FUCK! FUCK! SHIT! FUCK! SHIT!

SMFH.


My world has a series of ups and downs.
I should have a damn reality show with all this fuckery going on,
One minute, I am up and then the next,
I am somewhere on the ground floor wandering around in the lobby.
Sometimes I want to tell Satan, “Oh ok very funny! What’s next?”

… and then I realize he ain’t joking.
He is very intent on making my life hell.
Or, is it me?
Am I the cause of my own problems and I just don’t realize it?
I started to wonder:

Are these my lessons…. or my lapse in the right judgement?

Last night I was writing an amazing entry ironically as I usually do.
I mean, I was going in.
Suddenly, my computer just turned off.
Puzzled, I turned it back on and it would not boot up.
I unplugged it for a while,
made some tea,
came back and still the same outcome.

WHAT.
THE.
ACTUAL.


I called my neighbor who is a computer whiz and he came over.
He said my computer is pretty much dead.
I can either go and get it fixed (which will cost me more) OR get a new computer.
That would be great, if I didn’t spend all my savings paying off bills for the New Year.
All in all, I have a wonderful 600 in my savings.
Don’t judge me.
So now I’m computerless for a month or two until I can save up my cash for a new computer.
This means I have to wait until I get to work to type up an entry.
I’m so turned off from Microsoft that I refuse to go get any old Windows computer.
I have decided to go Apple this go around.

I had to ask myself if this was my fault?
Sure, the computer conking out wasn’t on my end,
but the screen was turning bluish-greenish months ago.
I couldn’t get it fixed because I was WAY out of warranty.
So, I just ignored it and I guess that was my computer throwing up red flags.

Did I mention I lost all my files and programs?

Sigh.

THANK GOD I did not buy Microsoft Office 2007 last week.

As I lay in bed last night,
I started to wonder about how and why things happen the way they do…
If I was proactive with my computer months ago, would I be in this situation now?
Am I in some kind of karma-tic lesson I am paying for?
If I had paid off my bills a long time ago and had more expendable cash,
I would probably be in the clear today.
Or, is this all just how life is?
A series of bumpy roads one route.
You come to a red, but ignored it and went green.
… and then a car crash out the blue?

Sometimes I feel like I am not thinking wisely…
while others, I am the smartest Fox alive.

When it comes to sudden disasters…

Why does it make us feel like it is the end of the road?

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

12 thoughts on “FUCK! FUCK! SHIT! FUCK! SHIT!

  1. Awww damn Jamari sorry to hear that, see it sounds as if the motherboard has burned out and it would start up or anything or that the power module is blown. This is bad but fixable. I always thought you had a Macbook Pro this entire time.

    I believe that we receive signs and the sign you received early you didn’t think was as severe until it was too late. I think that you feel this way because like me, my computer is a essential life line and all I can say is its going get better, it just has to.

    1. ^my next computer will be MacBook!
      I am more than positive I will get it.
      But time goes extremely slow when you have a need.

      I’ll just keep having faith something amazing will happen.

  2. It’s just one of those things I guess. Yea you def. missed the sign of the screen changing colors, that’s what happened to my other computer. It will be ok man.

  3. Hey J at the end of the day, its a machine and they do give out, no matter what type of preventive steps you could have taken. Its frustrating but hey you have dealt with alot worse, and came out on top. I question myself about shit as well about what I could have done to prevent a certain situation; I think it stems from the fact that we want to control everything and we got to realize that we really cant control nothing. On another note things like this seem worse because we dont have a shoulder to cry on, If you had a fine ass wolf their with you I bet you wouldnt even sweat it as much, especially if he told you, I got this(smile).

    Now you can put you a paypal icon on your site for donations, I got $5 on it dawg, we got to be creative in this tough economy.

  4. Had a similar issue bout this time last year. Thankfully, my tax return was on its way (I know, #niggashit), and I was only w/o my Mac for about 10 days. Hopefully, your employer is quick with the W-2’s.

  5. It happens. But if you haven’t thrown the computer away, take out the hard drive. Just because the motherboard died doesn’t mean all your data is lost. Just be careful when you remove it (or have a pro do it) – too much static electricity will wipe out your drive (or any strong magnets near it). Make sure you put it in a static-proof bag for safe keeping until you get your new one; you could even see if they can convert your old hard drive to a portable one to connect to your new machine (when you get it). The only issue may be if you had a password on your account, but even that can be bypassed.

    In the future – backup, backup, BACKUP. And sh*t happens, how you respond to it is what’s important. You’ll make it 🙂

    And congrats on getting your bills paid off

  6. You probably havent noticed, but Ive complained several times on this very site about not being able to view vids from my phone. Im always on my phone because my comp conked out on me several months ago,,,And guess what…I still havent got it fixed…Now money is a factor, but its more so the fact that Im not taking a computer that has a hard drive full of gay sex to a shop. Now they do have techs that come to ur house, but thats where money factors in because that is even more expensive…Shit happens. Being without a comp has pushed me to the brink of insanity. Hell, what I do for a living requires a comp for many things, and…..It is what it is. I blamed visiting porn sites for giving me a virus, I blamed myself for having nothing better to do than watching porn,,,,Karma, a curse, what am I doing wrong, why is God punishing me,,,,We all go thru that shit….

    Now my fucking phone is conking out on me. I honestly believe sprint is behind it. I believe that they want everyone to upgrade to the iphone, so all of a sudden there other phones are acting shitty…Hell Im broke as fuck from Christmas. I was honestly sitting here this morn prior to reading this thinking damn I fucked up. I fucked up buying toys for my niece and nephew. I fucked up buying clothes for my cousin…Yea hes 19, but I didnt want him going back east for school without a nice winter coat. I fucked up getting in the Christmas spirit,,,I fucked up cooking for my mother. I didnt want to start off the New Year going thru the same troubles,,,But guess what-I am….Oh well, there goes the positive thinking and The Secret and all that bullshit….Maybe its karma, maybe its bad luck, maybe its the end of the storm right before the sunlight, or maybe its just life. Hey be greatful you payed off some bills,,,,I aint even done that….I guess I do feel a lil better now knowing I aint the only one who lays up wondering what the fuck am I doing wrong?!?!?!!!….

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