“instagrandstanding”: how to make someone (maybe) respond back

it takes a lot to date someone these days.
notice i footed the word: “date”.
it’s easy to get some ass/dick,
but it’s harder to date these days.
you gotta be your perfect self and so does your social media.
it can be a full time job,

without the lack of stability
waiting for the benefits to kick in

one of the foxholers sent me a new-but not so new-trend in dating these days.


i know.
this is what “cock and cocktails” had to font about it…

It’s been a whole 24 hours since he last messaged you. Obviously, you’re not gonna double-text like some obsessed, desperate psycho. And you’re certainly not going to go out and meet some new men to take your mind off this one. Thankfully, there’s a much more subtle and sophisticated approach to take: posting a selfie that’ll get his attention.

Instagrandstanding: when you curate your social feeds to appeal to one person in particular.

Now if you’ve never posted something for the intent of someone specific seeing it… well, you’re a liar. I mean, even if you’ve never posted anything solely for the purpose of someone else, you’ve most likely posted something – that perhaps you were going to post anyway – and hope they see it.

it sounds like the reverse “i’m going to make my ex jealous” tactics.
you know what that is.
when you put up pics and videos to show you’re happy and don’t need them,
but the moment they send you a “hey big head” text,
you’re already thinking about your response.


how about if the person you like doesn’t respond back,
you dismiss their ass and move tf on?
it’s their loss.
i mean,
i’m guilty of getting emo over a non response during a 24 hour period.
i forget i’m a whole self absorbed at times,
not taking into consideration others have lives too.
he might be dealing with his sick mama,
his car broke down,
or he may have died right before he was going to hit me back.
i mean,
you never know why someone doesn’t respond back.
he may have figured you weren’t his type from the convo.
if someone doesn’t take you seriously the first time,
it’s a foreshadow to how they’ll treat you later on.
that’s too much common sense for us tho.
we like to do things the hard way.

article cc: cocks and cocktails

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

11 thoughts on ““instagrandstanding”: how to make someone (maybe) respond back”

  1. I usually give them a day or two to respond, I’ve been there done that sweating guys, but some people do have busy schedules, a simple text just to say hello let’s you know that you’re on his/her mind.

  2. I use to be into this mess. Not anymore. If you have to do things to manipulate someone into being interested and replying, it’s like using a love potion. It’s not real. You should not have to put this much work into getting a guy’s attention. When a man wants you, he will move heaven and hell to get to you and you’ll know it by his actions.

    The real work in a relationship is staying in one. Getting along, working things out, considering their feelings, thinking about the both of you, realizing every argument isn’t a reason to break up.

    The easiest way to see if someone is serious about you, is to stop deaing with them. We teach people how to treat us.

    A guy I have a thing for was commenting and liking everyone’s comments but mine. I thought it was a coincidence, but then it became obvious he saw what I’d post, but was ignoring it. So I deleted all of my comments, unliked everything and didn’t interact with him. Apparently he noticed (obviously), because he then started liking everything on my page. Then he DMed me. And let’s just say he was ignoring me on purpose, “trying to play hard to get” and revealed how he felt. When people see you don’t have time for games, they’ll either shape up or move on.

    If a guy doesn’t respond, you can try again to give him the benefit of the doubt, then move on. A real man when he contacts you next, will apologize. If he does it months later, he planned it. Guys like to leave people hanging. Have someone who they ignore, but likes them, so if they need an ego stroke, can reach out to. Do not be that guy. Reply to people who reply to you. Be respectful. And if you’re not interested, say so. Ghosting is immature. I promise to all of you who don’t reply, Karma will get you when you’re the one trying to get a guy to like you who isn’t feeling you.

    People weight a reply on “if they thin you’re cute”, “have enough money”, etc. People are people. Reply because it’s good conversation. You’re not obligated to talk to everyone but if you do reply..don’t stop. Say you’re not interested and move on. If they get pissy upset, block and move on. Stop waiting for a reply. You need a “Get ready, we’re going out next week” and not a “wyd” the night of a sort-of-date after he stood you up and didn’t bother to make an excuse. Stop jumping to get your phone when you see that you have a text from someone who ignores you. Jump for people who jump at the thought of you. Grow some self-esteem and respect for yourself.

    1. Yeah people are so insecure nowadays and often look to other people to boost their fragile self esteem. I don’t have time for mind games and people who like to test boundaries.

  3. I’m convinced that stupid people gather at a large brown table and come up with stupid things for stupid people.

If you wouldn't say it on live TV with all your family and friends watching, without getting canceled or locked up, don't say it on here. Stay on topic, no SPAM, and keep it respectful. Thanks!

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