That Is Not Your Name


that is not your name…

when your parents looked at you in the delivery room,
they didn’t say:

“we should name this beautiful baby…

your name,
the one you rightfully goes as,
is actually whats on your birth certificate.
what you introduce yourself as when you meet people.
its the name you use to sign documents.
what you put on top of your research papers or work assignments.
see when strange people call you those names,
people who don’t even know you,
they should have no effect on you whatsoever.
your sexuality is a small piece to the wonderful creation that is you.
you are more than who you choose to fuck.
shit i would be rather be called those names than:


the ones that limit you in society.
ones that stop you from providing for yourself.
i’d also rather be called those names than these gems:


the ones where people can’t trust me.
the ones where i can’t even trust myself.
tumblr_nekzwcozrU1sg20sfo1_500see people will try to put a title on you.
we are all “some name” when being talked about.
it shouldn’t bother you.
always remember: that is not your name.

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

12 thoughts on “That Is Not Your Name”

  1. I be damned if people gone be putting titles on me when they get mad lol. Hell no! It has never bothered me. As long as I know who I am.

    S/N: Love the new layout man.

  2. Hey jamari great post as usual very thought provoking but I do have a question how do you get gay people themselves to realize this because from what I’m seeing it seems that gay people are some of main the ones who perpetuate this attitude and sometimes I think its often intentional in order to maintain a social hierarchy within the community what are your thoughts on that?

      1. Hey jamari I’m glad you asked cause I hope I made any sense when I made the comment but based on what I’ve witnessed being around gay people I get this feeling that because some of them feel such a need to identify that they project some of the same attitudes that straight people about have towards gay men kinda like the black folks vs niggas dynamic or fem vs masculine etc.

        1. ^well you are definitely correct.

          I feel like most gays are their own worst enemies sometimes.
          im lucky to have a great group of readers who exude class,
          but it seems different once you venture out these parts to other gay areas.

          if you really think about it,
          every race and role of life has the same hang ups.
          I don’t think that will ever change as the world goes on.
          you just have to know where you fit and go from there.

      2. So what I’m saying is what gay people need to address is the internalized homophobia within the community and the social ranking mentality that plagues the black gay community.

  3. First off, I love love love the new layout for your site! It looks so professional! Thank you for this entry! As a child going to middle school I was called all of these names! I even tried to commit suicide twice! In school I was never super feminine but I wasn’t like the other boys. I hated sports and still do. I was quiet, nerdy, super nice, and had a high pitched voice. So I got picked on and teased a lot! Thank god it’s over! After college I want to start an anti-bullying foundation to help all youth including lgbt youth who are being bullied in school. I want to give them resources such as free therapy sessions with college educated therapists who can help and I want to help put in new national laws to stop bullying in our country! Bullying really is becoming a bad epidemic in our country and the world. Thank you again for this!

  4. Those names used to bother me when I was younger but now they do nothing. Hell I actually take it in stride

  5. I’ll admit I had the high pitched voice and wasn’t your average boy growing up. I heard a few of those names at school and even through my family.

    Eventually I just assimilated. Watched how other boys acted and acted accordingly.

    Didn’t make me cry or anything, I just changed and became tougher, more vicious with my words and quick tempered to say the least.

    I’m still that way.

If you wouldn't say it on live TV with all your family and friends watching, without getting canceled or locked up, don't say it on here. Stay on topic, no SPAM, and keep it respectful. Thanks!

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