i been thinking that if everything that has happened these last 3 years,
even if i thought it was so negative,
was actually part of God’s plan?

this time last year of june 2025,
in about a month,
i was gonna come where i am now for a BBQ.
i didn’t want to come but something urged me to go.
when i left here that night to go back to new yawk,
i have on video telling my friend i was gonna live here.

“i don’t know how,
but i’m going to live here.”

and even though this transition wasn’t ‘a walk in the park…

in many instances,
each and any of us are the drama.
there are people who look at like like:

“damn,
they always got some shit going on.”

we all have issues,
crazy,
quirks,
and kinks.
we have all done shit that we could be judged heavily for.
i watched a movie called,
“the drama“,
and Foxhole:

IT WAS SO GOOD.

without giving it away,
“the drama” was one of the characters revealing “the worst thing they ever did”.
what they admitted was a doozy but personally,
i wouldn’t have reacted so harshly.
i have emotional intelligence and would at least need more context for the “why?”.
everyone ain’t me tho.
while all the other characters admitted to doing things much worse,
they took turns dog piling on the character who shared their truth.
this bitch:

…being the “everyone else“.
the movie made me think of when you’re asked to tell your truth…

karen from “mean girls” did that.
i fully believed her crazy.

i’ve been wanting to watch the housemaid since it came out.
i got invited to the screening last november,
but i couldn’t make it due to reasons beyond my control.
i was devastated i couldn’t attend that day,
but i wasn’t supposed to see it until now.

well,
last night.

as i was watching it,
two things crossed my mind.
one:

Brandon Sklenar is fine AF.

i was fully distracted by the smile,
the biceps,
the tank tops,
and how i’d let that 6’2 white wolf palm my cheeks like a basketball.

but then there was the second thought…

after a long dry spell,
and a few people who came in too fast and disappeared just as quickly,
i’m re-learning how to open up again while being emotionally sore.

on super bowl sunday,
i was invited to a party at this new place i’m in.
i’ve been here about a month now and i’ve started mingling.
well tbh,
people started mingling with me.
one thing about me is:

people want access to me and get comfortable fast.

i don’t know if it’s my energy,
my softness,
or the way i make people feel safe but it happens.

so i met a straight couple downstairs last week,
and after about an hour of talking,
they told me to come through to this party they were having.
honestly?
it was so much fun.
being around new people reminded me of who i am,
how easily i connect,
and how much i enjoy meeting new wolves…
uh,
people.
meeting new people.

after the high has come down,
i find myself paused on all of it at 411am…

i love common sense and decency in the church.
there is a lack of those things especially in black churches.

“love everyone because the bible told us to do that,
but hate everyone because the bible told us to do that at the same time.”

this is why people are leaving the church in droves.
i always find it funny how there are so many gay folks in churches,
but somehow its okay when they are being the entertainment.

“gays should be singing and not being heard.”

so when yolanda adams said this on clay cane’s podcast…

i think “game of thrones” ruined us.
every time a show is about to end or a season finale:

we are hoping characters die horrible deaths so we can find an excuse to cry.

that is kinda weird,
ain’t it?
instead of cheering on characters surviving to show us we can survive through uncertainty,
we are excited and looking forward to see people die in horrible ways.
not even deaths that make sense to the story either.

just killing characters off for the sake of our inner little (or big) psychopaths

it kinda explains why some of these folks voted for this new reality of chaos.
like sansa stark in “game of thrones”,
i was hoping no i liked died in this “stranger things” finale.
if they did die,
i hoped it was properly tied into the story like when eddie died.
anyhoo,
“stranger things” came to an end last night with the final episode.
i ended up watching it at around 2am and well…