THIS IS WHY I NEED A LONG TERM WOLF!!! SHIT LIKE THIS!!!!

the actual story just happened.
I am still in a state of “almost crazy“.

——-

I was chillin on my bed just now.
Ya know, relaxing and shit.
I look to my right and out the corner of my eye,
I see something moving on the floor.
I was like:

“ok, maybe that was my blanket or something.”

I continued to relax when all shit happens.
I look down and see this thing just walking under me.
and the muthafucka was HUGE…

I did what any self respecting Fox would do.
Scream like a girl and run the fuck out my room.


I have no shame in admitting that.
I am PETRIFIED of mice.
I am so fucking scared of mice that I think I have a phobia.
I thought that muthafucka was a mouse.
I would have slept outside on a park bench tonight.

I run in the kitchen and grab my only weapon: a broom.
I was like:

“how could that be a mouse when all the lights are on in my apartment????”

I look down the hallway and see nothing.
I immediately call Star Fox.
I don’t know wtf he is going to do all the way down south,
but I figured give it a shot.

Can you believe he laughs at me?
In my time of distress,
this asshole is laughing at me.
He is trying to coach me as to what to do.
I am fuckin’ scared and shaking.
It was a bad look.
The phone suddenly hangs up and when I call back,
it goes to voice mail.

GREAT.

The phone was dying,
and since everything was in my room aka the hostage take over,
I was pretty much doomed.

I decided to get brave and look down the hallway.
I see this muthafucka walking out my room.

CLICK HERE TO SEE THE MUTHAFUCKA

I wanted to fuckin DIE!!!!!!!
I keep a very clean apartment,
so I don’t know how or where that muthafucka came from.
I took that same broom and that muthafucka saw his last image of my hallway.

WHAP!

I carefully scooped him up and flushed him.
His body should be floating in the Hudson River by now.
I know one thing: I’m fuckin’ scared to sleep in here tonight now.

I need someone to rescue me when shit like this happens.
I’m not built for shit like this when living alone!!!
Sigh.

9 thoughts on “THIS IS WHY I NEED A LONG TERM WOLF!!! SHIT LIKE THIS!!!!

  1. Why I could never live in NYC…I know mice and roaches are everywhere but them mofus are no joke there…it don’t matter how much you clean if your neighbors are nasty and got em then you gone get em too!!!! #faints

  2. Aw hell no, man I am petrified of rats, I live in the South and there is no such thing as mouses, we have big ass rats. My own funny rat story-I used to live in a old house and no matter what I did I could not get rid of the rats. Well one morning right before I woke up to go to work, I feel something crawling on my headboard, but I thought I may have just been dreaming. Well when I finally got the sleep out of my eyes, I look up and see a damn rat. I was like hollering like a little bitch, the rat crawled by my window. I pick up my Nike and threw it at his ass, he got away but I broke my damn window. I tried everything at Wal-mart and Home Depot to get rid of these bastards. Well a friend of mine told me to go to the hood feed store(for those not in the south, a feed store is a store where they sell things for gardens, and animals etc) Well the dude in their gives me some Rat poision, told me that shit I buy from Home Depot aint nothing but sweet tarts for the rats. Man I put this hood poision down and the rats were gone never to be seen in 3 days, only problem was had to clean up about 3 dead rats in the house.

    1. My fam needs some of whatever you got up in D.C.

      They’ve told me so many horror stories its ridiculous.

      1. IDK where your fam stays, cuz I’ve never seen a rat or mouse in my home. Spiders, crickets, occasional salamander, & even a snake once or twice (outside)…price you pay for being in the burbs. Heck, I had a deer at my door once lol

        But roaches & mice? Nawl. Now I’ve seen a mouse or two on the Metro, and my NYC apartment – moreso when my neighbors moved out…them fvckers were dirty – I kept my place good.

  3. LMAO….I’m sorry Jamari but that was funny. I could only imagine the look on your face. You might keep the apartment clean, but someone aroundgyou in another apartment may not. When people keep their house clean and they have roaches, whether it’s one or not, more than likely it’s one of their neighboors.

  4. Yeaaaa I’m not bout that rodent life at all. I’d climb over you to get out of the room. Lol

    I can hit a roach with a size 12 jordan from 10 feet away though.

  5. The pest/rodent community in NYC is no joke. Those little fvckers are built for war.
    PEST CONTROL

  6. lol, you wouldeve had a heart attack if that roach flew. I hate bugs too!! I almost crashed cause a wasp flew on me while i was driving lol.

  7. Lol I’m scared of mice too so I prolly would have done the same thing! I don’t like cockroaches either. Just thinkin about them makes me shaky. Ewwww

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