i am responsible for your trauma and insecurities because of everything i do to you.

i was talking to one of my home vixens today.
we were discussing 2020 and things we have learned this year.
it’s no secret that this year has literally taken most of us through the wringer.
many of us made it out stronger,
others are still in the process,
and the rest are still chasing outside validation.
i learned many things this year,
but one thing i’ve had a lot of training in…

People will project their insecurities out on you.

this is why it’s oftentimes never about you.
you think you did something wrong,
but your self-absorption is leading you to that place.
you were just in the right place at the wrong time.

it’s like another fox being attracted to a wolf,
but the problem is that the wolf is interested in you.
when you walk in the door,
he always has googly eyes and will lay his life down for you.
the other fox picks up on that and their insecurities start to rise.
their feelings of not being liked and rejected come to the forefront.
before you know it,
you are the threat and they’re on a mission to destroy you.
the first thing they do is turn the wolf against you.
after that,
they turn other people against you too.
before you know it,
you are in the middle of banishment and don’t even know what you did.

See how that works?

healthy people would move on and chuck the deuces.
there are plenty of other wolves out here to choose from.
probably better than the wolf in question.
damaged people don’t think like that and try to ruin others who are literally minding their own business.
another example is the male who is insecure about his sexuality.
he is attracted to you,
but he isn’t comfortable within himself to show it.
so he will torment and highlight your sexuality to throw a cloud over his.
every time you see him,
he is acting like he is trying to avoid you.
realistically tho,
you are living rent free in his mind.
when he’s alone:

when i wake up in the morning,
my goal is not to hurt insert name here.
when i open up this website,
my day isn’t complete without being shady to insert name here.
i’m not:

Ya mama
Ya daddy
Ya ex
Ya sibling
Ya third-grade bully

…so don’t take your trauma out on me.
i am usually very unproblematic and dealing with my own shit.
for whatever reason tho,
i tend to make insecure folks really angry and i don’t understand why.
i always say my superpowers must be keeping people extremely pressed.


what i’m learning at the end of 2020:

That ain’t my problem.

…and i need to stop making it my problem for 2021.

lowkey: it ain’t always about you so stop worrying about it.

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

4 thoughts on “i am responsible for your trauma and insecurities because of everything i do to you.

  1. I love Black Lightning. That moment was better than any Phoenix moment in the X-Men movies.

    Here’s to keeping our feet on people’s necks without even trying to keep them pressed to the ground. But that’s where worms belong.

  2. I hope you work on healing in 2021, Jamari.

    As for Jordan, if thereโ€™s ever a Nelly biopic he needs to put his bid in stat!

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