i didn’t ask to foster to a puppy.
i never liked the idea because i know me.
i’ll get close to an animal,
bond with it,
love it,
and train it only to then let it gotta go to someone else.
living here has been heavy on impulses with light chaos tbh,
so this puppy has been my peace.
i had the option to adopt and even though its a few hundred,
it’s not on my budget especially with the apartment deadline over my head.
well apparently in a message today…

“we need to take more pictures of her.
the fostering place said she is generating a lot of interesting in adoption”

…and i broke down.
i cried because in this season in my lfe,
it feels so heavy.

i‘ve loved this puppy so much,
she waits by my bed for me when i come in.
since we are pretty much home during the day,
i have bonded with her more than the person i stay with.

like my old apartment,
i gotta give up something that i fell in love with.
besides loving this puppy,
i feel depressed that when/if she leaves for her forever home:

i’m still going to be here trying to get to mine.

lowkey: i wish it was both of us going off to our forever home together.
it’s so ironic she is 3 months old and i got here 3 months ago.