god always gives you signs.
it’s up to you to catch them.

i can admit now,
i was a little slow on catching the signs with work wolf.
in my memories,
i see the good times we had.
that is what makes me miss him.
i am now remembering the shit he did that hurt my feelings.
“since you been gone”…
i’m seeing the bad side of things.
bad enough i have to see him everyday.

so today,
something lead me to pick up a book i was reading.
“no more mr. nice guy” by robert glover.
it was a really good read.
i still don’t know why i stopped in the first place.
so as i’m reading the book on my lunch break,
agreeing with a lot that was being said in the first chapter,
i read this…
Continue reading “No More Mr. Nice “You Know What?”” →

last week was stress.

like…
where is the straight jacket?
so much went down that i felt i was about to lose my shit.
from:

the craziness that is my job
some shit that went down with work wolf
not being able to start my therapy

i literally felt myself falling off my mountain.
a mountain that i worked so hard recently to climb back up.
in a nut shell…
Continue reading “A Blessing Should Be On The Way (Optimism?)” →

that feeling when…
someone you were once cool with…
someone you had a bond with…
someone you thought was different than the rest…
leaves your life with no explanation.
not only that,
but they act like you don’t exist to them anymore.

they turn their head as you walk by
tries to avoid you
suddenly becoming distant and closed off

they hold what you did wrong as their own secret.
no way can you even explain yourself or even fix the issue.
everything is left unsaid.

that is my relationship with work wolf as of this moment.
it would be better if i didn’t have to see him everyday.
the silent treatment brings back many memories for me…
Continue reading “How We Hurt Others and Not Even Realize It” →

i am not a hoe.
i.
am.
not.
a.
hoe.
now i have “ho-like” tendencies,
but you already knew this.
if you are going to try and pass me off as a street walker,
i do require 100% of all profits i generate.
it’s cold and daddy needs a new long johns!
room,
board,
and a fancy new wardrobe is also required.
i don’t “do” an episode of “hooker at the point”.
oh…
“bigger and blacker” = your american express.
i’m worth it.
don’t be cheap.
so not attractive.
whew.
i needed to get that off my chest.

okay,
back to the real point of this early morning entry.
lets talk about your heart.
some have forgotten where that is located.
you know,
since the thermostat is all the way down to “sled dog’s tits”.
for those who “feel” the bad shit that happens to them,
it is never fun to have your heart broken.
now…
Continue reading “Broken Hearts Leave Stains (Try Wearing Red)” →

“Lol Jamari you sound like you just broke up with your boyfriend.
Don’t have that pineapple turning you into a long Adele video.” – one of my fav foxholers in an email

i think what hurt my feelings was treating me like i didn’t exist.
that is the part that stings the most.
i’ll tell you all because we are having “fox talk” right now.
its’ done tho.
work wolf and i are not friends anymore.
after all this childish cold shoulder bs,
i came to a decision that this has reached it’s expiration date.
for some,
i’m sure they thought that a while ago.
for me,
i wanted to hang on because i was so sure.
“so sure” i’d end up getting hurt…
Continue reading “An Ended Friendship On Ice” →

so we’re here again.
not speaking.
suprise fuckin’ surprise.
another pointless fall out between us.
what is this?
like the seventh?
eighth?
i lost count.
of course,
this isn’t my fault.
well a little of it is.
i can be a grown up and admit,
but it’s definitely not that serious for…
Continue reading “Fallin’ Out (Again)” →