work wolf said yes!
i didn’t know whether to sit or stand.
i literally felt weak in the knees.
well i knew how i was going to respond…
so work wolf admitted he said what he said.
who will now call “nightly”,
when nightly told me,
i knew in my foxy senses he said it.
after some recent incidents where he got caught up.
mostly with him telling lies and stories.
i called him saturday and told him i heard what he said.
he told me he said it.
liar liar wasn’t involved in any schemes.
she just happened to be there when he said it.
nightly was actually trying to chill with both of us.
thats why she was also there.
according to work wolf,
he said it because people have been talking about us.
“you’re always around.
we are always leaving together.
people been whispering.
you are my first gay friend so i don’t know how to handle this.”
hell a majority of the times,
it was him insinuating i come around.
he admitted he did.
he said he liked when it was just “us” and no one was in our business.
in the end,
he really had no explanation for his behavior.
he knew nightly would tell me which is why he said it in front of her.
he didn’t know how to tell me.
he didn’t want to hurt me.
“i’m sorry jamari.
i really am.
i fucked up with you bad.”
we both ended the call with us kind of in the air.
i think i’m over him tho.
no amount of “i’m sorry” can justify what he did to me.
i’m not mad.
i just feel…
used or something.
i stayed in the bed the rest of the weekend.
got up to eat,
wash my tail,
and quickly went back to bed.
i didn’t cry.
i was kinda just numb.
i did do a lot of praying tho.
the comments in the last entry…
some of them felt made me feel like i couldn’t breathe.
like i was claustrophobic within my own skin.
like i was the only one in the world who fell for someone like this.
jamari fox liked the straight wolf.
no one else in this life has ever fell for one.
everyone is in happy relationships.
some are engaged.
the rest are married with a couple cubs.
i’m the dumbass.
“You’re so fucking brave. I can’t even take my parent’s overbearing nature and you have 100 comments from overbearing people telling you what you did wrong and what you need to do. I couldn’t do it!”
i did feel like i was being ganged up on.
i’ll be honest.
is that too honest?
there was no texting or calling today.
i didn’t really see him.
i didn’t expect to see him.
i didn’t care if i saw him.
i hate how he made me feel tho.
…like road kill.
lowkey: i got everyone’s emails.
i needed some time.
thanks for understanding.
well reply back to each one soon.