there are a lot of self absorbed people inserting themselves in this kirk franklin saga

kirk franklin has been the talk of the forests since “bitch ass pineapple-gate” with his son.
it would be no surprise that social media has been sharing opinions about his alleged canceled.
on clubhouse,
an app used to express ourselves vocally on virtual panels has been lit up with rooms about kirk.

the pretty vixen invited me to attend a discussion yesterday.
the room was called “kirk franklin and black parenting“.


as i was listening,
amongst some great points,
one thing struck a chord with me…

The number of people making this situation about them.

“My mother/father would never speak to me like that.”

“The way I grew up,
my father/mother would never utter those words to me.”

“I grew up in a Christian household,
but my parents knew how to be calm…”

…and all of that might be true,
but this situation doesn’t make kirk franklin a “bad father“.
i saw some people say kirk was an abusive parent because of this audio.
again:

How does one even know alla of this off of a 40-second clip?

we don’t have any context about this situation other than what we heard.
if we all heard how we sound within arguments,
when our testosterone is up,
i’m sure we would be up for judgment too.

i really want some people to learn the meaning of the word “context“.
folks run with a small narrative without getting the full story.

What if the son is actually wrong?

i was sent this meme and it’s pretty accurate if you ask me:

it’s crazy to me how black folks have been acting like full-blown “karens” in this situation.

“He said he would break his son’s neck!!!
What would have happened if they were in person????”


if i counted the number of times my mother said she would break my neck,
i’d probably be dead 20 times.
it’s really bizarre.
i need folks to stop acting dramatic over a sound bite.
folks are on 20 and i need them on a 5.
let’s all take a deep breath and wait till the full story comes out.

lowkey: i heard someone on clubhouse mention giving kirk franklin grace.
i found the word “grace” interesting.
in this society,
we don’t give grace to people who make mistakes these days.
we go quickly to the banishment.
i think we need to explore giving others grace for their sins,
especially those who wave that bible around within the toxic christianity.

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

35 thoughts on “there are a lot of self absorbed people inserting themselves in this kirk franklin saga

  1. Black people really think that getting your ass beat and being cursed out is the epitome of black parenthood and, that’s pretty sad & pathetic.

  2. I think the conversation about black parenting is much needed conversation, but this Kirk v. Kerrion situation shouldn’t be the catalyst. Dumbass Lil’ Boosie should have been… The son seems like an entitled brat that is throwing a hissy-fit ’cause daddy finally cut HIS 33-YEAR-OLD ASS off!!!!!!

    You’re a grown ass man. Hold your own nuts!!!

  3. Not only did my parents cuss us out, but they laid hands on us as well, I couldn’t be more grateful, it kept us out of jail/trouble. I don’t see what’s the big deal. Just some tough love.

    1. That’s sad and no your parents physically abusing you did not keep you out of jail, YOUR CHOICES DID.
      When will black people wake up and realize hitting and abusing your children is a byproduct of slavery, and break free of this generational curse!

    2. Honest question: Do you think your parents could have kept you out of jail/trouble without corporal punishment? Or do you think it is needed to discipline a child?

    3. Maybe no one ever told you, but it didn’t take your parents verbally or physically abusing you for years to keep you from being incarcerated. Maybe your parents should’ve gained better anger management and parenting tools..

    4. Well I’m grateful I had parents who didn’t curse at me or spank me/hit me.They weren’t perfect but they didn’t abuse me.And yes I consider the language I heard in that tape verbal abuse.I would also consider it verbal abuse
      if his son spoke to Kirk that way. Maybe he did and we just didn’t hear that part of the tape.I hope they can heal from this.

      Interestingly my cousins who have been to jail/prison were all spanked/whipped when they were kids.So sometimes hitting a child can have the opposite effect/result.

    1. I peeped that too, based on several of Kerrion’s responses. But the sister says he’s on drugs too.

  4. From the comments section as well as Jamaris post, seems like we should just let generational curses, emotional abuse, and normalized trauma within black families just continue because of tradition…Gotcha…
    As a parent, it is incumbent upon YOU to bring healing and peace to your family. Yes, children can test you with disrespect and behavior but what is going to be solved with threats pf physical violence and name calling??? We dont need any context to know that a Christian man who is supposed to be the head of his family talked to, and threatened his own seed like a nigga off the street with his spouse laughing in the background and THAT signifies an awful history of trauma in that family. His son is an adult and at this point if they cant find any resolution to whatever their issue is, the better resolution would be to cut ties contact with his son and pray for him than to have this type of toxic interaction.

    1. You hit the nail right on the head. Both sides have contributed to the toxicity that exists in this relationship. Folks, on the outside, making judgment have nothing to stand on. We have no full context as to why this audio exists in the first place. Some folks want to praise Kirk and elevate his point—Ricky Smiley and Steve Harvey—when they were not there in the discussion. Other folks want to bash the son because he leaked it—you don’t know whether he felt compelled after other efforts were exhausted. The way I see it, the son should’ve have leaked it BUT Kirk also seems to have anger issues. This is not the first time he used this aggressive language or threatened his son. The volume in that leaked audio tells me that. There’s no excuse for folks in the black community to give permission to Kirk’s antics just because they believe in :corporal punishment” or standing your ground against spoiled kids. This is NOT YOUR SON and THIS IS NOT YOUR FAMILY SITUATION so stop inserting yourself into it. Let it be, pray for all parties and make sure your family life is intact before commenting on others. Both Smiley and Harvey got family skeletons in their own closet so they shouldn’t be speaking. Some of y’all on this page have family issues; get off the throne before you look down on Kirk and/or Kerron.

  5. I’m trying to figure out why we’re even talking about parenting? THIS MAN IS 33!!!!!! If he were 13 and his father spoke to him that way, it’d be different, but this was an argument between 2 grown ass men!

    1. It’s about parenting because this IS parent. 33 years old or 3 years old, your parent is always gonna be your parent.

  6. Nobody said to cancel him. But he does need therapy. And he is a symbol of “Christianity”, so he has to always be on, even when he’s not in public. Isn’t one of the tenants of Christianity to be a “good example” Why does Saaphryi, a normal woman have a calm down prayer before the Lord directs her to beat your behind, but Kirk doesn’t?

    We don’t expect Kirk to be perfect. We expect him to use the resources his fame and discipleship and prayer and not be as raggedy as us.

    We’re ashamed that Kirk isn’t able to keep his calm like we want to.

    I don’t thinking leaking it was bad ultimately. It’s showing how HARSH Black parents are. And does that help? Does it get us in line and keep us from getting in trouble? What did not getting beat do for the Caucasians? I don’t know. My sister disciplined her child in front of me and it made me uncomfortable. But what Kirk does for his son is not ‘the best because he’s his father”.

    We have this “That’s not your child, mind your business” even when a child is being abused.

    And Jamari, just because your parents said it to you, doesn’t make it okay. It’s easy to call them self-absorbed, but you also are inserting yourself into the situation. Normalizing trauma shouldn’t the Black experience. Because for me when somebody says that, I don’t get mad, I get angry and say what? “N*gga, I wish you would! Try it!” and that just escalates things.

    1. This is really spot if. Jamari’s take on this is… concerning to say the least, but not unlike may folks I’ve seen responding to it. The really unfortunate part about this situation is not only did it expose the private inner workings of a family, but it also shows who around us didn’t receive the care they needed growing up AND how woefully unaware of that fact that they are. To type something up like this and confidently post it with the understanding that you’ve been talked to this way as well is actually not normal, at all. But, alas, such is life I suppose. This is an issue that’s a bit more heavily embedded in our culture and will take some time to fully dissect.

      1. Context is everything like he said. We have no clue whatsoever what they were even discussing that lead to that being said! This was not a situation that I would say he is a horrible father! His son in all honesty should have said fuck his father if he did not like what he said to him and kept family issues among family! People cancelling folk last I checked Alec Baldwin still working and he actually call his daughter a 🐖! Leave Kirk alone to work thru whatever him and his son going thru!!

        1. Yes you’re point about Alec Baldwin still working is the point we’ve been trying to make about ‘cancelling’ since it became a thing. No one is actually cancelled yet you idiots keep glossing over that.

  7. Chile the more I learn about this drama that doesn’t concern me, the more I’m not taking any sides because it is quite clear both have contributed to the dysfunctional relationship we witnessed over the past week.

    I will say this, however, having this on social media for random strangers to psychoanalyze matters they really know nothing about made the likelihood of any resolution and much needed healing less likely to occur.

    May they both receive the help they so desperately need. * pooches on to more pressing matters *

  8. This whole post is a shitty mess to me. Jamari let it be known what side of the fence he falls on in relation to this issue but calling people who’s parents chose not to abuse them “self-absorbed” is really offensive and quite fucked up.Then to go on and say they are “making it about themselves” while he, himself has dedicated multiple posts to the subject is the height of hypocrisy. Childhood physical abuse is not normal. Being cursed out by your parent is not normal. These are generational curses embedded so deep in our culture that they are fiercely defended when challenged. Maybe some of your parents had no better parenting and conflict resolution tools other than to cuss you the fuck out or beat the shit out of you when they got mad. Don’t blame us for the tools that your parents lacked.
    As the father and patriarch, Kirk Franklin is the head of his family. Fish rots from the HEAD. The breakdown and dysfunction of his family falls on his shoulders.His son says they mess stems back to his childhood. He hasn’t been apart of his family for years. So many people are defending Kirk because to call him out as wrong when mean taking deep dive and looking at the toxic behavior and language used by their own father. But that’s a convo most aren’t ready to have.

  9. This whole post is a shitty mess to me. Jamari let it be known what side of the fence he falls on in relation to this issue but calling people who’s parents chose not to abuse them “self-absorbed” is really offensive and kinda fucked up.Then to go on and say they are “making it about themselves” while he, himself has dedicated multiple posts to the subject is the height of hypocrisy. Childhood physical abuse is not normal. Being cursed out as a child is not normal. These are generational curses embedded so deep in our culture that they are fiercely defended when challenged. Maybe some of your parents had no better parenting and conflict resolution tools other than to cuss you the fuck out or beat the shit out of you when they got mad. Don’t blame us for the tools that your parents lacked.
    As the father and patriarch, Kirk Franklin is the head of his family. Fish rots from the HEAD. The breakdown and dysfunction of his family falls on his shoulders.His son says they mess stems back to his childhood. He hasn’t been apart of his family for years. Most people defend Kirks behavior and language because to question it would mean taking a deep dive and questioning the words and actions of their own father, but thats not a convo most are ready for..

  10. So, let’s be honest the Kirk Franklin situation is a problem and he absolutely had to apologize, one because he was totally in the wrong and two, he has to protect his brand. Let’s tackle the 2nd point first; when you are a world-renowned gospel artist you become an ambassador of the church and Christianity as a whole. When your whole namesake is wrapped up in Christian virtues you have to uphold those values at all times, you add to that his age and there really isn’t a reason for him to be talking that greasy to anyone let alone his own son.
    2nd, I kind of feel for Kerrion in this situation. I’m always someone who loves to do the math and if you do the math in this situation you realize that Kirk had Kerrion when he was a teenager 17 to 19 years old depending on how dates line up. If Kirk is talking greasy to Kerrion at 51 years old, I can only imagine how he was being talked to when Kirk was 25, 30, 40 years old; if we are to except that you become more mature as you age. Professionalism aside, your public and private personas should align; if for some reason they are shown to be drastically different then you just come across as being fake and phony.

    3rd , I see the youngest daughter named Kennedy coming to defend her dad, granted that is very understandable ; but I see 10 to 11 years as a huge age difference amongst siblings and the reality is the dad that Kennedy has experience maybe a vasty different dad than the one Kerrion got to experience. Something else that bothers me about this situation is the fact that if Kirk had spoken to his wife or daughter the way he spoke to Kerrion; society would’ve collectively drawn up banishment papers within the first 48 hours. In this society where we are trying to eliminate the differences between the genders; why aren’t men given the same space to tell their truths about their traumas

    1. In Kirk’s apology(ironically to his fans) he said “you may already know that I have an older son.” That boy was not and has not been a part of Kirks family unit. He’s a child he had out of wedlock when he was a teen himself. He went on to become a wealthy gospel singer and build a completely new family unit. That alone is enough to give a person. The language was bad enough. The threats were bad enough but what jarred me the most was his wife laughing hysterically in the background. Almost enjoying this toxic exchange between father and son.

  11. So once again Jamari decided to insert himself into the situation that he claims others shouldn’t be inserting themselves into because we don’t actually know the details. So how bout you drop it then. I haven’t listened to the audio and I’m not going to.

  12. At the end of the day, you’re a human being before you’re a Christian. Had this not been Kirk and some rapper, no one would even dare to think about “canceling him” it’s so funny how everyone all of a sudden become saints without sin behind a device screen, when someone has a out of character moment. He’s fucking human. As a Christian and ambassador for GOD he’s definitely held at a higher standard, so I do agree it was inappropriate. But no human being no matter how God-like is immune from human emotion. It happens. I wasn’t even shocked when I heard the audio. There could have been plenty of other conversations Kirk had with his son where he talked to him level headed that weren’t recorded, and this moment just happened to be the breaking point. GOD is the real decision maker as far as who gets canceled or not, people are idiots to think they have that much power.

    1. So………when 50 Cent…and Tommy Lee…..and Xzhibit…..and Future….and Young Jeezy threatened, fought, or cuss their sons out, and everyone called them out for it, what were you doing? Or when TI said numerous horrible things about his daughter’s body? Or when Kevin Hart joked about his daughter being a ho, nobody batted an eyelash, huh?

      1. Batting a eyelash and being called out is a far cry from being “canceled” Almost every entertainer that you named is still making millions of dollars and are prominent figures in entertainment. So whatever point you’re trying to prove fell kinda flat. A temporary backlash that people forget about within two seconds is different from actual cancelation. R. Kelly and bill cosby are good examples of a actual effective cancel.

        Most of the time this fake outrage comes from bandwagon fans who weren’t even real fans in the first place. Just internet trolls threatening to not support, but still bumping the culprits music or watching their shows. Do you think people are really this emotionally invested in people that they don’t even know? Also Rappers aren’t held at the same standard as a gospel artist. So even if they do something that causes an uproar it’s a little more expected and not as surprising compared to someone like Kirk acting out of character. None of those artist you named (except TI which was a completely different situation) are or were trending the way that Kirk is trending right now. There’s a huge difference.

  13. So what if he’s on drugs? He should get him help. So what he’s grown? He’s his son. Parenting doesn’t end when a son/daughter hits 18 (or 21). It’s a lifelong commitment. Granted Kerrion may be spoiled, but after hearing that exchange, he and Kirk DO NOT have a normal father-son relationship. There’s a lot of abuse, gaslighting, and narcissism. Instead of running to boring ass Tamron Hall he should’ve hired a therapist to mediate a discussion with him and his son. But Kirk is a fame whore who’ll do anything to maintain his public image, even if that means throwing his son under the proverbial bus. Old school Black parents (Baby Boomers & Gen Xers) are holding on to that “spare the rod” nonsense and look what it’s done to society, a bunch of drug/sex addicted maladjusted crybabies in charge of being the future. This whole tough love, bootstraps mentality has destroyed so many Black families.

    The root of this is Kerrion is homosexual and Kirk has issues with that… the sins of the father.

    1. Wow that’s interesting because Kirk just condemned homophobia and said it has nothing to do with the Bible.He also talked about his close gay friends during a Sirius radio interview last month with Clay Cane, the black gay host.

      But I do know there are people who can have gay friends,stand for gay rights but still have an issue with having a gay child.

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