Talk “Hood” To Me (That Really Gets My Juices Flowing)

you know what legit bugs me foxhole?

“yo whats up dog?”

“hey son!
whats up with you?”

“yo yo yo…
whats happening with you kid?”

…”hood talk” coming from those trying to be down.
i’m talking about white folks.
it’s rampant with the older ones who don’t realize how ignorant they sound.
now i’m not trying to sound prejudice,
but read me out…

so this older snow wolf,
who comes into my office periodically,
always speaks to me like that.
it’s like he feels he has to speak to me in my language to relate to me.
he comes at me like we grew up in the hood together,
but he knows he would go anywhere certain lines on the mta.
my new yawk foxhole know what i’m fontin’ about.
the other day he comes in the office and he sees me,
the first thing he is gonna say:

“yo jamari,
my son!
whats up?
is that you smelling so good in here dog?”

i looked at him like:

another time back,
he was shocked when he heard me listening to the backstreet boys.
listen i had “show me the meaning of being lonely” on repeat.
i am very diverse in my music,
as you already know.
he legit “‘gon said”:

“you know what i was listening to the other day?
wu tang.”

whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?
violation.

in all honesty,
it comes off fake and try hard.
i don’t like it.
it makes me nauseous.
i like white folks being white.
be yourself.

i don’t need you to adapt “hood talk”.
it is insulting to think we all talk like that.
bad enough when i see blacks switch up at work.
you at my desk talking “hood”,
but as soon as someone white comes around,
the voice goes a few octaves higher:

“omg!
hi molly!
how are you girl!”

i’m side eyeing this one sista in my office.
i don’t get it.
i’ve been seeing this a lot in corporate america.
it’s very strange.
i don’t change with anyone.
what you see is what you get with me.
i guess i’m more comfortable?

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Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

11 thoughts on “Talk “Hood” To Me (That Really Gets My Juices Flowing)

  1. I had a white guy on set tell me once.

    “You getting your gangster lean on man?”

    I just looked at him like he was crazy.

    First of all, just cause I’m black and relaxed doesn’t mean I’m a gangster…and second…you should say gangsta’ not “gangster”…It sounds like a corny line from a Kids Bop Album..

  2. I have a white colleague at work and while we’re good friends, he likes to try me and say “sup dawg” or some type of ebonics. I either check him or give him the look and just walk away. I even sent him this clip from Girls Trip for him to cut it out https://youtu.be/wXDgyuxBuBU

    I also remember this producer at work say to me after I told her I was into nature and wildlife and wanted to work for National Geographic. “Oh wow! I didn’t expect you to be into that” in my head, I was like “Really bitch, would you rather I say I wanted to make music videos or shoot basketball games?

    They just assume were all the same and then mind blown when we aren’t the stereotype..ugh

  3. They have no clue as to how ignorant they sound..One old memory comes back when I read this. I was sitting at the bar in Houston late 80’s and this guy sat next to me and started a conversation. Some how we started talking about travel and I said one of the countries I wanted to visit was Turkey. He looked at me and said “why would you want to go there? Didn’t you see Midnight Express?” I said No, but I read the Book!” He looked at me like I had two heads and said “YOU READ?” I actually laughed and replied “Yes and I can rub my head and pat my stomach at the same time as well!” It was a double insult. One was if I went to Turkey it would be to smuggle drugs and the second was we don’t read. To top it off the idiot was trying to pick me up! They really don’t have a clue as to who we are!

    1. Yo…one of my co-workers (one of our Directors no less) did that to me once.
      We were talking about something that happened in the news and I was telling her about another more detailed article about the subject, and she said with the most astonished look on her face, you know about that?

      I said to her, believe it or not we do read, and walked away. From that day forward she always tried to be nice, but she had a sarcastic tone to her conversations…and I wasn’t having it. I was not entertaining her foolishness, so she got nothing but “hi” and “bye” from me.

  4. I feel like the white people who do this mostly, do it with black people they don’t think are stereotypes. There was a scene is the first episode of the show Atlanta where a white did this to Donald glover’s Character, but switched up back to his normal speaking when talking to a meaner rougher build black man.

  5. So this is what you do next time, in your most soft spoken voice possible ask him ” why you talking like that.” Make sure to say it with a smile so they don’t feel you are being rude or aggressive lol

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