f0xmail: I’m A Professional Who Is Tired of Paying For Escorts. Please Help!


Good Afternoon Jamari!

I wanted to tell a sincere thanks for brightening up my day and providing insight into this “life.” As you know, being a fox or hybrid is especially tough when you are smart, handsome, and about your business.

Despite the weather (which I hope all of the eastern seaboard is doing well), I need your assistance. In this cold and lonely world of the southern concrete jungle AKA Atlanta, I am facing the dilemma of dating and building meaningful relationships and friendships.  Bc I have decent resources and a nice personality, I have enlisted the services of escorts. Some of them are off the chain body wise and getting some dry humping.

Its exciting but its only for a moment. You get the fantasy but not the realness of a conversation or intimacy. I have one that I had to tell him how to hold me and how to let me ride him. But you would think that in his profession he would make me moist. No sir!

The other one was a regular nigga that was gay for pay that did the most but there was no emotional connection. I get more moist looking off your website than the real thing.

Jamari.. I need your advice because I’m tired of paying out of pocket for love and false intimacy. I am a professional black man and my next step is the on-line dating but I’m worry about the privacy and what is legitimate.  I’m tired of being lonely and I want more and demand more.



they are usually blow up dolls or nice arm candy.
don’t feel bad.
if i pay for an escort,
he is going work for all my money.
if i need to fuck him upside down.
he will get a ladder.

in the lifestyle of being a professional is a challenge.
you are looking for someone who shares the same views as yourself,
while making the same amount of money.

you aren’t into late nights at the clubs and hiv scares.
you are into early meetings and late nights in general.
not a lot of people understand that.
plus, let’s not get on when a black man gets some kind of money.
some wolves/foxes/and hybrids end up being sell outs or love snow angels.
then the ones who THINK they are professional are always users and second class hoes.

it is a tough road, lonely.
one that i can say i am walking on.
i’m not making “professional money” yet,
but i carry myself like one.
sometimes i want to do ratchet shit with my hoodrat friends,
but i know that shit can all come back to bite me in the ass
and not in the good way.

i get a lot of emails from d/l and discreet professional wolves who are not out,
but who manage to meet their fair share of foxes.
when i didn’t have a site,
i also met my share of professional wolves and hybrids.

sadly, it all starts online.
jack’d = in.
bgc and a4a = out.
online dating is still the only way to meet a fox being someone not “out there“,
but you have to go through the bullshit in order to meet someone decent.

so my suggestion is:

  • make a profile and only use a body shot (or no shot at all).
  • do not tell anyone your profession
  • go through a screening process before you meet.
  • meet in a secure location with lots of people.

another suggestion is to role play.
pretend you are NOT a professional when looking for someone.
you are just a regular kat.
you don’t have a fat bank account.
you don’t work for a good company.

you are now “andre” who works at abercrombie and fitch.
you work mon, tues, fri, sat, and sun.
you like amusement parks and snow cones.

you are bringing a clean slate to the table.
when this person passes your qualifications,
then you reveal who you really are.

im already turned on.

i’m sure my comment section will help.
i have every kind of fox, wolf, and hybrid reading.
some maybe baller wolves,
own their own companies,
and other careers that involve being down low, or even discreet.
hang in there.


Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

12 thoughts on “f0xmail: I’m A Professional Who Is Tired of Paying For Escorts. Please Help!”

  1. I live in ATL as well and I don’t have many friends here. The few I do have, they are much older. I know what lonely feels like and I am only 29. I have been on both sides of spectrum so I understand what is going on out there. Xem Van Adams did a video about the escorts and the pretty boys and they have some of the ugliest stories. I advise you to stay away from them. I like Facebook because you can learn so much about a person there. Where they come from, what their families are like, stuff you won’t find on those other ‘dating’ sites. Like Jamari said, you will meet a lot of dogs out there but there are some good people out there. Even some, who are just ‘stuck’ in life. I don’t know what it is like to be on the DL or to be super private so i can’t relate. There are good people in ATL and sadly they are hard to find. I hope you find what you are looking for though…

  2. Sorry, don’t get it. Why pay for something women and dudes are giving away for free by the truckloads? Hell, you can get false intimacy for free! I don’t want to hear that “paying for discretion” shit either because you giving them your money is not a legally binding contract. These escorts can still tell your business or videotape you and blackmail you later.

    The reality is, there is no answer to his question. The longer you frequent these online websites and the longer you put yourself out there the less lowkey you become. After a while you become “known” without even being on the scene in person. You may as well have your pics open and completely accurate info on your profile like facebook.

  3. Looking at this from a different angle. I sense this dude like many professional dudes have a certain type and a dude like himself who is professional is probably not it. If he is paying for escorts he is probably looking for an attractive masculine wolf, who spends more time at the gym, than on a 9-5. Sorry bro, most of these types of dudes whether escorts or not are not going to be that financially sound and more than likely will be intimidated by your success. In my own world, most of the professional, attractive brothers like myself, are rarely attracted to other professional like themselves. Personally, I am a college educated professional who can hold his own weight, but usually when I find a dude who is comparable, he is either out of shape, boring, egoistical, or all of the above because has arrived and think of himself as a great catch.

    In this life we all have certain types and if you are honest, in this lifestyle you will date way down the totem pole if a bro is fine and good looking. Men are just visual. I have never been attracted to a dude who had a good heart, but a big stomach. I just cant do it. Met a cool bro just a couple of weeks ago, who was paid, he was a bit arrogant, and his body was eh. I tried to turn over a new leaf and give him a chance because for once he was treating and also pretty much told me, he had everything but someone to share his life with. I could have probably used him since he was attracted to me, but I always follow the golden rule of doing unto others, and I really cant get with no one Im not attracted too, no matter how long your paper.

    The best advice I can give is to work on yourself, and become the person you want to attract, you made need a wardrobe makeover, a body makeover or just a new attitude. When you start working on yourself, you find out things about yourself and become more confident and you start to attract people to you.

    1. Yea work on yourself. In the meantime while your finding the inner you how bout you work on your game. How good are you at clocking men? How is your swag? Are you attractive? Do you come off as approachable? If you see a fine dude you want, can you start a conversation? Can you tell if someone is trying to pull one over on you. You can find somebody but youre going to have to put in some work. You can do the online thing also but your location is in your favor. Youre in Atlanta! Go to Piedmont Park. 10th St. has a predominately gay neighborhood. Walk Midtown and Downtown. Thats where lots of professional people are. Youve gots to put yourself out there!

      1. I agree with you Ronnie, but as long as he doesn’t get carried away and puts himself too out there too much. Most of us know you can’t tell everybody your biz. So you have to be careful who you talk to. You have find a man who is low key and doesn’t have a reputation to keep. Discreet guys are the best ones to look for because many of them don’t have a wives, girlfriends, and are comfortable with their sexuality,but they are hard to spot though. More than likely you won’t find love and happiness with a man who makes just as much money as you do. If your standards are that high, it’s a good idea to lower them to increase your chances of finding a mate. Don’t lower them too much though. It’s nothing wrong with average guys either as long as they aren’t ugly. Personally, I never would want someone who looks just as good as I do cause some men get caught up in their looks too much and I’m not fighting with a dude over who looks better and shit.

  4. I think its also important to look into the differences between primary and secondary values when it comes to finding a mate. Figure out whats REALLY important and what things can be compromised on. If you want a boyfriend, you have to set boundaries and understand what your values are. Spending a lot of time with escorts will often distort one’s ideas about men and how they should act in terms of being with someone. You must understand what emotional unavailability is within yourself and someone else. You must learn what your boundaries are. You must learn how to COMMUNICATE with men. These things will come with trial and error in your own dating life. The first step is putting yourself out there to meet real men.

  5. In addition to all that, you’re in Atlanta. It shouldn’t be hard to find someone to date…might be difficult finding someone low-key, but I know they’re out there. Do some research on Twitter & FB

If you wouldn't say it on live TV with all your family and friends watching, without getting canceled or locked up, don't say it on here. Stay on topic, no SPAM, and keep it respectful. Thanks!

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