i hate jackin off to u

we have so many folks who pass through our lives.
there will be some for a second,
others can stick around for a few minutes,
and the rest will stay for hours.
we maybe attracted to a few of those who cum in and out.
i tried not to be nasty with that part.
this leads me to a question for the foxhole…

Have you ever jacked off to the someone you know you shouldn’t be sexually attracted to?

now i’m not talking pedophilia or incest,
because,
well…

“Yuck”

it could be those who are married,
a friend,
110% straight,
males of other races,
or even someone with your close relative.

i’ve been having the most insane sexual jack off sessions over my “straight” homewolf.
i’ve known him for years.
we met through a mutual situation and we became real cool.
he’s definitely not my type,
but i find him attractive for whatever reason.
it started with the suggestive and flirtatious comments.
one day,
he was talking to me about fuckin’ one of his female exes.

i literally could picture it by his words.
from that point on,
i’ve always imagined what it’d be like fuckin’ him.
i’d imagine him banging my entire back out like that ex.
like,
align my whole chakras with that pipe.
when i nut,
i often feel dirty about it.

the same with the married wolf.
again,
4 cubs and happily married.
i’ve never flirted with him,
nor has he ever spoken to me sexually,
but i find him attractive for whatever reason.
it’s his voice.
it’s really deep and the way he talks…

i’ve literally gotten off the phone with him and started to jack off after.
i just imagine him saying nasty shit in my ear while inside me.
he is a straight married tho.
after i’m done,
i see his wife shaming me and i want to jump into the toilet.

even with others i’ve seen on social media.
there were gay attentionistos in relationships that i liked one (or both).
something about forbidden fruit turns me on.
it makes me horny.
omg.
i’m a hoe.
i don’t like it and often hate myself after i get off.
after i do it,
and i get off pretty hard,
i don’t want to see or look at the person again.
that never lasts because it’s wash,
rinse,
and repeat once i do.

Am I the only one who ever experiences this?

we live in a climate where everyone tries to be perfect.
you know i ain’t that fox.

lowkey: reading that over,
it’s like how dl males act when they’re in the closet.

27 thoughts on “i hate jackin off to u

  1. I used fantasize about Jeramie Hollins all the time — until I see him open his mouth or you ask him a simple question on his live. Then fantasy blown.

    But I wholeheartedly agree with Tony. You seek something you want or something you’ve already had. No better way to summarize it.

  2. On the issue of manifesting. Im pretty sure folks here already know enough by now… You can indeed manifest your fantasies into reality. It works and I will done it a few times but back then I never knew about manifesting. The problem is that whatever you are trying to manifest has to have some kind of liking for you. If you really want a guy’s peen or cakes, you can get it but only if the feelings are there from the other person.

    The Good News:

    If the guy is straight, you can forget it but if he’s single (or married for some cheaters..🙄) bicurious, bisexual or gay then there is a possibility. What will happen is that whatever you think gets sent out into the Uni. He may be desiring to get down with a guy or whatever too and in that instance you will be given an opportunity…You two may end up alone or in a situation where it’s just you two.

    It works as I said it has happened to me several times without knowing what I was doing. In my case since I was a heavy introvert, if I ran across a guy I liked..I’d run the other way.
    If you want something, manifest it and leave it alone.

    The Bad News: It might not be what you thought it was and if he isn’t single (& a cheater), you may get some problems that come along with it. You can’t make someone love you but you can make them desire you give the right circumstances.

    I’d be careful too..Not to be funny cause we all do this and it may sound like I’m talking out my neck but you know when you bust a nut, you release energy.. All I’mma say is be wise where you project that energy. I haven’t studied too much about jerking off & projection of energy but it can throw you out of wack if you so it toooooo much.

    Once you f**k up as much as I did in the past manifesting, you eventually learn to spot the signs correctly.

    It’s a process..it won’t happen over night, that’s for sure.

    When the Uni presents something to you, don’t be a dumbass and start questioning because now you’ve sent out doubt..and ya just messy. I had to go through years of reordering my mind because I was programmed to think I was supposed to live a certain way or restricted from certain things. That’s why when someone says manifesting is bullshit I really call their bluff tbh.

    Honestly, it’s a whole bunch of other ish that you are supposed to do like diet change and all that stuff cause common sense would be like..How the heck can you manifest something 100% when you’re eating all that processed sh*t they give us that make our bodies toxic. It makes sense because once you start taking care of your body, health and exercise and all that, your vibrations kick up and if you are thinking positive, people are going to gravitate to you…PERIOD.

    And people be watching to. They watch to see if you are like that at all times.

    A lot of folks think manifesting is JUST thinking it and that’s it.

    You have to train your mind & you have to be positive, like have no doubts. That may sound easy but it’s hard, yet if you do it, no one can shake you… You’ll be good at reading people too.

    But let me stop cause I’m doing this short story sh*t again and I’m hungry…Let me git to this kitchen..😂😂

  3. Like everyone else I’ve done it but I don’t feel guilty afterwards just sexually frustrated, nothing is a bigger slap in the fact to one’s nonexistent sex life like a jack off fantasy about the straight niggas in one’s life lol .

  4. what none of us are saying is that… fantasies can manifest into reality. we’ve all been there and most of us have already done that. morals and society always causes constant conflicts with what we should and shouldn’t be doing or thinking and makes us feel the most guilty and shameful we’ve ever felt or experience that we become disgusted with ourselves; as if we need to cleanse ourselves and souls to be and remain happy and at peace within. this is the story of my everyday life and cannot seem to escape. 😔

  5. Omg… I cannot lie about this one…

    YES, after resisting the urge to fantasize about one of my (110% hetero) work colleagues I’ve finally given in to the wildest sexual escapades my imagination can summon. I felt guilty for awhile but I’ve forgiven myself. He’s married with one kid and a beautiful wife. He’s a former athlete from his college years and he’s tall enough to be a runway model. I believe he suspects that I’m one of the gheys yet he speaks to me regularly and seems very comfortable around me. It doesn’t help that he smells so damn good every time he’s within my personal space. To give you a clue what he looks like, imagine the model Charlie (who’s photographed by creepy Marvin Bienaime). But my guy is slightly taller and leaner (not as muscular). ☺️

  6. Then again, now that I think about it…it could be seasonal as well. Since the Universe is in a specific order, animals and everything happens as intended during it’s appointed seasons so these occasional lust modes could be your body telling you it’s time to get the system clean.

    I still tell folks I get horny when there is a full moon near.. Why I get these strong urges as of late..The Blood Full moon is right around the corner…I knew it was something…🙄🙄

  7. Nah. As of late, I’ve been heavily fantasizing about someone who i shouldn’t. Just had a whole baby with a female ‘friend’ of mine. I know he has messed around in the past tho…seen him checking me out a couple times but I’m not one that would ever make a move…I’ve been advised to go for it. 😳 IDK tho

  8. Natural part of life, craving what you shouldn’t have. I’m in college right now and I gotta admit I have to stop myself from flirting with, being overly nice, or eye fucking professors constantly. It’s not even that they’re attractive, I think the scenario and tension created by my mind does it. It almost got me into some mess my freshman year, I was giving this older snow vixen too many wrong signals lmao

  9. j, it’s amazing how ON TIME these posts are sometimes. But yeah I can definitely relate. Can’t explanin why but in jacking off recently, I found myself thinking about either my barber or the straight brother of my BFF. My barber and my friend’s brother are both tall with that thin but thick swimmers build and big dumb lips, AND high booties lmao! And they both make the most intense eye contact when talking about ANYTHING. But after the j/o session, I dont feel guilt or shame as mush as I do just pathetic for even imagining (dare I say, “wanting”) it. Wait – is that shame??? LOL … I see them both on a consistent basis and they’re both like the cookie-cutter invloved Black family man which really makes me feel like, “damn.” But I shy away from guilt because I also don’t think it’s something we can make sense of. Sometimes we’re just attracted to folks’ energy and our body/inner consciousness is letting us know… I just always feel like, “of all men, these two though????”

  10. They are called fantasies for a reason. What happens in YOUR head is for YOU alone. I had the first and only wet dream in adulthood after getting off of the phone with my own Work Wolf that became one of my closest friends. I had THE most vivid dream of my legs on his shoulders and woke up to sticky sheets. I was mortified at first….but it keyed me in to the fact that I may have allowed my feelings to run amuck. Physically we are opposites, personality wise, we are almost the exact same. The only major difference is orientation.

    While I made it a point to have a very real, clarifying convo with him addressing my feelings before continuing our friendship, I’d be remiss to not admit that a prolonged jo session where I cannot quite get “there” didn’t finish with a big bang when flashes of that dream popped into my head.

    I gotta couple hood cousins that have invaded my dreams a couple times, too. 🙄😏

  11. jackin off is usually fueled by your fantasies. You have to think about something you desire or have had. no guilt.

  12. Anyone that said they haven’t done this is probably lying. There’s a dude I couldn’t stand but for whatever reason, I wanted that pipe. In fact , I think it’s a dominant thing & I used to get a kick out seeing if dudes are too passive to deal with.

    Normally, I’m not having the lusting because he got abgirofria g but if I meet the right dude & he turns me on I can put together some creative, kinky ways of fu*king him.

    You know that one dude that get you hot, you’d eat his ass in a heartbeat, suck that wood from the back…blah blah..

  13. Definitely not the only one. I got a friend that’s married with about five kids & also a friend that I used to work with that I think about all the time when I jack off. They both are very masculine & tall & that’s what gets me going. I know I would never try anything with the married one but my ex coworker is kinds questionable only because of flirting & comments made.

  14. I’ve done it before and it led to me messing with a friend that was married. I was helping him get his nudes off line and I ended up watching the vids. I bussed off to it a few times.
    I told him it would be hard to erase everything, and that it wasn’t a big deal since the video was good. A few weeks later we were drunk and he brought up the video and his performance . Then a few more weeks after that he kept bringing it up, and I joked about it here and there. We’ve always had a thing for each other, but since he could have anyone he wanted, I never pursued him. Anyways we fucked… it’s wasn’t as good as the video lol.

  15. I’ve actually done this and regret even thinking like that everytime. I know I’m not into them but for some reason I get into them at one point or another. :/

      1. This reminds me of something that was mentioned on How I met your mother called “the mermaid effect,” basically you will eventually find that somebody attractive even if you have no attraction to them before.

      1. Absolutely NOTHING to be ashamed about. I’ve done it many times, thinking about dudes who’ve flirted with me, dudes in the barbershop, dudes on the street, even co-workers.
        No shame, no guilt.

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