as you know,
when i have a lot on my mind,
i don’t watch tv or listen to music.
my mind won’t allow me to focus on the show or the song.
one of my home-vixens, divaa(as we will call her),
told me to watch a movie that will make sense to me.
she felt i’d relate to it heavy. it was “soul” on disney+ and foxhole…Continue reading “i don’t wanna be a lost soul”
this entry is a f0xmail,
but not really.
i got an email from an faithful f-bihad a video to share with me.
part of his email read:
“I needed to share this video because it BLEW MY MIND to say the least. Its this lady giving a blowjob tutorial, and when I say shes doing some freaky-ass sh*t, dude…whoa, lol. Ive seen alot done in porn clips, but damn. I thought you and your crew would have a definite field day with this one”
i know you foxes/wolves/and hybrids love a good throat tutorial.
i’m not in the business of outing anyone. never believed in that.
i live by a code of silence of what i know.
the entertainment industry.
a place where people come to pursue their dreams.
people think they get signed and everything is all hunky-dory.
what they don’t realize is behind those doors is something that they aren’t ready for. Are you ready?…
i needed to watch this.
woke up feeling a little defeated.
things are moving slow.
slow and shaky.
life is not being fair.
in between the tears, i still believe.
i believe something better is out there for me.
this can’t be “it”.
all the bad treatment and the hurt… was that for nothing? was i given this talent to write for it to be nowhere?
was i put here on earth to suffer?
there are so many other people who are suffering.
so many people who are living in hell and have everything.
it’s not me.
i don’t think so.
but it’s my mind that will keep me contained.
keep me stagnant. “you’re not good enough.” “you will never make it.“ “you willnever get a job.“ “you will be doomed.“
it’s that voice.
that is what makes you “not make it”.
i came across these video and it was like coffee for a tired soul..
look at you.
your bills are due.
you can’t even afford to eat.
you keep praying and no break through.
look around and see all your peers.
they are like little robots. money, cars, and hoes– thats all a nigga knows.
but, someone comes along.
he seems trusting.
he says he will make all your dreams come true.
you won’t be hungry no more.
your money will always be long.
and, you will have all the dick/ass your heart desires.
he turns on the television and there you are.
you are now a role model to the kids.
you have a nice home and living a different life than you are now.
you look at him and cry.
yes, that’s you.