i want to thank everyone for the comments in the last entry…
i have been dealing with a lot of bullshit,
but it helps to know i can come here and dump it all.
i often wonder where i would be if i didn’t have this outlet.
i don’t have any gay male friends i can turn to in my own life,
so it helps tremendously to come on here and have support.
i’m thankful for those that can pick me up when i’m down.
i suffer from depression,
low self esteem,
and suicidal tendencies.
i have my moments where i doubt myself tremendously.
i have a huge problem not seeing what everyone else sees.
i don’t see the beauty in me.
i don’t realize the magnitude of this blog either.
i see everything that’s wrong and become a control freak/perfectionist to fix it.
i’m not ashamed to be honest with you all about those things.
it isn’t the “sexiest” thing to admit,
but i don’t want anyone who can’t my flaws and all.
seeing as how i’d accept them for theirs.
as you know,
i don’t have much family to turn to.
my parents are dead and most of my family is all over but here.
the ones that are close are blacklisted and have been cancelled.
my close friends are here,
but many of them are black vixens and don’t understand the gay male struggle.
i’m not the type of gay they are use so i often get misunderstood.
so it’s pretty much just me and the foxhole,
a place where i can feel safe with those who “get me”.
the only place i can font to others who i “get” as well.
thank you for blessing me with you.