I Didn’t Know A Glass Of Cum Actually Quenched Your Thrist

Be sittin’ up in my room
Back here thinkin’ bout you
I must confess,I’m a mess for you…

I am sure this would have been different lyrics in 2012.
It would have been called, “Sitting Up On His Facebook“.
Something about being on the Books, going through his pictures, and stalking his wall.
Sending him messages every three seconds; and then checking to see if it was read.
You know: stalker lite.

Sidebar: Ever since Instagram came into the picture,
I scroll down my timeline and all I see is random faces of the same person.
Like 2 to 136 of the same face shot in the most random poses.
I thought Vixens were bad, but these dudes nowadays are a hot ass nigger-razzi mess.
This one in particular:

This nigga here on Instagram…
This nigga better live up to every EXPECTATION and FANTASY, I know that much.
He needs to be making close to 75k a year,
slang dick like Jesus appointed him the official dick slayer on Earth,
feed small children all over Africa,
and still have time to wrestle crocodiles on the weekends.
I had to stop following him because he is VAIN as hell.
If you read the comments,
these Vixens would suck the crust out his toes trying to get chose.
It was almost sickening to see the THIRST because he is also THIRSTY as hell.

So I have to ask… are you thirsty?
Have you ever had a thirsty moment?
How do you know that you aren’t?
As much as we all like to think we are God’s gift to a pretty penis,
we may be repelling potential dates by the way we get when we are super attracted to someone.

How do you act when you interact with someone fine?

These songs today give us the worst relationship advice.
They tell us that our sex needs to be top notch or we need to be whores basically.
It also tells us that you need to have all the nice shit in order to pull someone sexy.
That is all well and good, but that is usually the recipe for thirsty behavior.
Check it…

As much as we try to avoid them,
the crazy, ugly, and nearly homeless are ALWAYS the sexiest.
Their wardrobe always consists of nothing spectacular,
their bodies are usually fucking scrumptious,
but they have one accessory in their arsenal that packs a serious punch.


You can get anything you want if you are charming.
When we are broke and new to the game, we have that charm.
Our eyes are still wide open and we use language to get what we want.
When we get established or hurt, we lose that charm and become shallow and cold.

I know so many broke ass niggas who are fucking beauty queens and models.
I know plenty of fat and ugly dudes who are fucking the dog shit out of successful people.
They got nothing to offer than some dick and maybe a sandwich.
Because of this, they know how to manipulate working people with a sob story.
You feel sorry for them and it makes you somehow pull your drawz down to offer a mercy fuck.
That mercy fuck was great the first time so it leads down a path of steady peen.
Next thing you know, this mofo is in your man and making you old before your time.

Have you noticed that those who have it together are mostly single?
Why is this, you ask?
They feel they are better than everyone so they try to date UP.
They want ballers, stock brokers, models, and others in that “successful” category.
They raise their standards because they feel they deserve better with that degree or that condo.
What they do not realize is that they repel with their lack of charm.
Which leads them to play with their “paid for in full toys” in the sandbox alone.
Sad and lonely, this is where the thirst creeps in.
So anyone that comes in their path,
like Mister Broke As A Joke or Miss Big Tits and No Home Training,
gets the attention and the time.

Why do you think all these Baller Wolves impregnate such common ran thru whores?
Why do you think these older mid life crisis men attract these young gold diggers?
Why do you think these establish gay men fall in love D/L loser thugs,
even though they swore they would never?

Shit, why is J.Lo fucking her backup dancer?

All because they fucked up and became thirsty.
Their loneliness made them open the door for whatever trash blew in.
We have all been there so I’ll save the judgements…
…unless you keep making the same mistake.

I started to wonder how to avoid becoming thirsty?
We work hard to make ourselves better men,
but as we do this we lose our sense of fun and adventure.
We shove a stick up our ass because we are tired of the bullshit and the hurt.
We can’t find a decent Wolf because every one of them seems to be beneath us.
Or, we find issues with every Wolf and it makes us become guarded.

So what has to be done now?
You never want to date lower on the food chain.
You always want to date with higher or on the same level.
What is the hoodrat broke nigga living with his mama going to teach you?
The best way to steal your neighbor’s cable with foil paper and a wire hanger.
But, I bet he would hammer down the best dick of your life though.

Got that credit card ready to set him up with a steady future.
You start thinking you are crazy in love.
No mofo you ain’t no damn Beyonce!
You just CRAZY!
You should be singing:


So I have to ask…

Is being thirsty UN-intentionally fucking up your life?

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

8 thoughts on “I Didn’t Know A Glass Of Cum Actually Quenched Your Thrist”

  1. Actually it’s quite common for men to date down and women to date up for status and financial security. I had to study it in my Human Development courses.

    If I had a dollar for every time I saw a gorgeous dude with a common chick I’d be rich. Dudes run through these bad bitches and then end up wifing a common chick.

    Now with J. Lo she really has all the money and status she needs and she’s tried dating dudes on her level (Diddy & Ben Affeck) and she probably had to deal with a power struggle. I’ll bet anything she’s running the relationship with that dude.

    The reality is men want the upperhand and they can’t have that if they are dating someone as smart as them or someone that makes as much money or more than they do.

  2. I think with gay dudes its the competition. You go to the gym, you got a decent job, car,financially stable, you are attractive, articulate and a whole host of good qualities, but you will rarely find someone on your level in the black gay dating world. You may even meet a dude with these qualities but after a while its obvious that he is competing with you. I think alot of times we lower our standards so that we wont have to deal with the competition of dudes just like us. Im masculine and I like masculine dudes, but its hard as hell to take a backseat to another dude, and I think this goes for whatever you classify yourself as (fox, wolf, or hybrid) at the end of the day we all have a extra dose of testosterone running in our veins and rarely are we down to submit.

    I have dealt with some busters in the past who didn’t have shit, but they treated me better than the dude who looked good on paper, you get tired of the broke buster, but emotionally its actually easier to deal with him than the dude who has his shit together because he seems less likely to give a relationship a chance when you hit a rough spot because he feels he doesn’t need you for anything or he has had resentment against you anyway for some crazy reason.

    Had a good friend who started dating a dude in his Dept.at work, the dude had a higher position, but my homeboy surpassed him, well that’s when the shit started, both were attractive and look good together and had that envious kind of relationship looking at it on the outside but on the inside it was strife with heartache, my boy started winning and his dude started telling him he was fat, started cheating openly to embarrass him and generally made him feel like he wasn’t shit. I have dealt with similar scenarios with dudes myself.

    I have to ask myself as men are we just too damn competitive with each other to really get along.

  3. A lot of that thirstiness stems from the way you were raised if you ask me. I always Wanted a man that was like my daddy, and that would treat me as well as he treated my mother. He’s smart, confident, has a decent job, a good work ethic, an all around a good man, and he treats my mother accordingly. I wasn’t raised to believe I was better or different than anyone, nor do I fall into the ratchetness of which is pop-culture. But I’ve always had expectations, and I refuse to lower them, but I will also even give a dog the time of day. The only thing that separates some from others is a couple pay checks, so to me we are all more alike than different.. I don’t think I’m thirsty at all and I don’t like anyone else who is be yourself and stop trying so hard, be yourself , because if I met a nice man who was laid off but wanted to go back to school and had ambition, and aspirations, I’d bun him up, and help him to grow as a man and be the best man that he could be

  4. J,

    I thought you stopped featuring him like two months ago? But from browsing your blog again this is the second entry on him. Who’s really thirsty or who’s pouring the drinks?

If you wouldn't say it on live TV with all your family and friends watching, without getting canceled or locked up, don't say it on here. Stay on topic, no SPAM, and keep it respectful. Thanks!

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