he has grown up and i’m still grown-ish

we all have to grow up sometime.
me tho?
ya know,
being a gay fox in this forest,
i live in a little bubble.
i’m so focused on getting my own life together,
all the straights i use to know have a cub(s) now.
i was just in the store,
trying to pick out something to eat.
i’m not in the mood to cook so a tv dinner is on the forecast.
out my right eye,
i see someone waving me down.
when i look,
with full “wtf is this?“…

i see a baby carriage and a past friend i haven’t seen in ages.
it was a straight home wolf i use to run these forests with.
i haven’t seen him since like 2012.
i remember when he use to wild tf out at parties.
he would be on the scene,
drunk af,
and messing with half the vixens in harlem.

He’s a Dad of one now

…and he looks like one.
you can tell his life has changed dramatically.
it was so interesting to see how much he has changed.
i didn’t think i’d ever see “this” for him.
he told me 98% of the folks we use to hang with are with child(ren).
and here i am childless,
and very okaywith that.
of course,
he asked when i was gonna have a little one.

it made me realize how different being gay really is.
i don’t even think about having kids on most days.
i’m still trying to pay off bills and get my shit in order.
gays can pretty much do whatever we want,
and if we are smart,
can live extremely full and abundant lives.
we don’t have the traditional “straight” life of having kids.
after i left him,
it made me wonder

What would life be like if gays had kids traditionally?

i know we can adopt,
but what if we could have kids like the straights do?
raw sexin’ leading to someone’s son getting pregnant.
even with the kid(s)…

Would we be still be out here living recklessly?

a full sex party while the kid(s) asleep upstairs.
being on jack’d or grindr while shopping for school clothes.

Would it force us to slow down and be more responsible?

it’s not a dog or a cat.
it’s a whole little human to look out for.
would that change our lives drastically?
it reminds me of this:


Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

9 thoughts on “he has grown up and i’m still grown-ish”

  1. lol jamari your ‘it got me to thinking what would life be like..’ reminded me of a sex and the city episode , and you typing as carrie.

  2. I’m good here. most of my friends from high school have children. I’m living my best life at this moment. will I ever have children probable not. is it off the table no.

  3. Parenthood really changes folks. Sometimes for the better. I have a lot of respect for parents especially great parents. But its not for me. I am a loner in every sense of the word. Its hard for me to imagine having to take care of another being all the time. Especially in these times.

  4. Man, basically everybody I grew up and went to school with has a kid. It’s funny goin’ on FB and seein a rash of females around my age gettin preggers for the first time; they feel that clock slowin’ down…

    1. ^shit same here!!!!
      and they looking at you like play dates and diaper genies.
      i’m good.
      here i am trying to manifest my own home

  5. Idk… everyone who was all that in High School I remember, they all look old, overweight and tired now. Meanwhile, I still look young, sexy af and have a great personality. Oh most of them are married and have kids too. Smh…I dont see how folks put up with the stress of an organized Biblical relationship. This Disney love story where they end up happy and then dying and losing each other still.. (Sorry if that sounded negative it wasn’t really my intention..I was just trying to say….)

    I’m glad gay men can’t have kids traditionally. I’m glad the option for us is adoption. I made a joke (or was it) to my employees the other day and I was like..I’m too wild for marriage. My folks better not expect that from me. I’m going to travel the world and be a free agent..

    Oh, so you admitting to being a ho?

    No, Im admitting that I don’t follow heterosexual values and I don’t have to settle for one person. I know that I can connect with many people and if that does lead to sex, so be it. I practice safe sex and Im only interested in sapiosexuals, which you’re not.. Anything else you need to know Emily?

    Seriously, look at how fuked up straight couples are. They all are like carbon copies of each other. It’s like a programmed Disney movie where they believe they all have to live this happy family, suburban home, greener grass onothe other side with a dog life. Then you find out most of them are cheating, miserable and have “let themselves go” just to settle for each other’s presence. Most of the dudes work like slaves to provide for their families & since it’s how people are taught to be, based on instructions given by a senile man stuck in cave for a number of days, they keep up the tradition.

    I’m glad I’m dickly challenged. Men don’t get pregnant, we like sex, we like aggression, we like passion. We can nut for life & not have to worry about becoming a figure of support for clones. Leave that to the heterosexuals and let nature curve some of the kids into LGBTQ choir members.

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