^A discussion I was having with a Foxholer earlier about an Attentionisto.
One who allegedly deals with other males if he has a connection with them.
This Foxholer knows said Attentionisto.
The “her” is really a “he”.

looking back,
i realize that every time i got caught up with certain wolves:

Work Wolf
WW3
Light Bright

i had this insecure fear about sex.
not sex itself…

The sex and soul tie without me.

in my very insecure head,
if they’d slept with someone before me,
it meant they wouldn’t want me anymore.
they would be tied to someone before me.
that i’d somehow lose my place before i ever had a grip.
…or had them in my vice grip.

i can admit,
this thinking came from:

a) My own insecurities and refusal to trust the process
b) A scarcity mindset of fearing I’d lose someone i was starting to care about
c) Not seeing the bigger picture

i love talking to the Foxhole because it’s so many different lives and stories.
it was so interesting with this Foxholer,
sex was minor compared to them actually getting married.
in fact,
they still had this attitude that they weren’t bothered.
it made me wonder if it is how we choose to look at things?
do we look at it through the lens of defeat?
a minor inconvenience?
or…

Is it really a problem at all?

“he is fucking/dating/married to ____…
and?
i can still have him if i want.
none of that has none of that to do with me.”

i guess it really is the way you choose to look at things with others…

…are you thinking to win or already bracing for the loss?