someone shared a story with me recently and i wanted to share it with you.
its for all of those who are going through something,
or maybe you aren’t and like positivity shit.

when we look back in our lives,
we don’t realize things that go wrong help us in the future.

i have experienced shit going wrong and in the present moment,
i won’t even act like i don’t have a meltdown.
i’m asking if i’m cursed or if God hates me.
when i see how it helped or revealed something in the future,
in a few occasions helping me avoid danger,
i learned that maybe it all happened for a reason.
so this story is called,
“maybe” by alan watts,
and “maybe” someone in The Foxhole needed to read this story today…

its so heavy in my life rn,
i had to make a playlist of whitney’s gospel tracks and spiritual songs.

truly.
this year has been…

i faced so many disappointments,
especially with things and people i thought i knew.
i can’t even trust when i’m on solid ground anymore.
shit that don’t even make sense either.
just shit going wrong because the devil wants to fuck with me.
i told a friend the other day:

“if this was 2015,
i think i would have broken from all the weight.”

going further back,
i always use to say 2003 was one of the toughest years of my life.
2025 year has cracked me open to force me to pick up the pieces.
this year has broke me open and all the pieces…

i know a wolf that is in his mid 30s.
that same wolf was having sex with a vixen in her early 20s.
it was shortly after his break up from girlfriend of over 5 years.
after he broke up with her,
he was on an all inclusive pussy tour.
so this early 20s vixen was from his job and she was hungry for his meat.
so once he broke up,
he decided to fuck her and well,
the sex was:

“break up/hurt/angry sex” is always ah-mah-zinnng.
they started having sex all the time…

…meanwhile,
she had a wolf of her own btw.
…working at the same job btw.

yeah,
messy bitch city.
anyhoo,
she would always call and text him for sex and he’d give it to her;
in all the ways that was literally reupholstering the insides of her pussy.
she claimed that her man “doesn’t fuck her like this“.
so it seemed like they were vibing and i asked him:

“so would you think about dating her?”

and he responded…

of all the the things people use to witch hunt DL males,
i often laugh at “how he acts” or “what he wears”.
that is amateur hour and i’m in the big leagues of hunting.
so i’ll fill you in one of the biggest signs of being DL is for me…

someone asked me the other day:

“would you go to the funeral of someone who was once a friend, ex, or even a relative but ya’ll fell out years ago?”

my answer:

“NOPE.”

my friend was confused at the lack of empathy in my answer.
my thought…

last night,
i had a huge panic attack.
the last time i had one of those was at my last job back in 2019,
where i was looking like a malnourished twink.
the only time i get panic attacks is when i’m severely stressed out.
in this last week of october in 2025…

i am severely stressed out again.

“What did it feel like?”

i was asked that today.
it felt like…