for the last month,
i’ve woken up wanting to die.
i got it off my chest.
i can see you judging.
confused and kinda scared too.
well don’t be.
i’m not going to kill myself.
my job has been really taking a toll on me.
physically i never let them see me sweat.
it has me super depressed and just…
i get no respect there.
i’ve tried to earn it and i’ve failed.
you can’t try to gain respect when everyone is suckin’ each other off.
so i wanted to speak to mr. green.
i really wanted to ask him how i’ve been doing.
i trust his word.
he doesn’t work in the same building as me,
but he stopped by earlier this week.
i knew that was my chance.
well he told me about an incident that happened between us.
liar liar also included.
something that was all the way false.
so i defended myself.
i also let him know everything ive been experiencing.
it was only fair,
well that was a bad decision.
he told my boss,
which was expected,
and then she wanted to speak to me about it.
well she accused me of trying to create a hostile work environment,
not being a team player,
and having an attitude that as she says “intimidates her”.
her minion does a great job of stirring the spot,
i have always been a team player from the day i got there,
and keeping to myself doesn’t mean i have an attitude.
sure i don’t look as happy around them,
but everyone else gets “happy jamari”.
why is it that THEY can be nasty to me,
but i have to sit and take every inch of it?????
see the issue is i don’t allow her to come at me wrong.
every other person was manipulated and thrown out.
i speak up for myself.
i also bring plenty of,
…whats the word i’m looking for?
…so the outcome?
almost everyone is distant towards me.
everyone has taken their sides.
its like the roles got reversed.
i’m the bad guy.
one who did nothing wrong!!!!
whatever liar liar told the mailroom wolves worked.
people who use to say “wassup” don’t even talk to me.
people who use to give me “dap” give everyone else.
they have even started hanging with the wolf who just started.
they all went out for drinks tonight.
liar liar was all loud about it so i could hear.
no one invited me at all.
not that i expected it or would want to hang with them.
why are these people so petty???
for such a good company,
you work with some real fuckin kids.
i couldn’t do it.” – my homegirl via text.
i think everyone in my life knows about this job.
they get daily updates in texts.
sometimes live as shit happens.
its a pretty lonely place at this job.
a place where i see i don’t fit in.
not like i had a lot of friends there,
but it was all good about a week ago.
i just do my job and come home.
i will say i dream so much harder now.
i literally fantasize myself doing what i love.
i even have dreams of being rescued.
they can’t take that away from me.