admitting your secrets to someone can be scary.
that opens you up to a whole world of judgment.
for private people like myself,
and im sure like you,
it can be like removing a limb.
maybe even a piece of your heart.
you just hope and pray that they won’t hurt you with what you share.
thats always the risk with telling your secrets.
some people may use it against you.
so i told work wolf about me and well…
so today he waited for me after work.
we usually walk to the station and go our separate ways.
the beginning talk was about mi.
he was still shocked i was kicking her out…
…until i told him the full story.
“oh then she needs to pack her shit and be gone.”
i knew that opinion wouldn’t last long.
so i don’t know when the convo turned,
but it came on to trust.
i told him i don’t trust a lot of people.
after mi showed her ass,
i definitely am having trust issues now.
“well you still gotta let people in and j.”
so i asked him somewhere in the convo what it is he liked about me.
i was curious plus i also wanted his constructive criticism.
“i like that you have a good heart.
you are very loyal and you are talented.
the things you do with style always impress me…”
then i asked what he didn’t like.
“you are kinda bitchy.”
“what do you mean bitchy?!” i asked.
“sometimes you have an attitude for no reason.
i like it when you are happy,
but i take it as its because…
by this time we are full eye contact.
this is the most he has ever looked at me in the eyes.
“its because what?”
“how can i find the words to say it…”
i already knew where this was going.
“…lets just say this.
when i talk to you,
its like i’m talking to my girlfriend.”
“no its not bad at all.
when i talk to my boys,
its about sports and hoes.
we talk about my future and how you want me to get my life together.
you are like the good angel in my life.”
then he said:
“you know when i first met you,
i already knew about you…”
so then i just told him my secret,
but i let him know how private i am.
“oh trust i am very private about some things in my life too…”
i felt naked in front of him.
i left him feeling open,
but i don’t know what to think.
he said that he doesn’t care about me being gay and if he did,
we wouldn’t be cool.
he said he still wants to chill with me outside of work.
so everything is on the table.
if he gonna be cool,
he would have to find out sometime.
i do feel kinda feel awkward tho.
we’ll see if this makes this friendship stronger from here on out.