does the “gay” or “black” come first when addressing you?

during the jussie smollett shenanigans last week,
i was speaking to one of my fav vix bi on the ig foxhole.
she usually keeps me up to date with the latest happenings.
well,
she asked me a question that stayed with me.
it was:

Do you consider yourself to be a “gay black” fox or a “black gay” fox?

hmm.
i fonted that i was…

A “black gay” fox

i am a proud black male who happens to be gay as well.
i don’t know if that’s the right “thing” to font,
as some get so offended how you choose to live your life.
for me tho,
my skin color comes before my sexuality.
when i’m around white folks,
i’m looked and treated as a black male.
if the hunters pull a gun on me,
it’s not because i’m gay first.
i guess the answer is based on experience within the forests.
as a discreet fox,
i’ve had folks question my sexuality,
but i’ve never confirmed or denied how i got down.
i’ve never really experienced the life beyond penis and a couple of events.
because of this,
i’m more “black gay” than “gay black”.
it was an interesting question that i wanted to pose to the foxhole.

Are you a “black gay/bi” male or a “gay/bi black” male?

what comes first for you?

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

7 thoughts on “does the “gay” or “black” come first when addressing you?

  1. Black gay man.

    If you think about it, White bottoms will go after an obviously effeminate Black gay man for “bbc”.

    They don’t measure masculinity the same way that we do. I will always be Black first. Nobody will see the “gay” first, unless they see me with another man.

    White gays are getting LGBT rights for THEM. Not all gay, bi, lesbian, trans. Just the White ones. How foolish would I be to think I am included?

    Lastly, many white LGBT people use it act as if they are some sort of minority and oppressed. They want to feel special and get NO sympathy from me.

    Even the liberal white LGBT are like the White people from Get Out. Saying they hate Trump, voted for Obama and studying you for lingo, mannerisms, fashion and culture to steal. Black women and Black gay men are the most imitated, disrespected and loathed by both the White AND Black community.

    Sad, but you can’t compare “being fat”, “being disabled”, (insert strike against you) to being Black. It’s THAT bad. And you new Blacks who live only around White people and think racism is over because they do it behind your back, can kick rocks.

  2. I wish someone would ask me something like this. Honestly, if someone asked me this I’d be like, neither. I’m a human being first dammit. My skin color or my sexuality shouldn’t even be a factor (even tho it is these days) at the end of the day you breathe, eat, sleep, shit just like everyone else in there world. Even if you live a life of luxury, you are still a human before anything. With that said, I stick close to my roots of being black but I don’t want a title as a black man. Just treat me with respect like you want to get treated at the end of the day.

    To go with question. I’m black first. Who I fuk is no one’s business. But I literally walk around with melanin popping daily. I don’t carry my sexuality on my shoulders…if that makes sense.

    The situation gets icky though. Outside from white folks…How would my same “skin tone” racial background loving folk treat me? Am I black first or am I gay? Things get interesting then.

    This is when I think karma comes into play. “Your people” don’t stand with you because you are gay, even though you both share the same racialrbackground, as a result, they will continue to face hardships in their own identity as well.

    They often feel being heterosexual is superior to being gay. You are not a man. A heterosexual black male murderer is more redemable before you ever will be to them.

    None of this would be a problem if folks treated each other like human beings. Some of them white people though are pretty evil creations..They are filled with pride and the devil of their own will and believe they are GODs. They been doing that since Julius Ceasar (If you notice, y’all still use the Roman calenders and go by Roman days of the week & holidays which were created to worship God’s.)

    As far as our ummm..what should I call them? Our other Black family members.

    This is why I always roll my eyes at straight black people saying being gay and racial discrimination are not the same thing. In fact I even mock them. Your life is so hard but you half way in there. Try being a man, a black man, a black man that likes dick. A black man that likes dick and isn’t hyper masculine. Things get nasty real quick. All off a sudden, Jesus and God said this and that and you not a real man.🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️ This is when you start to realize cause and effect and why people are often oppressed.

    So basically you hate me because of what some man wrote in book. You don’t know whether or not it is accurate but you believe it to be so because some other humans told you it was and you have faith in it (dumb). But you get your panties in a bunch when other folks hate you like you are an innocent victim.

    Jamari, which is worse? Being black and gay and walking into a room full of white people or being gay and black and walking into a room full of your own people?

    1. ^”Jamari, which is worse? Being black and gay and walking into a room full of white people or being gay and black and walking into a room full of your own people?”

      SO DEEP!
      it can be both with the right circumstances…

      1. It gets scary and then we have our own in fighting within the gay community. It’s all one big mess that needs to sorted out.

  3. BLACK gay MAN..

    I always view myself as a black MAN, my sexuality is just that, I’m attracted to men, I don’t discuss it because I don’t think people are that interested in knowing. I view the gay community as the white gay community. I feel that they believe that they own it, they control the agenda. IT”S ALL ABOUT THEM. They have define what gay is, what gay looks like and the mentality of a gay man. That mentality is: The freedom to express yourself.

    This freedom comes without rules, restriction and boundaries. You can be, any and everything expect a MAN. YOU ARE GAY. You are a GAY MAN simply because you have a dick. Masculinity is not associated with a gay man… Their terminology is such .. Their term for guys is Bud, if you are fine, they call you STUD, if you sexy, they call you HOT and if you are masculine…They call you a MAN

    They are as racist as the others, Their agenda is to advance the gay white man, Make America view the WHITE gay man as a minority. So, that they can be at the table with the other white men. Any little power that they are handing out, give it to white gay man FIRST

    THEY DON’T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THE GAY BLACK MAN. they believe that they can have US. IF THEY WANTED US. Regardless, how they look, they think every black man want a white man.

    You may think that you are non-approachable but you will be hit on by some middle age white scrub that call you BUD. Hey Bud. If you turn them down, they are offended. because it a honor to be with a white man.

    The black guys that date, marry and socialize with them, SOME of them act as it a STEP UP. They about to reap the white privileges that is allocated for the white man. They try their hardest to be a part of the community. They don’t view the community as separate. But they don’t understand that they will NEVER be equal to the GAY WHITE MAN…

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