I Hit On Him and Then He Hit Me

heartsok#havesandhavenots was the shit wasn’t it?
good damn tv.
well i couldn’t stop thinking about how wyatt extracted that confession out of jeffery.
that “look at that bulge” line tho…
with those tight ass pants jeffery had on and wyatt saw that?
in this lifestyle,
i call jeffery a “newbie”.
the one who hasn’t had his *safety seal broken.
(*safety seal: as soon as you do anything with the same sex.)
so  you are completely new to how this whole thing works.
you think that as soon as you say “me likey peen/booty“,
then everyone happens to feel the same way.
not a chance.
worse if you meet the wrong people(s),
you can be manipulated.
worse: outed.
i was once a victim…

so there was this straight wolf i liked.
i mean liked a lot.
i mean would have married him if he gave me a ring.
well one day after speaking to a phony i thought was my people,
he pumped me up into super fox to ask him if he was gay.
so i set it up real sweet.
i went to his crib alone one night to “chill” aka “smoke”.
we were smoking and talking about life.
i thought that was the right que to ask.
well i asked if he was bisexual because i thought that was better.
straight wolf smiled,
put his hand on my shoulder,
and said a simple “no”.
after that it was awkward silence in a cloudy living room.
i was devastated because i was so sure i was right.
he never spoke to me again.
i’m also sure he told mutual friends that i asked him as well.
i was so embarrassed,
but i played it off as good as i could.
lets just say i learned my lesson fast.

tumblr_mm3188tvOo1r2l73so1_500that past situation kind of scorned me i won’t even front.
i won’t even look at a wolf in his eyes if he is “straight” and i’m attracted to him.
the way how wyatt did it was obvious enough to lower your guard,
but jeffery should have known better.
wyatt threw a fit when he slipped up the episode before.
you never know when someone really likes you.
you can create a fantasy in your head only to be shot down.
it happens to the best of us.
no matter how clouded my judgment is,
i’m not revealing shit until i know the coast is clear.
i also let a wolf put his cards on the table.
i work better when i know you want this.
the worst thing is to be wrong about someone’s sexuality.
some straight dudes don’t take too kindly to it.
you never know when someone is about to set you up also.
this is why so many down low wolves get taped on the low.
i figured it was the peen to mouth resuscitation.
always stand your guard and read every sign carefully.
trust no bitch.
with all that being said i couldn’t help but wonder…

When is the right time to hit on a dude?

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

32 thoughts on “I Hit On Him and Then He Hit Me”

  1. Yeah exactly I have a huge heart and I would never out someone but it was senior year your with the ( IT Crowed) im new I came there not knowing nobody really but your talking shit about me and all this crazy stuff and im like what?? but your asking if you can eat my *** on some nasty shit and I don’t even know you I had to stand up lol. the funny thing is I became popular after that with everyone lol.

  2. Yes this Conversation is deep. But anyways I think we have all been burned so have I by dudes I’ve messed with in H.S and at a certain point I had a breaking point no more being shy shit fuck that I turned the tables on there ass your on the H.S football team and your straight but want to hit me up on fb at night?? oh hell no I printed that shit and gave it out at school yes I did. After that I felt brand new I then started working in retail at a clothing store and I realized that im a fine ass nigga I don’t chase guys guys chase me once I changed my attitude stopped being shy and caring what people thought I was fine now I know my potential IDGAF

      1. Thanks Jamari. I printed it out because he knew I was new my 12 grade year and he was saying how im fine as hell and he wants to be with me and I can be this niggas friend smh. & all this stuff but when in school didn’t acknowledge me when I would talk to him and was talking about me behind my back trying to play me so once I asked him why hes talking about me and stuff but your trying to talk to me on FB he denied it so I kindly printed it out and Kicked his ass out the closet CTFU!

        1. ^see that’s the bs.
          if he would have chilled,
          kept it on the low,
          and not acted like a bitch,
          you wouldn’t have flipped on him.
          d/l anything needs to learn to just stop bringing attention to the situation.
          im not the supporter of outing someone,
          but he was ruining your reputation,
          while making himself innocent.
          i woulda punched him.

      2. DAMN Ryan, but I give you mad props. Go head man you showed him lol. Glad to hear you know just how good you are.

    1. ^he was giving signals fla!
      always touching me,
      staring deep into my eyes with a dopish smile,
      and then he winked at me one time.
      when he was high,
      the gaze would be longer and deeper.
      i felt something,
      but I guess I was wrong.

      1. He was teasing you. Had probably clocked you or at least had a suspicion and was messing with you in a cruel way. That type of thing is messed up. I think some bashers lead people on.

      2. Touching u & staring in ur eyes but he doesn’t get down. Wow. Those are usually sure signs. Either he was scared or he was trying to out u.smh

  3. He has to show that he’s into u. I see guys all day that stare at u, even give u the nod but I ain’t taking them serious till they go out of their way to sho sum real interest
    I agree with Man that u have to be open to ppl otherwise u’ll be alone. Staring at the ground won’t get u that sexy wolf u been aching for. Ppl always more attracted to self confidence.
    @russell m…u can’t change the past so just go out and make ur own friends and it’ll be ok

  4. Always have your guard up until you know for sure what’s the other person sexuality. I see str8 wolves all day who are so sexy but like most of us have been burned by saying somthing to soon. Until I get a straight out I’m str8 or I’m down I don’t say shit. And that look at her ass thing don’t work either. I see some vixens with the most fat beautifa bubble and I lose focus lol

  5. You don’t know what it’s like to be socially anxious. For us, simple “wassup” or small talk makes us very nervous. It’s not that we don’t wanna talk back we’re just afraid we’ll look weird or awkward. Most shy/socially anxious people are not trying to be rude or stuck up.

    Also, to answer J’s question, I told him I was gay because we got pretty close since meeting at freshman orientation. I felt like I could trust him.

    1. Being quiet is what is going to make you awkward man. Before college you went to high school just like the rest of us, you know quiet kids get picked on, not the outgoing ones. Y’all may not mean to come off rude but you do. How do we know you are not rude or stuck up if you don’t talk to us. See what I mean?

      I’m not downing you, but orientation is only a couple of days, you cannot build trust someone in that short time period, you can’t. You’ll be ok though, fuck those guys.

  6. ^ it’s called paying tribute it was o a episode of its always sunny. usually someone has to nod display a brief smile but usually one person has to be in a higher status or position. If you two have nothing except walkig by each other everyday in the corridor then yes he should be familiar with social etiquette and display some sort tribute but if he doesn’t then yes he’s fucking rude that’s a sign you shouldn’t even bother with him

  7. The best time to hit on a dude is when he is naked in front of you. It’s no question at that point. LMAO…Nah. I know some of you prob feel that way after being wrong so many times.

    For real tho, this is a tough one to answer. Everyone communicates differently which makes it hard to pinpoint what is what. What one my see as a hint may be nothing to the next person who is in a similar situation. You also have some men who believe they are dropping hints, but they are very vauge, and that’s what’s confusing to most, it certainly confuses me. It’s 2013, eye contact and head nods mean nothing. If you want a man you have to step out a limb to get him, that’s something I’m gonna start doing more myself. I don’t mean sexually or being thirsty either. I mean befriending him, being there if he needs a favor, asking him how his day is, and trying to hang out with him. Some guys don’t drop hints or try and get to know you at all. They just think a man is supposed to fall out of the sky. You have to work for what it is you want. I’m talking about shy guys who don’t make an effort, and then have the nerve to complain about no one hitting on them on the reg. Are you serious? Shy guys are the worst. They are a pain in my ass lol. I mean I like shy, quiet guys, but they are a challenge especially if the person who is interested in them is outgoing because that’s intimidating to them.Their actions irk me too. They usually don’t talk very much, they have a hard time looking people in the face when talking(people who they are attracted too), and they put their head down while walking past someone. That makes it hard to even start a convo, let alone a sexual/emotional relationship. That happened to me last semester with this guy that I liked. Just when I’m trying to say a simple “wassup” to him his head is down to the floor/ground by the time he gets to me. One time I literally had my mouth open to speak when our eyes met, and before I could get anything out his eyes drifted to the ground, it’s not funny. A friend of mine told me that he thought it was cute, I told him it wasn’t lol. Here’s the thing, when you put your head down when you walk past someone or during a convo it’s disrespectful, period. I don’t care what no one says. That’s not being shy anymore, it’s being very rude and it will steer people away from you. I need a man, a real man, not a fraud who can’t step up. A man who is going to speak his mind and has the courage and confidence to look me in my face when talking to me or when he sees me. A man who goes out of his way to get what he wants.

    1. You are speaking my entire life right here. I am a natural extrovert. I generally take charge in social situations (whenever I’m comfortable). However, I am definitely the SHY guy you hate. lol. When it comes to other men, I’m paranoid. I’m not intimidated by interacting with them, I just fear being outed, or I might accidentally send signals to a straight guy. The thought of that happening makes me sick. Most of my friendships are with women, because I’m scared I’ll be clocked as a fraud when it comes to other guys. If I think I’m getting vibes from a guy, and he may be feelin me, I automatically lock up. I start rationalizing that it’s all in my head. I begin to avoid eye contact, put my head down, etc etc.

      I don’t wanna get my ass whopped. Or be embarrassed.

      I’m in my mid twenties, and I’ve never been with a dude before lol. Even though I’m pretty sure I sexually attracted to men… That’s how paranoid I am. I get on apps and websites but I’m too terrified to send pics of my face, and too scared to meet. It’s ridiculous. I want the confidence, but I have too much to lose.

      1. Why are you in fear of being outed? It’s not hard to hang with the straights, we all do it, but some have had some bad experiences. However, they don’t really suspect anything if you just talk to them unless you are someone like Jeffrey who is touchy feely lol. If you send signals to the straight guy he likely won’t pick up on it. Straights know very little to none about us.

      2. I’m no Jeffrey lol. They usually don’t pick up on anything, ur right. I probably just don’t want to get too comfortable, or have to deal with them when they start asking questions abt hoes…….. lying is exhausting.

      3. Just go along with it man. Tell them how you be bagging those hoes lol. They will believe it.

  8. I’ma freshman in college and I just came out to my roommate. Je said he was cool with it but I notice him acting funny now. I think he told his boys because one of em’ avoided me like the plague on campus today. Last week when I met him and everybody they was all over me but now it’s different. My roomie cute and I was hoping he got down but now I’m like whatever. They went out tonight and I wasn’t invited. Funny cause two days ago they asked me to come with them. I hate being gay.

    1. Ah man that’s tough. You did it too soon. No friendship was established prior to you coming out. You didn’t even know if you could trust him. You should have made him grow to like you and told him months later, yes months. If he grown to like you it would have been hard for him to shut you out.

      1. ^i totally agree man.
        way too soon.
        i like to feel a nigga out before i get to telling stories.
        well whats done is done.
        i say become popular as shit where they would be forced to hang with you.
        get involved in various groups and become a social butterfly.
        reverse it on em.

    2. Russell, please don’t do anything drastic. Take some deep breaths. The world is not coming to an end; we have all done some embarrassing things at some point. It’s a part of the learning process.

      I’m assuming you’re black. Not sure if you’re at a HBCU or a majority white school, but if you’re black, your parents and/or grandparents probably told you we have to be twice as good due to the racism and prejudice that still exist in this world. And, when you began noticing that there was something different about you from the other boys, you probably internalized that you would need to be three times as good in case your secret might be revealed. This means there are no doubt a lot of us on your campus because we excel. Most, at this point, are probably still in the closet, down low, discreet, etc.; unless they are just raging flames. Bottom line: you have a lot of company on campus, so do not sweat your roommate. As long as he’s not hostile toward you, don’t worry about him and his buddies avoiding you. They could be having each and were turned off by you asking him if he was gay. Many brothers, if not most, at your age don’t like to call themselves gay, even if they are sexually active with other guys. They might prefer saying they mess around or get down. Everybody is feeling his way and still afraid of their secret getting out.

      In your case, you felt your roommate and you had developed that bond. Again, don’t worry about it; at least now you know. And, if he has told other people, consider it free advertisement. There might be people on campus who were wondering about you who get down but were afraid to approach you.

      Now, you don’t have to waste energy wondering about your roommate because you know. So, what to do? Hit those books so you can make that GPA for starters. Two, if there are extracurricular activities you enjoy, pursue them. The people you meet will have those things in common with you. When you are doing what you enjoy, you will exude a vibe that wil make you attractive. Also, make some time to exercise. It will keep stress at bey and will

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