i’m not perfect.
if you’ve been following me on the foxhole,
you know that i go through many different emotions.
i can experience many different mood swings,
no pop smoke tho.
some can say that’s the cancer zodiac in me.
we are a very emotional tribe.
it can be my fault as well.
when i write certain personal and transparent entries,
i don’t expect a big turn out.
entries like that are for me to vent so i can get it out.
i do want to font something about the foxhole tho…
the emotionals have been on 1000.
there is pressure in my chest.
i’ve been crying off and on.
every time i sit still,
i start dwelling on things and people i know/like/maybe love(?).
i’ve had no energy to write anything tbh.
the thought of sleeping all day has been the move.
i slept off and on during election day.
wtf is happening to me?
one of my favorite words to say.
i’m someone who makes some decisions or conclusions based off emotions.
i’m a raging cancer and at times,
i’m not afraid to use it.
that’s the problem tho…
What are the facts?
the pretty vixen taught me something i always bypass in my life.
i might be late af,
but i’m always down to sharing with the foxhole…
when we are cubs,
we usually have one main emotion that pushes us.
joy is what made us bright eyed and bushy tailed to be alive.
we see the world as one big adventure.
with the help of our parents,
we learn how to use joy to experience love.
as we grow however,
and shit happens throughout our lives,
we get introduced to the different emotions within us…
i have always been an open book when it came to my emotions.
i know it’s not the “manly” thing to do,
but i’d rather others know what’s bothering me than bottling it up.
with that being said,
i often asked myself:
Are males supposed to be emotional?
it’s like we’re supposed to lie in order to be considered a “man”.
the almighty male!
the one who bangs a lot of ho
les and wears designer clothes!
hear us roar!
well that won’t be me.
judging from how the foxhole has been my “emotional journey” since ’09,
i guess many relate in some way or another.
thank you to those who continue not to judge me since then.
i saw a quote from viola davis the other day that represents me.
as you know,
viola is one of my favorite actresses.
this is a quick quote on what she told essence via the root…
Continue reading “It’s Sexy To Be A Hole Banging, Emotionally Pit less, Money Loving Volcano”
i am the problem maker.
that’s not exactly the most positive thing to say.
every so often,
i’m able to see the error in my ways and call myself out.
i don’t know.
i’ve noticed how i can be on the straight and narrow.
things could be going well and i’m on top of the mountain.
something will happen,
and i’ll be knocked off and down on my knees in the valley.
a dark one where traps are set everywhere.
the traps the enemy has set to feel worse about myself.