the dance of the dl and discreet

my horoscope told me i needed to people watch today.
that i did.
it’s interesting what you’ll see when you pay attention.
i did that on my way to work today and spotted something familiar.
something those of us in the life know all too well.
a dance that some of us have done on more than one occasion…

it happened on on the train platform as i was waiting to go to work.
i had my music on full blast today.
music choice of the day was “diana ross and the supremes”.


i woke up feeling like i wanted to listen to “my world is empty without you”.

i ended up getting into their “anthology” album on spotify.
good shit.

anyway,
as i stood there,
i saw this tall black male walking on the other platform.
from where i stood,
he was quite attractive.

tall ( 6’0/6’2 )
black coat
black jeans
wheat tims
grey beanie

he had a really handsome face.
he was looking at his phone with his headphones in his hands.
i figured he was trying to find something to listen to.

at the same time,
i noticed a shorter black male walk up to the edge of the platform.

he was shorter ( 5’6 to 5’8 )
salmon colored jacket
dark blue sweats
black sneakers
blonde tips in his hair

he was cute,
but i noticed that he had a really nice tail.
it wasn’t too fat or flat.
it was those “just right cheeks”.
the sweats was giving all the roundness and definition.
this is when the dance started:

the tall one saw the shorter one first.
he decided to stand in the same vicinity as the short one.
he leaned up against the wall,
pretending to look at his phone,
but he was giving sneak glances here and there.
the short one would walk from the wall to the edge of the platform,

while holding his phone infront of him,
and then look at the taller one and then look off.

the shorter one kept circling around the tall one.
i guess it was him peeing around him to warn the rest of us.

suddenly,
the shorter one goes and leans up close to where the taller one was.
they both were pretending to look at their phones.

when the train came,
the taller one got on first and the shorter one followed.

what happened after that is anyone’s guess.
i know it made me horny af.

there is a side of me that hopes numbers were exchanged.
the shorter one seemed very brave about what he wanted.
the taller one seemed to have been going with it.
i haven’t had a dance like that in years.
hell,
i’ve never successfully gotten a number doing that either.
 i must say,
to watch it while it’s happening is pretty exciting.

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

16 thoughts on “the dance of the dl and discreet

  1. a friend of mine is a master at ‘the dance’. all he messes with is dl dudes, so he knows the signs & what not. me? that shit goes right over my head.

    i remember telling my friend about a situation i had a few years ago when i was walking home from the club. by myself and drunk(stupid i know). when i was passing the train station, this lightskin dude was walking across the street. he asked for a lighter, i replied nicely that i didnt have one and kept it pushing. this foo gon ask if he could holla at me for a second and i peeped he was grabbing his dick too. i was like nah im good. i was walking backwards because i didnt know what type of shit he was on. you know what this n*gga said to me?

    “if i wanted to hurt you, i woulda had my n*ggas across the street shot yo ass.” LOOOL

    it wasnt funny at that moment but looking back at it, im like wow ppl is really crazy out here. anywho, my friend ended up telling me that the train station i passed was a hook up spot. dudes take the train from san francisco and be out “looking”. especially dl/trade dudes. i guess dude thought i was out hoe strolling smh

    1. ^OH HAYLLLEEEE…
      he woulda had his pineapple shoot you?
      nah homie.

      see i get into those situations.
      i think folks that are successful in this are brave af.
      i applaud them for their bravery.

      1. yes jamari, shoot me smh. this nut even followed me! i think i fast walked backwards a full block LOL. after he seen i wasn’t down with the foolery, he left me alone because i was “trippin”.

  2. Jamari I don’t know WHY I’m so tickled at envisoning this whole situation through your eyes, all while The supremes blare through your earbuds lmao!!!

  3. See my issue is I have vitiligo so ppl are always staring at me and I never know who actually wants to take a byte and who is just looking like wtf and idk if it’s cause I’m black, gay, my vitiligo, or all of the above because ppl are always staring for multiple reasons at all of us because of who we are and knowing who has the right intentions is not a guessing game one wants to play too often.

    1. I grew up in a country where this things are dangerous (cameroon). I ve myself been detained and racketed two times there. So even if i don t live there anymore, i m stil very cautious with these situations. Sounds great on paper but unless someone gets his D out and tells me explicetely he is interested, i m not making a move and just keep looking

  4. Everytime I say I don’t like something, the Universe tries to humble me and shows me that I don’t know what I’m talking about.

    I’m the kind of person who a guy will flirt with and I’ll make excuses saying he was just being friendly. I don’t want to be the thirsty gay man, so I constantly curve people without noticing.

    Valentine’s Day doesn’t matter. It’s how he makes you feel every other day of the year. There was a VERY slow dance with this guy. Things went awry. We haven’t spoken for a year. I also didn’t see him. Out of sight. Out of mind.

    The Universe placed him back into my path. I didn’t know if he’d act like he didn’t know me, so I didn’t say anything. He didn’t at first, either. So then he starts asking me for help, when I know he knows exactly what he’s doing. Then, in front of several colleagues, says if I need anything, just to ask.

    Jamari, it was the WAY he said it. My friend and I discussed how I have a problem accepting people wanting to do things for me. If I get asked if I want a music change in a Lyft, I say, “Oh, no. The music’s fine”, even though it may be some mess I don’t want to hear. If I get asked, “Is there anything else I can help you with?”, I go “Oh no thank you. That’s all”, when there are 50 more things I need help with. I have this self-sufficient-don’t-bother-anyone spirit that I need to cast out.

    My friend said it comes off like I feel like I don’t deserve to be treated well. When someone offers me the world, I feel put on the spot and like all of the attention shouldn’t be put on me. So men get very frustrated as I don’t let them pay for anything or help me in any way. Independence is cute, but being loved, is someone else DOING for you. I even do this stupid thing where if I’m holding the door open and a guy tells me to go ahead, my stubborn self will stay there holding it open until he snatches the door from me.

    I said all of that to say, closed mouths don’t get fed. The awkward not wanting to impose attitude is not cute and will have a guy think you’re not feeling him.

    Knowing somebody would do anything in the world for you should be a wonderful feeling. Not a burden. Not a “Oh, you don’t have to do all that”. When it’s genuine, say “Thank you”, shut up and accept that you are worth all of the effort. If anyone else has a problem being spoiled, loved on, whatever, I hope that they see this and it brings about some self-awareness.

    Yes, he’s discreet. And despite saying I wouldn’t deal with such a guy, the Universe has screwed up all of my, “I’ll never” oaths. There’s a reason they say to “Never say never”. You never know how things will change. I think this man put some spell on me. I was absentmindedly writing his name over and over and find myself saying his name under my breath. I. Don’t. Do. That. LORD!

  5. I can tell the signs…I can spot a DL and you can too. It’s not hard at all after experience. Don’t forget, we are all men (most of us). You might can’t tell what someone is thing exactly but if you pay attention you can.

    I remember this one dude I don’t like. I remember him asking me one day, do I have an old lady. He asked this randomly & I thought it weird. I really caught on to him tho. When he would she me, he’d look out of the corner of his. I figured he wanted to fuk me in the ass or do something on the low. I never liked him tho cause I don’t do the cheat on girl behind her back stuff. That’s too lowdown and I have a conscience.

    But I learn how to read DL dudes well. Y’all need to stop acting clueless. If you pay attention, you can easily tell..Pay attention to their eyes. Men look at things they like…staring is a sign of two things: Interest or Disgust. The latter turns heads and is accompanied with a look that is unpleasant.

    I got my bf with the gaze. The gaze seals the deal. How I found out he liked me. We had an event and he was sitting down looking lost…So I decided to walk by rather slowly. As I was walking by he tried to look up at me and I turned suddenly and caught his eyes with mines and continued to walk while looking him dead in his eyes. I caught that niggas gaze.

    Being a gay man allows us to tap into that feminine energy too. I gave him that “I want you look”.

    Later, when we were taking pictures for our event he was behind me. The photographer told our group to come closer together. I backed up and I felt his hand against my booty. Then I felt like maybe he was moving it and it pressed against my left check. I kid you not my dik got hard almost instantly..lol

    1. im like jamari, continue!

      very true about gay men & feminine energy. feminine energy is receptive and very seductive but in a subtle way

      1. I learned that in college for sure. I had figured why some straight men liked some trannies and why DL dudes talk bad about fems but still go after them. The feminine energies. Not ever DL dude is attracted to fems but that feminine energy tho. How bout that. Trannies use that to full effect. When I was younger I used to always wonder why they pulled those fine dudes. And I figured out why.

        My God sister is a lesbian & her “brothers” are actually dudes that dress like females. I said a long time in a post about this. She told me exactly how the trannies pull men because they came and told her afterwards. I learned about them using that energy but doing it more so by actually taking on the image of a woman.

        I’m masculine but I had methods of switching my demeanor without changing my image fully. It worked when I was in school. Some DL dudes will like you, some of them will hate you. Usually the ones that HATE you are jealous because they are : bottoms (who feel like you might be competition or think you are a bottom too and prefer masculine tops. You rarely see masculine bottoms wanting fem tops.) & the ones that feel you might expose them on the spot.

        Some other foxholers have brought up some interesting ways too. The business card one is classic for sure. A lot of business oriented dudes be fucking around like that.

        She also told me that they talk about dudes being in the DL, their are a lot of DL females too and no one bats an eyelash. There are just as many DL white men & no one says too much either.

        Anyways, the feminine energy does work. I’m sure others here know about “that gaze.” If you feel some vibes from a dude like I did from my bf…It might be your energies connecting. It’s not about staring. It’s about connecting. There’s a reason why the say the eyes are the key to the soul. Send that energy. I had it on my mind to fuck him…cause I gave him that look and that energy transfer. It works..don’t want to go on and on about it tho in a long post.

  6. Well one of my excursions was in Old Navy…single dad kept ending up in the section I was shopping in….at first I’m thinking “this brother is not following me…” So after the third coincidental meet up….I got bold and say “What’s good,bruh?..He responds….”I’m trying to find out..” We burst out laughing in the store cause we’re both in our 40’s acting like 10th graders on the stroll…Had great adult convo…nice 4 year old son…I guess or bro magnet. Looked like him anyway. ..J, we ended up exchanging numbers…got the date…got the smash…it was grown and sexy. Happened bout twice…schedules n shit, ya know. I was kinda proud..even though he persued me…wasn’t used to that. lol

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