quality.
you know it when you experience it.
when you touch it, it feels different.
when you lay on it, it feels exceptional.
when it comes into your life,
you want more of it.
shit, some of us are quality.
i know i am.
with my writing alone,
i am worth a lot.
we have so many skills and talents that it automatically makes us expensive.
if you count up all the things you are good at,
you will see that you are pretty pricey.
… but, why do we deal with such low quality from people we date… or fuck?
we like to wear cute clothes and be fly on instagram,
but when it comes to our hearts,
we let just “anyone” with a american express dick/ass,
with a citi trends attitude,
possess it.
why is this?
do some of us not know our value?
or, do we know and we just settle because it is easier?
i started to wonder…
when did our material possessions worth more than us?
i always wondered why people settled.
i know that this lifestyle does not guarantee love.
you can get some top notch dick because sadly,
a good fuck means more in lifestyle.
We just let ANYONE skeet in our faces nowadays.
but why would someone deal with cheap bullshit from another human,
but would floss heavy in the club?
go and buy something expensive to impress other people,
but deal with some ignorant muthafucka who isn’t impressing us?
- never calls
- texts are one word
- cheats repeatedly
- fucks others with no protection
- lies after lies
- promises after promises
… but the raw pipe blew our back out so he stays!
even with friendships,
what business do we have letting these fake ass people in our lives?
did we miss all them red flags on top their heads?
a history of back stabbing,
fighting,
and a trail of broken friendships.
but they dress as good as us,
and know how to attract some fine wolves,
we want this person in our clique.
my muthafuckin clique, clique, clique…
maybe we need to look at the design of the person in question.
shit, maybe we need to look at ourselves.
usually someone who is flossin’ all their material possession online is suffering from insecurity.
true wealthy minded people do not need to put everything they bought in a photo album.
sure they may take a picture of their car,
an event they are attending,
where they are on vacation,
or maybe their home,
but realistically they keep some things private.
new money,
however,
has to take a picture of everything.
they should have never given these niggas camera phones…
they will be the first person in the club poppin’ bottles with a ton of thirty strangers.
like 9 lips on one bottle?
they will have a ton of overdue bills with no desire to pay.
we aint paying no bills ya heard!
realistically, they ain’t use to shit.
usually it is people who grew up poor,
or were awkward nerds,
that want to show off that “they made it“.
same thing can be shown in relationships,
only thing it is the opposite.
they aren’t use to being with quality.
so, they settle for whatever has pecs, abs, and a long stroke.
that’s fine but who is the person attached to it?
they want their wolf/fox/hybrid to match their money.
this is why anyone on twitter with a poppin’ photo album,
because they think that this is what “excellence” is,
when really it is the quickest way to being emotionally broke and mentally spent.
you know, once the real side of things start to happen.
lowkey: why would you put up pictures with your money,
and then complain or act confused that all you attract is gold diggers?
i started to wonder about expecting good quality in our relationships.
we wouldn’t go to a restaurant and put up with bad service.
we would be so quick to cuss out the server and bounce without a tip.
why do we not do this with these ignorant mofos we let in our lives (and in us)?
why do we allow them to treat us like shit and not speak up?
why do we allow them to fuck us like we our ass cheeks are worth platinum,
but treat us like we are worth pennies?
i had to ask…
Do you honestly feel you deserve better?
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I actually just started reading your posts today after a co-worker mentioned the site to me. This was captivated me into reading because in my youth, I was too was focused on how the gay relationships both began and ended in the bedroom and I was determined to not be that guy, but in the end I was. Then all that came to a screeching halt when a friend of mine was killed and the rose colored lenses that I use to look at my life through became all too clear, but all too late in my opinion. I turned my life and situations around from all aspects….education, finances and self-love and then I met him. He made it all to easy fall back into the lifestyle because now I was blinded by what I thought was monogamous love, but it wasn’t. The sex was great to me and about 20 other different guys and then he called with news that he was HIV+. I was shocked and scared through it all….but I wasn’t a stranger to having been tested as it seemed like I was the only one concerned about the virus and therefore he would convince me that I needed to be tested while all the while, he never did. By the graces of God, I am still negative and will never degrade myself into thinking that anyone out there is ever better than my own well-being because in the end, he is not. Realize we are all worth so much more than material things because in the end, you only have yourself.
^thank you so much for sharing this.
tell your co worker thank you for checking me out and allowing you to come on and share your story.
i hope to see you comment again.
Beautiful post Jamari. You illustrated certain facets of this lifestyle well. But you and most of the other commenters are still young. When you get to your late 30s and 40s you will have honed down your social circle to a small core of people who really love you. And you will learn how to avoid the silliness. And all those folks who were cute when they were young will behold played out and broke.
Jamari, you are so on point with this. This is why people label me difficult because I don’t settle. I know my worth and I know the type of person it will take to complement my spirit and character. I haven’t dated in almost 10 years. All these “meringue” ass people walking around putting up fronts and fascades and they don’t even know what they have to offer another person. It’s sad and f-ed up at the same time.
Low key: luckey, I been cyber crushing on you homie for a couple of months lol.
But I digressed, I also do not have too much time for “projects.” People spending more time worrying about Beyonce, Jay-Z, Chris and Rihanna than themselves. Not knowing anything more than putting their ass, dick, tits and/or pussy on display. But these are the simple asses that talk crap all day on facebook, twitter, blogs and to anyone that will listen that they can’t find anyone who wants more than sex. Maaannnnn, miss me with that.
Damn Jamari you aint playing in this last quarter of 2012, just when I thought you have gave us the best you top yourself. This is a post that every gay, str8 black man needs to read and tape to his dresser mirror, or refrigerator. You have spoke nothing but the “sho-nuff” truth.
Speaking from a Gay perspective, it is so many empty, broken people wrapped up in pretty muscles and flat abs. Its no room for the fat, and ugly in this perfect gay world except to be a support for the beautiful people. We have all seen not so attractive people cater and fawn over the beautiful in this lifestyle, never getting nothing in return. As far as materialism, so many people want designer labels to feel complete and part of the American dream, that has been denied from them. I know someone who has a couple of pair of Louboutin’s, and some fancy high price designer gear, but not their own place, or a vehicle.
It’s really sad that a big dick and muscles will take you further in the gay world than having character, moral, and values, and if you add some Gucci, and Louie to the mix, you are practically a Superstar.
I deserve better hence why I won’t settle and I been single almost ten years. I am working on me. I am married to me and my endeavors. You gotta be careful of who you bring in your life. Not to mention, I want to be that ‘ultimate’ catch. I don’t want a man who completes me but compliment my life.
I get lonely but I refused to be ‘alone’ in a relationship. I was dead for much of my 20s, just existing man. That won’t be me in my 3os. I am older and wiser and I like to say that I surround myself around people, who are about something hence why I fuck with you. Great topic Jamari!