as i watch “insecure” this season,
i totally get where issa and molly are coming from.
there was a point in star fox and i friendship where i said:
“I’m not fuckin’ with Star Fox anymore…”
i remember when we had our first official fight.
it was a big one after he left to go down to atlanta for school.
low-key: sometimes i wish he would have picked the high paying job,
but i knew he was restless and wanted to pursue his dreams.
it was a few months into when he arrived down south…
we use to talk all the time,
but as soon as he got down there,
he was immersed in the nightlife and the new friends.
he was on bgc,
and a4a getting his unapologetic whore on.
days i thought he would be in school,
he would be hung over and sleeping in.
he would be fuckin’ randoms he met off the sites.
after not hearing from him for while,
he was acting brand new on the phone in front of his new “friends”.
I let him have it
in typical cancer fashion,
i went tf off on him.
he told him i made him cry that day.
i’m a werewolf when it comes to my friendships.
that’s not what he went down to atlanta to do.
he went to achieve a career in a whole as state by himself.
it wasn’t to be hoping on random ass dicks and partying every night,
all while complaining about not having much money.
he had to wait to get money from his mother at times.
his family wasn’t as supportive to him as his other siblings.
he couldn’t be out there wildin’ out like he didn’t have any common sense.
after i blacked on him,
he got his shit together.
he ended dropping out school,
did some couch surfing,
getting little jobs,
wolves he was dating gave him money,
and working with local acts who needed help being styled.
he was on the right path.
it’s a shame that one of the “friends” he trusted killed him.
as i watch “insecure”,
i understand the tension between molly and issa.
somewhere during a friendship,
something takes a left and one (both) of you see it.
we have all gone through it.
some bounce back; others breakup.
for star fox and i,
this was different than when he decided to go “straight for Jesus”.
he politely told me what the deal was and i understood.
most gays or bisexuals who grow up in church deal with this.
with the fight in atlanta,
it was a mixture of seeing where things headed south,
no pun intended,
and my jealousy over him.
i loved him and wanted to see him achieve higher heights.
i expect my friends to go hard for me as well.