my friend said to me over the weekend:

“life is really testing you right now.
you got a big blessing on the way.”

i need blessing with an s.
it felt good to hear but when you’re in it,
it can feel condescending AF.
last week was utter chaos.

a major blowup at the beginning of the week.
a heavy walking on eggshells the middle of the week.
a 10-person sleepover at the end of the week.
a weekend guest over the weekend.
a no real space to breathe all around.

i had an anxiety attack on friday when i saw 10 people trying to squeeze in here,
and then add on top of that…

can i font that i have a brand new hatred…

MOVING.

Lord have mercy,
i hate the entire process of moving.
thank God i had help from great people buuutttttttttt…

Foxhole…

i’m so fuckin tired of bad news every fuckin’ Goddamn day.

like…

i spent the last few days on my back.
worn out wasn’t the word.
i ended up sleeping a majority of the days.
you know how i said i had all these plans a few entries down?

Play: Zelda
Clean: My crib
Watch: “Queen’s Gambit”

well…

Continue reading “when you get worn out and can’t leave the bed for hours.” →

foxhole…
after scrolling through my twitter timeline,
looking at friends ig stories in protest,
and seeing all frustration within the black community,
i just laid on my couch for about 20 minutes staring out the window.
things are so horrible right now.
from:

The Rona
All this racism
Black lives being taken
Unemployment at an all time high
The President doing absolutely nothing but just ranting

…and then my own personal life and the issues going on with mi.
it’s like i have no words at this moment about it all.
this is all i could muster up…

Continue reading “i’m not in a good place today (what’s going on?)” →

i’m exhausted for whatever reason.
well,
i know the reason.
these last two weeks at work have been high priority drama.
it’s been extra busy for absolutely no reason.
for such a small office setting…

Continue reading “mercury is fuckin’ me hard and i don’t like it.” →