i don’t want my kid seeing me be gay or affectionate with my partner

kids need to be handled with a certain care.
there are many who shouldn’t have kids as they are still mentally childish.
as much flaws as my late mother had,
i can recognize she wanted me to be a kid for as long as i could.
she made me turn around during sex scenes,
didn’t like me watching too much violence,
and when it came to her relationships with wolves,
she didn’t “do the most” when i was around with them.
a Foxholer sent me the following that i had to stew on.

you know i luh to stew.
there are my thoughts

there seems to be a lot of insecurity and paranoia in what he is saying.
this sounds like a personal problem for him that he needs to work out.
my thing is:

The straights cuddle and show affection in front of their kids.
That doesn’t mean their kids turn out to be model citizens either.
They could raise their children to be amazing and they’ll still hate them or go shoot up their school.

there is always a healthy way to do things and then “doing the most“.
it’s okay to show your child what love looks like without being inappropriate.
why is he associating being a gay parent to a kid becoming a sexual deviant?

It’s like he sees other gays being sexually deviant so he thinks if he shows his partner affection,
his kid is going to think that is what it means to be…

i’m confused here.
there are straight parents out here who “do the most”.
they shouldn’t have bred and their badass children reflect this.
the reality is when you bring a kid(s) into this forest,
you need to be a fuckin’ parent.

You need to teach your child.
You need to guide your child.
You need to scold your child.
You need to protect your child.


i want my child to see that i love his father.
i want him to see what healthy love looks like between 2 males.
i can do this without letting my kids see him playfully dry humping me.
even if we don’t work out,
i want to make sure our co-parenting looks healthy to our kid(s).

This person’s ideals are complete different and I hope he doesn’t find himself regretting his stance once his kid(s) hit that rebellious teenager phase.

so that’s my thoughts about this.

4 thoughts on “i don’t want my kid seeing me be gay or affectionate with my partner

  1. In my opinion, this TikTok man who went off is not necessarily wrong, people are probably mad because it was a backhanded admonishment of the gay lifestyle. To be honest, the gay lifestyle is a very youth-driven, sex-positive, sex-forward lifestyle that rarely talks about family, raising kids, or what it means to get older. Every time I hear someone talk about upcoming” Pride” it’s always about, what parties and clubs people are going to, how much people are going to turn up, and how much sex people are going to have. People are not talking about dropping kids off at daycare or baking cookies for the school potluck. 
    I know we can criticize and critique heterosexuals, but the reality is they are the vast majority both globally and nationally, and because of that they are the standard or what’s considered normal and everything else is the alternative. 5% of people nationally identify themselves as LGBT, so when you talk about gay black men specifically, you’re talking about a minority of a minority of a minority. I know we want to pretend that everyone is closeted or DL, but the data doesn’t support that. 
    They say that “nothing is new under the sun”, but there is something to be said about being in uncharted territory. Gay marriage just became the law of the land in 2015 which means we are only 9 years in. When it comes to gay black males and gay black couples the sad fact that nobody wants to talk about is that we don’t have any” Grey wolves” or” Silver Foxes” to speak into this space. We don’t have gay black men who got married in their 20s or 30s to another male and raised a kid from the time they were a baby until adulthood; we might see that in the next 25 years if we’re lucky. 

  2. He is exactly right about the choice to not be demonstrative in front of his child. He is his parent, not these other extra motherfuckboys. Heterosexual folks also need to tone shit down in front of the children. Privacy and protecting children’s innocence just don’t mean shit anymore. Indoctrination and personal point of view parenting is not conducive for all occasions. Everybody’s brain is just up their ass about this issue. That Father, know matter how femme he sounds, is spot on in this instance. Should the child see too much too soon, and starts acting it out on other kids, CPS gets involved and trouble and instability ensues for the baby. I would tell all of em to kiss my whole ass on a “beans and burrito Friday” for trying to get cute bout my son. These comments are sometimes too airhead and cunty for me.

  3. It’s his decision, but I see gays striving to be the lowest common denominator, for example:

    “I need a rich n*gga!” Vs striving to be Oprah, they want to be Yung Miami. And unfortunately, With that comes sexual deviance. We’re in an era where Black gays are listening a bit too much to white opinions on sexuality. And as an act of rebellion the overt sexuality any and everywhere is becoming more common. So most of society at large associates gayness with hypersexuality.

  4. It’s a problem because he’s doing EXACTLY what many heteros/phobes do: he is equating gay men to their sex lives. The minute gay men do anything besides look down and give hair and fashion tips, in public, they’re ‘doing too much’, esp if there are kids around. Meanwhile, btwn the extraness in his mannerisms and the fact that once he opens his mouth, a pocket book falls out, his kids and anyone who halfway knows up from down alrdy knows he’s gay. Picking up his verbal shade/lackluster attempts at reading will also get them called gay by the other kids. There’s a lot of space btwn Michael Sam’s extraness at the damn NFL draft, and thinking that gays should only exist at ‘that’ club on Friday nights.

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