The Betrayal of The Work Wolf?

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so work wolf and i are done.
over.
put a fork in it.
he pretty much betrayed me to the lowest bidder.
i wasn’t going to write tonight,
but if i didn’t,
i know i would have snapped off.
i guess i should’ve known better…

so as of recent,
work wolf has been really moody.
he admitted to me he has been moody.
the job has been stressing him out.
he also admitted to treating me like shit,
but he apologized for it yesterday.
like earlier this week it was all good.
today comes and he is a born again asshole.
so i decided to go over to his desk right after i clocked out.
he usually meets me downstairs.
when i got there,
he was really distant.
so i told him i was going to go home alone.
he tried to stop me,
but then said “cool and thanks”.
i figured that was because i understood he was feeling moody.
i told him we will talk tomorrow.

“bet”

so when i got in my crib,
i got a text from the vixen at my job.
the mutual one that usually tags along with us.

“are you ok?”

“yeah why?”

so she begins to tell me how work wolf told her,
with liar liar standing there,
that he told me to go home because he didn’t feel like talking to me.

wait…
he TOLD me to go home?

…so she said after liar liar left to go home,
they both went and had a drink.

“was he moody with you?”

“not at all.”

“wow.”

“he said he didn’t want people to start talking.
thats why he sent you home.”

wait.
again.
SENT me home?
from what i remember,
he was having a mood swing and i picked up on it.
instead of dealing with an attitude,
i lot my shit and left..
so wtf is he talking about?
and all of a sudden,
he worried about people talking about us?
i thought he didn’t give a fuck?
she told me how he is trying to leave the job.
he told me that earlier today.
i was supportive of his decision and basically “cheer leadered”him to go.

i’m really hurt tonight.
i’m in shock that i don’t even want to believe it.
we talked today and he even bought me lunch,
but now he flipped on me?
a side of me wanted to text him and ask him “wtf?”,
but i have no words for him tonight.
how could he do this to me?
i feel so betrayed and going to say what he said in front of liar liar.
i don’t know what to say.
all i know his contact is out my phone and his text thread is deleted.
i wanted to go as far as changing my number.
i don’t want nothing to do with him.
he doesn’t know anything yet,
but i’m over it all.
and wtf was all that talk that “he accepted me for me” bullshit?
was that just talk?
i’m done,
but i feel really stupid to put my trust in him.
like he acted comfortable,
and now its a problem?
was this all an act?

like i don’t even know what to say besides i just want to cry.

tumblr_mb75ocwoCT1qmfh3wi guess i deserve it.
i thought he was a real “friend”.
he may not have been all along.

lowkey: i don’t even know to handle him tomorrow.
i have a headache.
i’m going to bed.
thank you foxhole for listening.

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

122 thoughts on “The Betrayal of The Work Wolf?

  1. Oh Jamari! I am sorry to hear this! I do understand your reaction, as I seem to have that quick impulse as well. How do you know vixen wasn’t lying to you? Some people will go to any length to see another suffer. Has work wolf ever lied to you? If not, do you think he deserves his side of the story (if there even is one)?
    I have more on my mind, but having a hard time trying to get what I want to say to come out right…

    Sending BIG hugs

  2. I couldnt be more disappointed. I hate that in order to save face he threw you under the bus the first chance he had. That’s cowardly and someone you wouldnt want around at all. Hopefully it was a misunderstanding. But why would work vixen lie about something like that? Im so sorry your trust was betrayed like that, TVTwin.

  3. Daaaaaaammmmmnnnn son! He foul for that. Told you he a little boy mentally. And you can just block him. No need to change your number.

      1. Remember the old saying, three sides to every story, his side, her side, and the truth. Don’t jump to conclusions and get in your feeling until you hear him out.

  4. DoucheBag Confused Azz Mutgafuckha!!! YOU BETTA GO TO WORK & MAN-DA-FUCK UP .. Now maybe you’ll Fuck him Just to Finish him off…Where’s ya Blair Warner??!?

  5. This is typical closet case behavior, I wouldn’t take it personal Jamari. He’s dissing you because he is insecure about himself obviously. His attraction to you drives him insane.

    This is one of many bumps in the road you will deal with when engaging with a self hating queen.

    Im being completely serious. You can say fuck it, or you can move forward knowing that he will probably continually lash out on you for this.

  6. I’ve been following this sage for awhile but, I’m confused here. Does work wolf have some some kind of supervisor role where he can send you home?

    1. He doesn’t mean he ORDERED him to go home.They usually walk to the train together.Today Work Wolf said you can go to the train without me .You can head home without me.

      Personally I am not going to end a friendship based on heresay.I would talk to him myself and get his side of the story.I am not saying she is a liar but I like to hear the other side and then make my decision.It is very odd that he was fine at lunch and a few hours later he doesn’t want people talking AFTER he bought you lunch.

  7. MAN FUCK DAT NIGGA, I SWEAR THESE BIG ASS MUSCLE SO CALLED MANLY DUDES IS SOME OF THE BITCHIEST MADE FAGS OUT HERE!!! SORRY FOR MY LANGUAGE BUT THAT’S FUCKED UP. THAT GIRL HAS NO REASON TO LIE TO YOU. HE ALREADY SHOWED HE’S A SOMETIMEY KIND OF DUDE, IF SOMEBODY CAN’T ACCEPT ALL OF YOU FOR YOU, THEN GOOD RIDDANCE. I KNOW IT HURTS BECAUSE YOU GAVE HIM A LOT OF YOUR TIME, ATTENTION, FOCUS, AND LOVE. FOR HIM TO PLAY YOU OUT LIKE THIS. I THINK YOU SHOULD SHOW HIM NO MERCY!! IF IT’S OVER LET IT BE OVER. DON’T JUST ERASE HIS CONTACT BLOCK IT. IGNORE HIM. ACT LIKE HE DOESN’T EXIST, IF HE QUITS AND YOU NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN SO WHAT. HE’S GOING TO LIVE A MISERABLE LIFE. HE SEEMS TO HAVE EVERYTHING AND STILL DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH IT. IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT HE LIKES MEN AND USING YOU AS A SCAPEGOAT. PEOPLE ARE TALKING BECAUSE HE IS TREATING YOU LIKE HIS BOYFRIEND NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND. LET HIM TAKE HIS CONFUSED ASS AND MOVE THE FUCK ON. HE ALWAYS GONNA BE UNHAPPY AND UNFULFILLED AND SO IS THE RAGGEDY BITCH THAT GETS WITH HIM. NOW THAT HE IS OUT OF THE PICTURE AND NO LONGER A DISTRACTION THINK ABOUT HOW MUCH FURTHER YOU CAN GO JAMARI. YOUR IDLE TIME WILL NO LONGER BE WASTED THINKING OR CARING ABOUT HIM. ALL THAT LOVE? GIVE IT BACK TO YOUR DAMN SELF. YOU ARE THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO HIM NOT VICE VERSA. HE WILL MISS YOU MORE THEN YOU’LL EVER MISS HIM. TRUST ME LET HIM GO. WHAT HE DIDIS UNFORGIVEABLE AND YOU CAN NEVER TRUST HIM AGAIN SO WHAT’S THE SINCE OF EVEN KEEPING IT ALIVE? SO IF HE DIDN’T WANT TO TALK TO YOU TODAY, DO HIM ONE BETTER AND NEVER SPEAK TO HIM AGAIN. DO HIM THAT FAVOR THAT HE “WANTS”. HE SHOULD NEVER HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT SHIT FROM JAMARI FOX EVER THE FUCK AGAIN. MOVE ON WITH YA LIFE AND DO SO WELL THAT YOU LAUGH AT THIS BITCH NIGGA A YEAR FROM NOW, AND LAUGH AT YOURSELF THAT YOU ALMOST LET HIM DEVASTATE YOUR LIFE. HE AIN’T WORTH IT, HE AIN’T SHIT. YOU ALREADY SAID HE DUMBER THAN A MOTHAFUCKA WHEN YOU READ HIS RESUME AND WONDERED HOW HE EVEN GOT THE JOB HE HAS NOW. HE CAN’T KEEP YOU AND HE CAN’T KEEP THESE BITCHES SO HE IS HIS OWN PROBLEM. BUT YOU DON’T WANT A DUMB MOTHAFUCKA WHO CAN’T COMMIT AND FOR ALL YOU KNOW CAN’T EVEN FUCK. TRUST ME IN DUE TIME, YOU WILL REALIZE YOU ROMANTACISED ALL OF THIS AND MOST OF THE SHIT YOU THOUGHT WAS SO GREAT ABOUT HIM WAS ALL IN YOUR HEAD. I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT YOU GIVE HIM MORE CREDIT THEN HE DESERVES. HE CAN’T BE ALL OF THAT AND STILL ACTING LIKE A BITCH AND NOT THE “MAN” EVERYTBODY THINKS HE IS. LISTEN IT AIN’T YOUR FAULT HE QUESTIONING HIS SEXUALITY, JUST KNOW THAT YOU A BAD MOTHAFUCKA TO EVEN PUT THE THOUGHT IN HIS MIND. SORRY FOR THE ESSAY BUT I HOPE HE GET HIS ASS WHOOPED.

  8. Smh can’t trust anyone these days and it’s sad.

    I’ve been there where a person you thought you could finally be open with flips on you just when you get comfortable.

    Sad to say, but I’ve resolved to be alone. That’s the only solution for me to maintain my sanity. I’m cordial and speak to anyone but I put nothing past anyone.

    I think the best thing to do is completely ignore him and focus on your work. He’ll have you looking emotional and crazy at work and that’s not good! Leave that personal shit away from the workplace!

    Put your game face on. Be cold as ice. Do not let anyone see you sweat!

    1. I’m with you Jay, I’m the same way, accept most of the time I don’t usually speak unless spoken to and I’m being cordial, but I keep to myself to, I have no time for stupid ass behavior

  9. Wait, wait, wait!

    Okay, I think you might be jumping the gun here. You don’t have all the evidence yet. Don’t just react, this is the perfect time to think! This is the time to be calm, cool, and collected. Make sure your facts are straight before you ex-communicate, so that way you know EXACTLY why you’re doing it.

    The only things you know are from what this vixen said to you, and his recent behaviour, which could be indicative of what she said being true, but its not necessarily incriminating.
    You need to hear his side of the story before you react and make these big decisions.
    I’d suggest, being quiet and watching his behaviour for another day or two and then try to get to the bottom of it, before that you let him know that if there’s anything that he needs to talk about, you’re there, and this may get some sort of confession out of him, if not you can then start to pry. This also gives you time to think about how YOU want this to go.

    Why am I suggesting this? because you both have invested a lot of time in this, and you don’t want to lose a friendship over a little miscommunication. What if he was lying to the vixen to save face from HER? Or to sound cool. He may not even meant what he said, he was probably just being an idiot.

    What if his behaviour has something to do with his vixen that he’s smashing? (how much you wanna bet it has something to do with that? My suspicions are heavily pointing to this.)

    If what she said is true, then I feel like you owe it to yourself to have at least one final conversation with him about this before you end it because this sounds fixable to me, not a deal breaker, and I am the king of ex-communicating, but within reason.

    This is the time to think about the personality of your friend, and his past behavours, be calculated, get the answers you NEED and THEN make the appropriate decision.
    Just my .02

    1. This is the best comment in here hands down. You just received third party information about work wolf and now you’re gonna run with it. You’re doing yourself a disservice, and also work wolf (who up until today you considered a close friend). You owe it to yourself and to HIM to get to the bottom of it.

      Cutting him off because of how you feel, or what someone else tells you does not sit well with me. Stop making decisions off emotion, stop competing with Liar Liar, let reason and rationality guide you. Think first. Act second. Right now you’re at hear third party information first, assume second, make decisions off emotion third.

      You JUST posted how you overthink things, now here you are writing dissertations about how you’ve been tragically betrayed.

      Get a grip.

      (I say all this in love)

    2. 👏👏👏Definitely agree with Dignified. You don’t have to mention names, but ask him about it. You’ve both bonded too much to not have a talk about it privately before cutting him out completely.

  10. Frankly, I don’t think there’s anything left to explain or discuss.

    Only thing that will come out of that is possibly a heated exchange at the workplace and then you look incompetent to your superiors.

    You know where you stand with him now, this is your chance to get off the rollercoaster…or keep riding and maybe ya’ll will be cool next week, but you’ll always be wondering what he’s saying behind your back to save face.

    I have zero tolerance for duplicitous behavior.

  11. I’m telling you, don’t do it. By confrontin him about this it will just open the door for him to really take out his frustrations on you and for him to really try to disrespect you and demolish and might even try to do it in front of other people. End it on your note not his. You don’t owe him one last conversation. I think we all know he did it, and none of us are that surprised. You’re setting yourself up for him to really put a emotional hurting on you cuz he’s gonna tell you you’ll not boyfriend and girlfriends, and that you’re to feminine, and youll cant be friends and you on ya period and shit like this. thats what these closeted little boys do. They want a woman so badly but never stay with one really aceept for sex, that means he’s fucking all these women to prove some shit to himself, and I think you should stay out of his personal battle, because he’ll use you as the problem and it has nothing to do with you. live your life away from him. you know and he knows that you were a great friend to him and nobody can take that away from you. he’ll never find another friend like you, it’s gonna be his loss and it’ll haunt him for the rest of his days. move on jamari. DO NOT TRY TO SAVE THIS!! DON’T SET YOURSELF UP TO PUTTING THE BALL BACK IN HIS COURT. Him and his moodswings can go have several seats somewhere. you are to good to him for him to act pissy at you, and now he’s making fun of you behind your back?!?!? FUCK HIM!!!

    1. Work Wolf knows not to try Jamari because he has a slick ass mouth and will get that was together. I don’t think Work Wolf would do anything like that in public. He doesn’t have to try to save the relationship but he can at least hear him out and see what’s the issue.

  12. Phoenix, I think u r over reacting.Just like Jay said he may have said that to save face. I’m not defending him or anything, I always give people the benefit of the doubt. If u want some answers, confront him tomorrow and as he’s speaking watch his body language and look him straight in the eyes, u’ll find your answer… I love u little bro. Stay strong!

  13. How odd that I am reading this post after going through past messages of my work wolf and myself.

    This is rather disappointing and a bit sad. I actually feel emotionally invested in this relationship because of what has been shared with us. Do you feel that your vixen friend has any reason to lie? I honestly think that before you cut him off completely that you need to COMMUNICATE with him and get the answers you desire because otherwise you are going to drive yourself wondering if you actually lost a good friend, etc.

  14. Jamari, I really feel like you’re getting some HORRIBLE advice in here. People are being way to critical of work wolf, and while trying to appease you they’re ignoring your previous actions. I feel for you. I do. But I also want you to be honest with yourself. To paint him as a villain here is the easy way out.

    To be real with you. This situation is what it is because of decisions you made. Your intent was never to be friends (in the traditional sense). You want(ed) him sexually. That has ALWAYS been the goal. The hope. The desire. He is straight (as far as we know). Maybe he thought he could navigate a friendship with you, now he can’t. Maybe he thought you would make a good friend, but you acting like his “girlfriend” is making him uncomfortable. If you’re a true friend, you’ll understand his dilemma. Or at least you’ll try to see his perspective.

    If you just wanted to fuck him, you’ll blame him for what you always knew was a possibility.

    Let’s not pretend you’re all innocent here. Also, let me reiterate. You’re getting third party information. That don’t count.

    Be careful bro. Take a few days to cool down before you make any decisions.

    1. Nope, that’s not all the way true. Jamari think about it you used to have a crush on him? so what?!?! u never acted on it and he flirted back just as much, so he is as guilty as you are, u have been very upfront and transparent with him. so that whole he cant be friends with you now because your like his girlfriend. thats what he wants you to be, and he treats you like that, you’ve been a good friend to him and took out your sexual feelings and he goes out of his way to make you feel that way about him again. you are innocent in this. i dont know why some of your readers are going up for work wolf. he played you. from what u say that girl is only a friend, to you and him. you all hang out together, so she was probably confused to why all three of you weren’t hanging out. not everybody wants work wolf obviously she doesn’t or she wouldnt have bothered checking up on you, like a real friend does. I applaud the vixen because she hangs with you’ll and see how much he wants you, and it probably pissed her off that he was trying to switch it up, while she knows the real deal. she spoke up because I don’t think she wants to see you play yourself.

    2. ^^ this just proves that this situation is very complex from both sides, and proves even more so why stopping and thinking it through will do EVERYONE justice in this scenario.

      I am usually the first person to ex-communicate someone for foolishness, but I believe that in THIS situation, that’s the quick way out, but actually may do more harm than good for both parties. Even if Jamari doesn’t confront him, this may lead itself to a screaming match anyway (especially if this IS a miscommunication).

      I trust my intuition, and from what i’ve read in this post and all the posts up till now, its just not quite enough to go on. Yes, he’s proven to be wishy-washy with these vixens, but he has a similar pattern with them, he fucks them, gets bored, then dumps them. This situation is a little bit more “involved” than that. Because of the “straight”/gay dynamic here, a discussion about this is probably necessary to get into each other’s heads about each other’s expectations. If work wolf needs space, then these types of things need to be discussed.
      No one was perfect in this scenario, so this is the opportunity to really figure out the direction of this friendship (or whatever it is).

      Personally, I would need that discussion for the sake of closure, and a holistic perspective, rather than me thinking “what-if I went overboard?” “what-if___?<<<<insert hypothetical situation here".

      Honestly, it's all about communication. Just speak up and be honest, get everything off your chest and move on. I thought y'all were friends for life, and can talk about anything? I don't believe in "friends for life" but, if you believe this friendship is worth a damn, this is the opportunity to put that to the test. How much is it worth to YOU? If not much, then walk away, but I don't buy that you can walk away that easily Jamari. Not yet, and not like this. IJS.

    3. You sound like Iyanla Vanzant!!! I agree with the fact that you can’t run with hearsay (not saying hearsay is always false) but it is what it is. This is all odd behavior but people have their funny moods. Ask yourself this: Why are you and work wolf “friends”? What do you have in common other than the job? What value add does he provide to your life? I don’t see a friendship; I see two people using one another for an uncommunicated personal gain…ATTENTION! Which is fine but let’s s call it what it is and BE FREE!!!

  15. I can’t believe people on here is suggesting ending a relationship(friendship) based on the words of a third party.Really? So if someone said your friend or boyfriend said something negative about you ,you would simply delete their number and never address the accusation with them.I would hate to have a friend like that who wouldn’t give me the benefit of the doubt .
    Good night

    1. work wolf has been flakey and sometimey since day 1, its only a matter of time before he pulled this shit. I feel bad but Im not surprised. Id hate to have a friend that cane bt upfront and feels the need lie and play me behind my back. Listen Jamari that girl ain’t lie to you, she wasn’t even there to know some of the shit that happened before you went home, it sounded like he twisted how shit happens to play you and she told on his ass. Im sure she lies you more than him because you are in love with him you probably cant see how big of an asshole he is but somebody whos not (like your friend) probably already knew he was shady

      1. You’re right. Work wolf has been flakey from day one. We warned Jamari. Yet, he continued to pursue a relationship with him because he motivated by his desire to fuck. Period.

        That had always been the goal. Friendship was secondary.

        Jamari can’t simply demand WW to stop being wishy washy now because it makes him sad.

        If this is a true friendship (like he’s been trying to convince us it is), then Jamari will perform his DUTY as a friend, and figure it out.

  16. Friendship though? I don’t take that title lightly, I’m aware others don’t share my sentiments though.

    What Jamari has with Star Fox was a friendship that I envied.

    This was something else…

    Like I said, everything doesn’t require a reaction or a discussion, especially at work.

    1. I don’t take friendship lightly either, but Jamari and Work Wolf were “friends” (or something) up until recently. This was someone he cared for and was willing to invest his time in to get to know, and from what it seems, it was a two way street initiated BY Work Wolf. If it’s not a “full-fledged” friend, it was certainly headed in that direction, so yes, this needs to be treated like a friendship ending imo.

      Does it compare to Star Fox? Absolutely not, and no one can replace that special spot, so its not even worth comparing.

      Sure not everything requires a discussion, but this does, and who says they have to talk at work?
      If this was an acquaintance then I would agree 100% with what you’re saying, but this actually had potential, and THAT is why it might be worth exploring.

  17. Well Damn! I did not see this coming, but reading the situation and the comments, I am more on board with @I’ll say it since you’ll wont- If this is true, WW is indeed a closet case, I was giving him the benefit of the doubt but this behavior is typical of dudes who dont want the light to shine on them. I will tell the truth, in my younger days, I have thrown dudes under the bus who I worked with just to save face, knowing all along, I like men probably more than they did, but I had this phony image to maintain before I grew up and matured. This dude is dealing with his attraction to you and he cant fight it. If this vixen has never in the past presented herself as messy and never did anything like this, she is telling the truth. Put on ya brave face tomorrow and when he ask you whats up, tell him aw Bro I met this cool ass dude and he got my mind in another place, never let him know you are even bothered, let him kill himself wondering what happened. I have seen it before, people are tore up when they know they have messed up a good thing and cant figure out what happened. I would be dry as the dessert but you still have to work with him and a sudden shift can cause more drama than intended in the workplace. Dont give tired as Liar Liar and this messy Queen the satisfactions. Since they wanna play games, play them right back, you dont owe them nothing, neither of them sign your check. It is sad when we open up to people nowadays we have to always wonder what is their motive, if they not your day ones, they can rarely be trusted. It’s only a test, and you are still going to pass, all these trials of the last few years are preparing you for these big blessings coming your way. You are going to be able to stand in storm and not fall. Thank God anyhow for this test.

    1. This is tolally how I would approach the situation…..the best advice on this board. I was patiently waiting for you or the man to provide realness on this matter.

    2. THANK YOU!!! FINALLY SOMEBODY WITH SOME SENSE AGREES WITH ME. Follow atlanonymous advice if you want to obviously he’s young and has no idea what the fuck he’s talking about. Be bigger by paying it dust, you’ll get over him, trust me itll hurt and itll take time but work on yourself, do what you need to do for you, and he’ll become a distant memory, but dont let anybody play you. you are worth so much more then his bullshit. why should u have to go have a fnial conversation with him? he the one thats fucked up, if he cant talk to you why go out of ur way to pry some shit out of him. he’d rather play you behind ya back and gossip about u with some bitches instead of talking right to you about it.like i said let that goodbye earlier today have been ur final goodbye. when u walked out that door make that the door u walked out of forever, i would go a step further and return the shit he bought you, dont do it personally but find a way to get it back to him where u don’t have to be the one to actually do it. let him know 2 can play that game and you will take it all the way there.

      1. Please. I’ve been around a long time.

        How did Jamari get played when he was the one who wasn’t honest about his intentions??? How did Jamari get played when he KNEW from the beginning that work wolf might not be ready to completely explore his sexuality?? How did Jamari get played when it was made clear from day one that WW was not emotionally available?

        Try to twist and rationalize this if you want to. Ya’ll got caught up in the fairytale from the beginning (without a critical eye), and now ya’ll mad Jamari didn’t find his prince charming.

        WW saw the light, and now wants to abandon ship (if this third party info is true).

      2. @I’ll say it, since you’ll wont- Bro you are hardcore, I hollered when you said get the shit back to him, man I see you dont mind slicing a bitch down to the white meat. LMAO. You the kind of friend a Brotha needs when he is in a fight at the club, cause you gone ride or die. I know many on here think you are harsh, in your approach, but sometimes you got to put it all on the table and make people RESPECT you. Sadly, we got to look at the fact if WW treats women like shit, he will treat everybody around him like shit eventually, if he has never mentioned no other friends in his life or any significant others in his life except the vixens he messes with, that really is cause to look at some red flags. God may be moving him out of J’s life for a reason, I am somehow getting the sense that this dude may be hiding a lot of who he actually is, he probably has a trail of drama following him. Cut the losses now and keep it moving. Again, I say if your girl at work has not ever presented herself to be messy, its a wrap.

    3. It may very well be true that Work Wolf is a closet case. He is OBVIOUSLY not ready to take the next step. Even if there was a curiosity there. Jamari knew that was a possibility, and pursued him anyway.

      How does that make him innocent here?

      Ya’ll act like it’s Jamari’s responsibility to make this man come out the closet, and if he’s not successful then it’s WW’s fault. Now he’s evil and selfish and blah blah blah.

      No. Jamari knew the risks. WW should also be allowed to explore his sexuality how he sees fits. He never made any promises to Jamari, he always made it CLEAR what his intentions were (JamarI did not).

      Please. I love Jamari…but I’m not gonna let folks make excuses for him.

      1. Let me say this before I go to bed. I want to know what in the hell are you talking about. None of the points you made have anything to do with this incident. Im so confused and maybe even trying to see where you’re coming from is a waste of my time. I’m sure you do love Jamari and if he was wrong in this situation I’ll be the first one to say it. He’s not though. Jamari has yet to throw mr work wolf under the bus or play him behind his back with co-workers and associates. Thats the topic at hand. He’s not a good friend. Him having a crush on him ain’t got shit to do with it, and nobody said Jamari was trying to force him out the closet. That man got his own demons and issues and is using jamari to try to throw attention off of him or to try to blame him for how he’s feeling now. Jamari can’t control the reason dude cant be comfortable with his sexuality. It didn’t start with jamari and its not jamari fault, and what I’m not gonna do is let you make jamari feel bad for some shit that has nothing to do with him. Jamari read what Tajan has said somebody who was a work wolf at one point in his life and can tell u exactly what’s going on. When somebody shows you who they are believe them, don’t go investigating and find out the hard way and inreal life, what you know in the pit of your stomach to be true. I know you may want to talk to him and hope its a big misunderstanding so you guys can get back to where you were, but we both know he did what he did. The trust is broken, and if you let him back in and he pulls somethign even bigger and more hurtful you’ll only have yourself to blame, because you have people who care about you, who have been through this same shit and are trying to help you from falling in the same traps they have. Like they say a hard head makes a soft ass. Jamari you will do what you want, I’m fearful the loving compassion part of you will do what atlanonymous says, and you are gonna get your face straight craked and probably in front of a group of people. Stay loving and compassionate but sometimes you can’t waste those feeling and virtues on everybody. he fucked up, and sometimes when you fuck up you pay the price, and sometimes the price is losing a jamari fox, who we all want or wish we had in our lives. Goodnight

  18. @tajan- lol man I just try to keep it real, and unfortunately it has to be harsh. what he did was horrible and can only lead to him doing shadier shit, and yea bro i am ride or die i dont play with people’s kid’s and we’re all somebody’s child so i dont play with mothafuckas in general. Glad you get me though and I hope Jamari will to

    1. My thing is, why are you so sure work wolf did Jamari wrong? It’s like you think it’s a fact when no one knows the whole story. I feel as though you’re taking your anger out on work wolf because of something you experienced.

      Before you can decide if someone is guilty, you have to hear both sides of the story. If you’re not even open to hearing both sides, you’re clearly in your feelings and being irrational.

  19. I’m confused as to why you’re upset. Given all your entries on this guy, this is normal behavior from him. Like it’s not out of the blue, unexpected, nada.

    Also, you have no real entries of you interacting with anyone else. Where are the dates? The other friends? Besides Mi and the occasional vixen your time revolves around him. So, he’s probably a bit tired but afraid yall go hebitch on him.

    Finally, he’s a straight guy. They lie to manipulate. You better start protecting your reputation, honestly. Otherwise, the day he decides to be messy you’ll look terrible: the broke, black gay guy who hates women. Now I’m not saying this is who you are BUT you accept lunches/dinners from him without batting an eye. Same goes for clothing and gifts. Yeah it’s cute now and he doesn’t mind, but how embarrassing will it be when its spread all over the office? Icing on the cake, he won’t be there so his fucks will be none.

    Advice: talk to him directly. Open honest communication is best. A lot can get lost/added from the source to
    the receiver. Find a new wolf at least one you know will respond without the games.

    1. This here!! At the end of the day you’ve let this work wolf thing become your focus and possibly your escape from other stuff that’s going on. I don’t believe the straight guy’s “lie and manipulate” thing because honestly everyone has the capacity for that. The truth is the friendship has come across as a little shallow and one-sided. Yes, he opens up to you about himself and yes, he buys you things and grabs the check but, how often do you open up about yourself to him? Do you share your hopes and dreams and goals? What does he bring to your life besides the fantasy?

      Honestly, it doesnt sound like he’s playing games. It just sounds like he’s just being himself.

      1. Very true, everyone has it in them to lie and manipulate. I was projecting there, so excuse me, lol.

        To echo you, Work Wolf is being himself. It’s Jamari who really needs to take another look at this one-sided relationship.

        Granted, Jamari has said he wants to be friends, but in the same breathe utter how he wants to fuck him. But it’s not lost on Work Wolf about Jamari’s attraction since that’s been put on front street. I think J needs to have the conversation about the possibility or let it go entirely.

        We can’t help who we are attracted to, but we can pick and choose how we act. I’m going through something very similar and right now its hell, but WE both know it can be wonderful when its not in jest.

        Open and Honest Communication. Listen and really hear what the other is saying.

  20. Don’t beat yourself up you didn’t do anything wrong, HE WAS deceitful, he was back handed in how he operated. God did you a favor because now you see him for what he is. I know it hurts because you confided in him but rest assured that everything will work out accordingly and folks like him, who aren’t consistent in their behavior patterns and/or judgment calls ultimately destroy themselves and their relationships with others. Be safe love and I’m praying for you as always,

  21. J, I preface this by saying that I hope that you’re okay & hope you don’t let this send you into a downward spiral.

    Now, although I haven’t been vocal around here, I’ve kept track of the “work wolf saga”, and TBH, I’m surprised by all this that went down. I’ve read everyone’s comments & I feel like EVERYONE has valid points:

    – This is third-party info.
    – He IS “preoccupied” with some vixen.
    – This is unlike him.
    – You did have other motives other than friendship.
    – He did send mixed signals.
    – You did start acting like his “girlfriend” at times.

    What would I do? Back up. Distance. You both have some faults here… Don’t run into this guns blazing. Would I cut that ass off? Maybe… but I would assess your options & thoughts. I do wholeheartedly agree that you’re acting PURELY on emotion. You’ve gotta chill.

    Think with your head right now baby boy.

  22. Jamari, I hope you went to sleep before reading the comments on here. Be grateful for the comments of ATLAnonymous and YColette.

    You, yourself, said you wanted to give him space last evening and would head to the train alone, and he said cool. Later, you get a text from someone, which you don’t even know if the information is accurate or the context in which it was stated, if indeed it was even said!

    Chill, young brother, chill.

    Messy, jealous people love drama and love to stir up stuff. Some women and some queens always want stuff stirred up; some live for it. The person texting you may very well have embellished her story. How many of the people on this thread have relationships? Jealous and envious people don’t want to see others enjoying what they don’t have.

    Work Wolf bought you lunch yesterday. In fact, he’s treated you to a lot of things, including clothes. He likes you. He also likes a lot of pussy and doesn’t hide that fact. You know the deal.
    You’ve been closeted, yourself, as it seems is the case with most of the people on here. And, Work Wolf might not even be closeted; he might just be a guy who likes you, nothing more. You’ve said, yourself, the relationship is platonic.

    Did you ever make the appointment with a therapist? We discussed that a longtime ago. For you to delete your text history with him, to take his number out of your phone, based on something some woman texted you speaks volumes about you. It says, Jamari, you are an emotional wreck. I hope you got a good night’s sleep. Please do not give power to some second hand story somebody fed you via a text.

    If he did say what was alleged, perhaps he does not want people to think he has feelings for you and that he might be gay. Guess what? You’re not exactly “out” either. Again, you don’t need to do anything rash. Eat a good breakfast and take your but to work.

  23. You are in an emotional relationship with someone who does not want a sexual or emotional attraction relationship with you. Why do this to yourself? Real Talk: You need to get out there and date. Sometimes you come off as desperate on this blog which is a huge turn off for many! Remember to smile and try to focus on your goals.. Can we see posts about your goals and future ambitions? What about topics on the fluidity of sexuality? Anything but tired ass “Work Wolf”

    1. ^^^^
      Thank u!

      Godamit, since March, its all abt Work Wolf, n less Jamari.

      Let the nigga go. If u the most intelligent nigga in ur grup(duo) of friends den oi mate, u gats ta’ go.

      Can’t blame Work.Wolf tho. Sometimes panic mkes as act off. Wateva it is Jamari needs to knw tat nw is his time.

      Remember when Jamari said he’d write a book?

      Yup, guess not…with Work Wolf jamming all dem creative brain cells

  24. J. Don’t beat yourself up. He showed you who he is. Now believe him. I would let him know man to man that you know what was said and you ain’t for it. If tyere is something he needs to say tell him sat it to your face or else No further conversation needed. Don’t be mad. Be free

    1. Do you. Let your phoenix take over and nor give your power to anybody that can’t be truthful to your face and especially behind your back. The real work wolf is who he is when he thinks no one is looking. Don’t block him. Don’t erase him. Be upfront and font hide but let him know you don’t fuck with niggas like this and you are good. Don’t be angry or bitchy..just be firm

  25. Tbh I been said that you should have dropped him. Not really because of this, but because the dude clearly was a headache and he always played with your head. Also when you would make posts about him being “distant” and avoiding you showed that he has selfish tendencies because you always seem to be open to speaking to him judging by your posts. Somebody stated this before and I agree, Work Wolf liked your attention that you gave to him. It sort of came across as a ego-boost IMO. You should just move on man. He seems like a headache IMO.

  26. NOT AT WORK…NOT AT WORK….NOT AT WORK!!!

    You are hurt and in your feelings. Please avoid this dude at all costs at work today. No matter how calm you think you are, it will be interpreted differently by those who don’t have your best interests at heart. The worst thing about this WW situation is that it seems to have distracted you from looking for another gig and getting your financial house in order. There may need to be an explanatory/ save -the-friendship conversation. Or you may want a summative/ fuck you forever conversation.

    But DONT DO IT AT WORK unless you have cash reserved equal to six months living expenses. DONT do it over text messages at work. DONT do it in person at work. Dont do it leaving work. DONT let liar-liar win!

  27. Can’t say I didn’t see this coming. Choose your friends wisely and not the ones in sheep’s clothing. Hell, I’d be worried if he was an informant for liar liar. Just like he shared problems about her, he’ll share problems about you too and you know this bitch will put your business on front street for everyone to see.

  28. Thinking About Work Wolf had me thinking about (Is Gaydar Real?) when your scoping out Wolfs

    The Background

    Whether or not “gaydar” — a supposed intuitive ability to identify gay people — is real, many people believe it’s possible to tell someone’s sexual orientation just by looking at them. The problem is, research (and anecdotal evidence) has found that gaydar tends to rely on stereotypical attributes — like the way someone dresses or how they style their hair — that don’t actually tell you anything about who someone’s attracted to. Gaydar, therefore, seems to legitimize these stereotypical myths, something that’s been shown to lead to prejudice and oppression. Unlike other forms of stereotypes, however, gaydar has seeped it’s way into popular culture, and it’s considered relatively harmless and socially.

    The Takeaway

    Taken at face value, the concept of gaydar may not seem like such a big deal, but there’s one big problem with stereotyping: It often leads to inaccurate conclusions. The researchers put it in terms of the “gay men like shopping” trope. If people assume gay men like shopping, that doesn’t mean that all men who like shopping are gay (or that all gay men like shopping). Not to mention, if gay men make up 1.8 percent of the male population in America, even if they’re ten times more likely to enjoy shopping, men who like shopping are still more likely to be straight — there are simply more men who identify as straight out there.

    Perhaps the researchers put it best: “Whether people fit or violate their group’s stereotypes is immaterial to their value — we would hope that, rather than being judged or pressured based on the existence of a stereotype, people can be treated as individuals and judged on their own merit.” Amen.

    My Conclussion……

    It seems to me that the study has two major flaws. First, it assumes that gaydar is purely visual and can be determined by a picture of a face. When my “gaydar” goes off, it’s more than just a picture of a face. It has to do with how he moves, how he talks, and basically, how he carries himself. The most sure fire way is to watch his eyes. If a hot guy walks by and his eyes follow, then he is probably gay, but if a hot girl walks by and his eyes follow her, then he is probably straight. You have to watch the eyes though, because head movements can be misleading, especially for someone in the closet.

    Second, the study assumes that gaydar is something that heterosexual men possess. While I do think that some women possess gaydar, most straight men do not. Heterosexual men often use all kinds of bad stereotypes to identify gay men; however, gay men and some women use more subtle stereotypes to identify gay men. I do not dispute that a large part of gaydar is stereotyping, but I think gay men tend to be more careful with stereotyping and are more intuitive. Many gay men were stereotyped before they came out, so they aren’t as quick to judge others unfairly. That being said, I will postulate that wishful thinking does occasionally interferes with gaydar.

    Finally, I think gaydar is possibly an evolutionary characteristic. Gay men have always existed, but we had to find one another. Historically, if a gay man hit on the wrong man, i.e. a straight man, then he might not survive the attempt. Therefore, I think along with the genetic code that makes us gay, we also have the ability to find one another. Then again, gaydar could be a complete myth built on stereotypes, but I think it is very real, some people just have better gaydar than others. I tend to think mine is pretty good

  29. I have no problem with ending the relationship with WW because of his behavior as in being moody,not returning texts,etc.My issue is ending a friendship based on the info of a third party.Particularly a third party who is not even a close friend of yours.To my knowledge this is the work vixen who has joined you guys for movies a couple of times.
    Last week my cousin broke up with her best friend based on some tea from a third party.She unfollowed her on social media,deleted contact,etc
    My cousin is 15 years old,that’s how teenagers react.

    I do agree with others that you have become consumed or obsessed with this guy and this is unhealthy.Last week I said you have to decide if this relationship is making you more happy or more miserable.You should base your decision on that criteria IMO.

    1. Agreed. No one is saying here that he isn’t “guilty” per se, and doesn’t deserve to be dropped (he probably does) but just suggesting that he take some time to assess the situation accurately. When I say time, I mean no more than a few days to a week, so not long. If this is salvageable, great, but given his recent behaviour, you may have to think more about what YOU want and NEED out of this situation. We don’t know what’s really going on, and he probably said what was alleged, if so I would want to see where this guy’s head is at. Ultimately it may be a good idea to leave work wolf regardless, but I would need to hear some things from horse’s mouth first, and THEN make my decision. This doesnt need to be a dramatic thing. It’s just a discussion from friend to friend. It works for some, and not others I suppose, it just depends on your perspective on friends in the first place.

      I do agree with the people saying not to handle this at work though. Just focus on your situation, do your job and then decide if its worth it for you to even spend your time figuring this out.

    2. Exactly.

      Also, this behavior from Work Wolf isn’t new. Whether it’s because he’s a closet case, or just an asshole. This has been his modus operandi from day one. He treats women the same way.

      So it leads me to beg the question, does J really feel BETRAYED by WW (if that’s how he has always been)? Or is J feeling REJECTED?

  30. J, don’t jump to the conclusion just yet. I know vixens and some vixens tend to make trouble. Now as a gentleman you should talk to Work Wolf and discuss if he’s interested in being friends or not because lately you been hearing things about him associated with you that seem troubling. You need to talk to him alone. And if he doesn’t want to be your friend anymore, so be it, it not the end of the world. It going to hurt for a while, but you will be okay eventually then make a new friend, but hopefully a gay one this time.

    1. Time to cut yourself loose and do you I too have had a ww who was not what I thought he was and now we do not speak I hate it him into my mind heart, dreams of a lover but I know in time it was all for the best. Time to do me and you need to do you without ww in the picture you will see the rainbow soon as I am starting to see it,God bless

  31. What I have come to see from all of the comments on here, and even Jamari’s post, that not one of us has noticed, is that we are all basing everything off assumption.
    The only fact running through all of this is that Jamari has feelings for work wolf. I would hazard a guess that work wolf has feelings too (I for one would not pay for lunch/dinner/movie, let alone high end clothing, for someone I had no fucks to give about), but none of know what those feelings are. Jamari does not even know what work wolf’s feelings are.
    Some of assume ww is a prick. Some of us (okay, maybe just me) think work vixen is trying to start trouble….some people thrive on drama. She may have taken what ww said, twisted it, and went to Jamari to get him all worked up. She has been out with the two of them…maybe she has feelings for one, the other, or both. ßall my speculation
    We also have to understand that as the Foxhole, we are only getting bits and pieces of the everyday happenings. Jamari doesn’t disclose every minute detail of what goes on (nor should he).
    What is clear is we all want what is best for him. And I, for one, will support him in whatever decision he makes whether I agree with it or not.

  32. 1. Man up. You are a MAN. Not a fox. A man. It’s time you start behaving as one.

    2. Calm down. Take it easy. Do not let your emotions control your actions. Leave that to the women.

    3. Pray. Meditate. Workout. Relax your mind.

    4. Don’t rush to judgement based off hearsay. You have NO facts here.

    5. Go to him man to man, and speak to him face to face before any decisions are made.

    6. Never become so invested in a fantasy that you lose sense of reality. Get a hobby. At the end of the day, all you have is yourself. Dont allow yourself to get so lost in anyone that you lose yourself.

    God bless you brother! Onward and Upward!

    1. #6. BRUH. Facts.

      I feel like this was to blame here. Although this is still all hearsay, the way we create these fantasies in our head tend to always lead to some sort of letdown, especially when they don’t play out like we expect them to.

  33. This is the time to put your cards on the table and reveal your hand… Clearly life is full of a series of crashes (like the movie) and since you have yet to hear his side… Your anger is fueled by suggestions of betrayal… Don’t let him control your emotions. I favor your blog sooooo much because I can totally RELATE all day… You are my brother from another and just know this storm shall to pass. You got this brethren … I know you will make the best decision and also apply all you have learned… We will be waiting and routing you on! You got this!

  34. Jamari I honestly don’t think this situation is your fault. We honestly can’t control who we are attracted too. Like I said plenty of times before work wolf is DL, he wants you but females is filling his sexual needs so that’s why he hasn’t made a move on you. I’m sorry no straight dudes do stuff for a gay dude like work wolf has done for you. Work Wolf is trying to fight his feelings for you and that’s why he is moody and frustrated and taking all his anger out on you. I think you need to address work wolf in a nice respectable way. Maybe talk to him when you’ll are finish with work when no one is around and tell him what you’ll mutual friend told you. Tell him work wolf I appreciate everything you have done for me and I wish you much success with everything you do, but we can’t be friends anymore. This way he would think twice about opening up his big mouth to others about you, and this will hurt him because he lost you. Jamari like I said before dude you really need to get in the gym to clear your mind, build a better body to boost your confidence, and hey possibly meet a dude there, the dudes you like stay in the gym lol, I also hope you can get in with a good therapist.

  35. I personally think you reaction is from an emotional stance, which you shouldn’t do, and I think you should really talk with him, put it all out there. Find out what’s true and what’s false, than look at the situation from both sides of the spectrum. Have you subconsciously, told yourself that you’re more than just friends with this guy and have you lead your subconscious to believe that he would eventually committ himself to you? I have read every blog regarding you and work wolf, and as a reader I think you have fallen deep in love with this guy and what causes your emotional encounters are the uncertainties with this guy, not knowing if he shares the same feelings as you, what his prospectives are and the desire of you guys actually becoming sexually intimate. I think the fear of complete rejection plays into the emotional encounters as well.

  36. Everyone seems to be assuming that Work Wolf is on the DL or leading Jamari on. All of this is based on the fact that he’s nice to Jamari and based on black male masculine stereotypes we aren’t supposed to show emotions or do anything for our friends. WW being nice and buying dinner or paying things does not make him gay or secretly in love with Jamari. One of my best friends is a hetero masculine male who drives from South Carolina to Atlanta just to check on me because he knows I suffer from depression. When he was making more money and more financially stable than me he paid for EVERYTHING we did. We went to the movies he paid. We had dinner he paid. He paid for us to go to Aquarium and different events. I stood up with the guy at his wedding and his girlfriends and later wife used to joke about us having “man dates”. You’ve even heard of people jokingly referring to people as there “work wives.” My old manager once to me that his sister said that based on the way he talked about work that “he was in a relationship with me, going through a bitter divorce with another of my coworkers, and he and another of my coworkers were seeing other people.” lol

    Let’s be honest. Has this dude been caught out checking out other guys? Nope. It’s always the sexy Vixens catching his eye. Everyone seems to be caught up with the Wade and Noah fantasy where you’re the one special gay man above all other men in the world who just does it for him. I don’t wanna be harsh but, everyone hopping on here saying he’s in love with Jamari and oh so conflicted with his sexuality is NOT helping anything.

    At the end of the day it’s about feeling special and everyone’s need to be special. I’ve seen so many foxes fall into this trap all because they want to feel special. You don’t need a guy to feel special or unique. What would happen if we went back and changed the narrative? What would happen if WW was gay and treated Jamari the same exact way only instead it being vixens his focus was on White foxes or Latino foxes? Would the fantasy still be so enticing? Probably not because the sex appeal lies with him being straight.

    I say if you legitimately want the guy’s friendship without strings then this wouldn’t be an issue. For all we know work vixen interpreted what he said wrong.

    1. Everyone is just taking the context clues from the stories Jamari gives us and interpreting it based on the events in our lives.

      Just like YOU interpret work wolf to be a hetero guy who doesn’t conform to stereotypes because you had one in your life.

      We have dealt with closeted gay men so we interpret it in that way.

      Your guess is as good as anyone else’s.

    2. Bow!!!! Now this is the comment I have been looking for!!!! I am still interested in hearing The Man’s take on this?

  37. Wow I feel late to the issue, but I’m so sorry to hear this it’s like this behavior had come totally from left field. All of this time has gone by and you have put your self out there for him not only emotionally but in other aspects. Smh

    This entire time you were trusting your gut when you kept asking him about liar liar and he was just brush it off because you knew there was something more going on than what He was letting up on.

    I hope this is a mix up or something just in the water, this dude has been in your life and even tho it’s been a crazy ride for the most part you like him being there. I’m praying for you just like the rest of the foxhole is.

  38. I think J just should let it go, put ww in the forebidden fruit zone, be his work associate, say thanks but no thanks to food and gifts, seek like minded men to befriend, send that resume out, ask for a promotion, date a little you never know who might be around the corner, do squats, buy some condoms a little protected dyck never hurts every now and then. You’re in New York for God’s sake, there is a man somewhere there that you could be having fun with. You said there were fine men checking you out when you were with ww and he got mad. Smile, wave, say hello. Men don’t look at men that way for no reason. Life is what you make it. You have the potential to have the greatest life ever. Step out on faith.

  39. Is this confirmed? Sounds like hearsay. Let’s be grown and approach and tell him how disappointed that he said that, if he did.

  40. What can I say that hasn’t already been said? Don’t end it like this. It’s been repeated a lot in here. DONT! You deserve to hear it from the horse’s mouth. Oh and we salivating for an update!!!!

  41. I have a few things to say about this..

    Sounds like drama to me. If you guys are so close, why didn’t he tell you? Why was it her? Not saying she’s lying but you never know with people these days. Still, what reason would she have to lie. I’d be cautious about receiving second handed info though…

    If you feel the need to talk to him about it, do so in the proper environment and be very calm and mature about it. Don’t be a fool and cause calamity in the work environment of anything that will create tension at work and distract you from your money…DONT LET NOTHING GET IN THE WAY OF NAKING YOUR MONEY AND BRINGING YOY SUCCESS…. Remember: NEGATIVE ENERGY BRINGS NEGATIVE ACTIONS!

    On the other hand, I myself would just focus on work. All this he said, she said stuff; if Work Wolf has an issue with you or whatever, oh well.

    In life, you meet and lose people. THAT’S a part of life and reforming yourself. You gain muscle (strength of life experiences) and shed the excess fat (dead weight, things that add nothing to YOUR advancement)

    I can’t speak too much on the subject since im fairly new & wasn’t here during the first posts of work wolf but didnt he start acting like this when he got his new girl (smash toy) or something.

    I’ve had “friends” in the past use me for their convenience until they find a lover & then they act all distant once they get a new boo..not saying this is the case, but I quickly cut them off/drop. I don’t have time for that and refuse to be a placeholder….sorry.

    You have to be really careful of people these days. Lots of users and abusers out there.

    Who knows, this could be a simple misunderstanding somewhere but in any case if it isnt , move on because……

    THERE ARE PLENTY MORE WOLVES TO CHOOSE FROM IN THE WORLD THAT ARE SECURE ABOUT WHO THEY ARE AND WONT TAKE YOU THROUGH HOOPS. There are over 7.3 billion people on this Earth….

    Subtract 1…that leaves you with seven billion two hundred ninety-nine million nine hundred ninety-nine thousand nine hundred ninety-nine..

    Hmm, I’d say your odds of finding another Wolf are still pretty good…

  42. I purposely refrained to give my opinion on this. For once, I wanted to sit back and read the comments, which were very telling. There are a lot of weak minded men in this life, these comments validate that opinion. For the ones stating that is third party information is unreliable are bullshitting. If the third party revealed information said about them was from an acquaintance/friend instead of a love interest, they would be ready to cut that person off, I know what I am talking about, but since it is over a man, people are willing to hold out on hope that the man is genuine. BYE! Similar to the black female, some men in the life are willing to have hope even when there is none. Take heed to the last part, even when there is none. As I have been stating for a while, Work Wolf is only using Jamari for attention, there is nothing more to this. He is getting an arousal over the fact that someone will always want him if no one does. He only wants Jamari to be interested in him, someone people just want to be wanted, an ego boost, which is the case here. When Jamari said he was seeing someone, he did not make a move and express his feelings. Same thing when Jamari was checking out that dude, he was just jealous because his eyes were off of him. Some of you claim to have dealt with men closeted. Let me tell y’all something about that. A closeted man is a man who likes men, but chooses to keep the fact that he likes men private. I am certain, some of the men you all are referring to like men, but are suppressing their feelings, which is denial. There is a difference between a man living in denial and a closet case. Stop saying you have dealt with a closeted man…no you have dealt with a man who is in denial, and these types usually are clockable as hell because of the mannerisms.

    To be honest, I am concerned about the aftermath of this. What is going to happen to Jamari’s mental state if this man does not to be with him romantically? Depression is likely because I know he is obsessed with this man, a spade is a spade. All the entries about him. This should have stopped a long time ago, but it has been around seven months since this has been going on, and I did not expect this to be going on this long, none of us have. If I were still sweatin that Jamaican, I would be in the insane asylum, I ain’t even lying. However, after I asked him and got the answers, I was fine. I found out he was a fellow top, and that he actually likes feminine men, which I knew the last part, but I thought he was a verse and got topped by masculine men. Well anyway, it was done in two months, and it may be time for Jamari to put the cards on the table for his sanity as I did. Confront him about the mixed signals he has been sending out and actually ask him if he is romantically interested, even though I know what the answer may be. Whatever, the answer is, Jamari needs to hear it from his mouth in order to keep his sanity, it has come down to that. He will feel a lot better. Yes, this is risky, but if this man is a true friend, it really should not matter. In Jamari’s mind, the friendship is something more anyway because his feelings are involved, it is not like he is enjoying the friendship in the way typical friends do.

    1. Well your comment is no different from mine or anyone else who said don’t base your decision SIMPLY on hearsay.Instead J should confront him and hear it from the horse’s mouth so he can get clarification and closure.I said that months ago as well.I also said weeks ago if this relationship/friendship is causing him more pain than joy than he needs to end it.Personally I have never ended a relationship based on hearsay.I have ended relationships based on how the the relationship makes me feel.Sometimes if a person isn’t able or willing to provide you what you need than you have to move on.

      1. @Y Colette, exactly! That’s what most people here were saying, hearsay.

        @The Man, you could’ve kept that ostentatious comment, tbh. It was hearsay that Jamari got, period. Third-party, period. Was it valid & accurate? Maybe, maybe not. You using this time to bash the guys on here calling them “weak-willed” was truly unecessary & some fuck shit, for real. Find your chill button bruh.

      2. Brave, and you could have kept your one cent worth rebuttal about MY opinion to yourself, and I state my opinion when I am ready and how I want to. Trust and believe, if I wanted to bash and go in you know that I am very capable, but that was not my intent, nor what my comment was mainly about. No need to get your feathers ruffled and the curse me out, which was also unnecessary.

      3. The third party must be someone trustworthy for him to believe her. I usually believe what I heard if I trust the source and they have no reason to lie.

      4. There goes that ego again. You really do get off talking about yourself, eh? Your OPINION could’ve stayed on topic and been helpful instead of bringing in your tactless feelings about weak minded men in our community, and then proceed to say what most of us said in a roundabout way.
        Like I said before, find your chill button.

      5. What ego Brave? Are you retarded? Everything I said is MY opinion, it has nothing to do with my ego. I said how I felt and I say it how I want. What does my ego and talking about myself have to do with this? Sounds like a personal problem that you had way before this discussion. You are the one making it about me. Just go away!

    2. Yea, this comment is pretty consistent with what me and Y Colette have been saying. No one thinks WW is genuine, we’re quite familiar with his modus operandi. However, third party information is unreliable, especially when you claim to have such a close relationship with the perpetrator of the wrongful actions. It’s unfair to both people in the situation.The best way to get closure is by obtaining information directly from the horses mouth. Cutting things off without as much as a conversation will not accomplish anything, except more rationalization and rumination.

      I agree with you on everything else. Jamari convinced himself (with the help of many commenters on here) that there was hope. It was obsessive. Analyzing benign signs (with the help of other commentors), and concocting an unrealistic fairytale. He convinced himself he was the special exception to Work Wolf’s pretty consistent fuckboy behavior.

      Now he has to pick up the pieces. In my opinion, he should do that by telling WW exactly what he wants. More than likely, WW aint gonna be down with it, and J needs to MOVE ON with his life. Period.

      J, if you’re out there…..take care of yourself man. I know these comments have been a battlefield. Hope you come back soon.

    3. Out of the 100 comments only 10 made some sense. The Man you hit the nail on the head with this on. I agree with what you are saying 1000 percent.

  43. J. Check in man. Don’t let all of the comments get at you. You know what’s best for you. Everyone else are just on the sidelines.

  44. I have been reading this work wolf thing and it’s sad to see it end like this. I feel bad for Jamari because he had high hopes with this guy. I pray for positive energy sent his way and that this was a huge misunderstanding…

  45. Jamari I really hope you did not let this situation with work wolf get you down, or harm yourself, or act out of character. If you don’t feel like posting we understand but check in with us so we know that your good.

  46. Wow at all the comments.

    I think Jamari is/will be fine. He’s stronger than we or even he knows.

    I think it was presumptuous of us to assume we know everything that led to Jamari deciding his best recourse was to cut ties with this guy or that he came to that decision based on what someone else told him without checking facts. Especially considering how much he liked dude.

    Like I said before, this was one of those situations he had to play through the end and gain an important lesson from.

    I must commend him on being brave enough to be transparent and risk feeling somewhat judged with over 100 comments.

  47. I’m starting to think people in the comments are forgetting some things. Correct me if I’m wrong please.

    1) We don’t know all the details and Jamari doesn’t describe everything. So when a person in the comments say to end everything lacking info, I think that person is very negative.
    2) We have to take Jamari’s words. People love to fill in the blanks, but we can’t do that.
    3) The foxhole should believe in Jamari. Jamari is strong and he knows how to peep stuff. I actually think Jamari has been through the hopelessly in love phase. Jamari has assured us Work Wolf is a great friend though.
    4) No one is saying Work Wolf isn’t wrong. We’re just checking with Jamari if he is sure beyond doubt that Work Wolf is wrong, it’s not seeming that way going off Jamari’s words.

      1. The Man I really hope so. I just feel like Jamari has helped me so much with my life I would hate hate for it to end like this. I might so corny for saying this but I feel we’re kind of like brothers here.

    1. No I haven’t emailed Jamari Y. I just know how he operates when he is sad or upset. Sometimes people need a few days too cool off and gather their thoughts and they need space.

      1. The Man I get that Jamari sometimes doesn’t blog when he is going through something. I might sound selfish for saying this but I do think it would be the right thing for Jamari just to post and tell us he will be back in a few days. I’m just worried about him because Jamari has lost his parents, his best friend, he is dealing with issues on his job. Jamari hasn’t been happy for a while and it seemed work wolf was making him happy he trusted and liked that dude hence him telling him he was gay, then for that to happen the other day it just makes me think the worse. I’m not trying to sound redundant or negative but I’m just worried about Jamari and I truly hope he is okay.

"off topic", trolling, and other nonsense gets sent to my spam folder. other than that, play nice and let's discuss!