i’ve been feeling so off this week.
i was sick,
but there was more going on too.
i did not understand why,
but i felt depressed for no reason at all.
things have been going pretty well.

job is going good
skin is looking like smooth caramel
money could be better but i’m not in struggle city
wolves on the streets been sniffing around my parts
going out alone and enjoying my own company
the foxhole has been engaging with great debate/topics

so what could possibly be bothering me?
as soon as i looked at the calendar…

Continue reading “The Week Before He Died” →

 there was a cub i use to know that crossed my mind recently.
star fox knew him too.
when i met him,
he was like 10 or so.
like,
od youngin.
i saw him as a “little brother”,
but he was “different” for his young age.
the things he was doing…
well…
i’ve started to realize “why” he was…
Continue reading “The Age of Innocence When Getting Sexually Molested” →

so as you know,
i wrote something to star fox and sent it to his email.
i needed to vent,
but remember that feeling of him being alive.
well one of my foxhole favs,
jay,
wrote this in the comment:

You should write the response you know he would write. Perhaps he can help you. Either way, focusing on what he would say might be good for you.

…and i felt a chill.
so i wrote the response…
Continue reading “Emails From Those Who Can’t Write Back” →

when i feel the urge to do something,
i usually act on it.
other times,
i don’t and stay in a “what if?” place.
these days,
i usually go with my impulses.
something told me send star fox an email.
i know he won’t respond,
but i felt this urge to speak to him.
i felt down tonight and wanted to talk to someone.
he randomly popped in my mind.
since i still have his contact info in my phone,
i decided to draft up an email.
since i share everything with the foxhole,
i wanted to share what i wrote him…

Continue reading “Emails To Those Who Won’t Answer Back” →

i have to be honest with the foxhole today.
since star fox’s death anniversary is coming up,
i want to lay it out on the table.
i spoke to his mother and mentioned that i would font about it on the foxhole.
i asked her if i could share the real details of star fox passing.
at the time,
she didn’t want me to say anything to anyone that may know star fox.
i don’t know who reads this site,
or who knows who,
so i kept much of the details to his death quiet.
she gave me permission to share some of it…
Continue reading “The Death Behind The Star Fox” →

so this week was star fox’s death anniversary.
it was down,
but i still kept productive about it.
he wouldn’t want me to be a mess,
even though he loved putting me back together when i was.
so i called star fox’s mother tonight.
we have been kinda separated,
but we always come back around during this time.
well tonight,
she had a recent story to tell me…
Continue reading “The Wolf Who Wanted Some Tail That Didn’t Exist Anymore” →