”.
may this year and decade bring about my rise.
this decade was a roller coaster for me.
it had it’s ups and downs,
but i grew tremendously.
i don’t regret anything,
i’m so glad you joined me on every adventure.
i can’t wait to see what 2020 has in store for all of us.
love you all!
ps – be safe tonight.