facts.
one of my favorite words to say.
i’m someone who makes some decisions or conclusions based off emotions.
i’m a raging cancer and at times,
i’m not afraid to use it.
that’s the problem tho…

What are the facts?

the pretty vixen taught me something i always bypass in my life.
i might be late af,
but i’m always down to sharing with the foxhole…

when presented with a challenge or dilemma,
what are the facts?
are we looking at things through logic?
or,
are we coming to answers based on emotions?

Emotions are not facts

detectives don’t solve crimes off emotions.
someone’s husband gets murdered and their emotions say it was the wife,
but the facts are it was really the side piece who was dumped so he could work on his marriage.
we can create a whole story based off of “how we feel” or “what we think is happening“.
none of it is truth.
sometimes our intuitions pick up on things,
but we can be totally off a majority of the time.

I’m guilty of doing this when I’m interested in someone

i’ll look at things through an emotional lens rather than a logical one.
so thoughts like:

“Why would he like me?”

he is doing all this shit to prove he does.
i’m not a monster so men will be attracted to me.

“He isn’t single.”

nothing on his timeline even hints he is in a relationship/talking to someone.
i’m thinking this because that is my worst fear and proof he isn’t interested.

“He doesn’t like me because of ‘such and such a reason’…”

where is the proof of this?
has he told me this?
have i heard he said this about me?
where are the facts?

i started to wonder…

Have I made a lot of mistakes due to looking at things emotionally?

i’m trying to learn to lower the volume of that side of me.
the problem is it poisons you with insecurity and doubt.
one of the foxholers sent me this the other day and it was real:

My therapist taught me this trick.

When you feel anxious that someone is mad at you, doesn’t like you or that things are worse than they actually are, ask yourself:

“Who told you that?”
Typically you won’t have an answer & you’ll learn that it’s all in your head.

Pass it on.

— Nabela Noor (@Nabela) July 14, 2020

“who told you that”?
“did your emotions tell you this“?
“or did your logic“?
this response tho:

100%. or, as my therapist put it, “stop using other people to think terrible things about yourself.” pic.twitter.com/3xwZqJ9vSH

— jen brown (@elkiewoods) July 14, 2020

WHEW!
peeled my scalp all the way back.
take a second to breathe and come back into getting the facts.
it will be no good in a relationship or future goals if i can’t work on that.
they’ve already destroyed my past situations and relationships,
but i think it stems from disappointment with similar results.
i’m trying to be better.

low-key: thank you for those who allow me to use my blog to express myself.
i often whoosh after i write stuff like this.